Wonder Woman 84 (2020)...2/5...I was going to do a formal review but I think it would just be unnecessarily long, so I will just focus on the things that really ruined the experience for me personally. I'll start with the things I liked...Gal Gadot is still perfect as WW visually, and in this one she gets to display more acting range and I thought she did decent and it was only the story telling that made her look silly like in the last act when the mystery energy has her pinned against the wall or when her super speed and leaps look like amateur wire work. I also liked the message at the end but not the way it was done, I mean, you limit the situation to say 4-5 people, it could work, but to open it to entire planet, there are just too many individual needs for the concept to work as a whole.
Spoilers Ahead:
One of my biggest cinematic peeves of all-time is when a magic or superpower is used or shown inconsistently. I dont mind the random macguffin but don't break your own rules and here the magic crystal grants you any wish as literal as you ask for it, except WW, she wishes for the love of her life back [the crystal reads her mind!???, wouldn't it be able to read other minds? You know what, forget I mention it, the film does too] but for WW, her loved one must inhabit the body of a stranger for her wish to come true, so if we were to remain consistent with that rule of the magic crystal, it would mean that the people we see in the film asking for a million dollars, should have gotten them in Rupees or other currencies but they don't, they get exactly what they wish for so why is it different for WW??? This film really comes across like the writer put a buncha stuff on paper and didn't ask, "Does this scene concept have any flaws?" And you wanna know what i find worse than Stormtroopers with bad aim???? Enemies with rifles PROTECTING a VIP and NOT SHOOTING their rifles at the good guys!!!!! I mean, in some scenes they don't even raise their rifles and maybe it would work in the first act when the main villain is just getting started but at this point in the film it is well-established that he can control people. But that entire middle east sequence is just hot garbage laid on a train track awaiting to be run over. The CGI is trash. Tell me why everyone gets one wish, except the supporting villain? She gets TWO wishes! Almost every aspect of this film had an issue, take the Steve coming back thing, in WW part 1, WW herself is the fish out of water and in WW84, Steve returning 70 years into the present means he is the fish out of water, and I guess its cool but then why is it that Steve is in awe of art , sculptures, and trains? and he even mistakes a trash bin for an art piece, but somehow he also learns to fly a modern jet plane in seconds [a plane which happens to be FULLY FUELED AND READY TO FLY ROUNDTRIP TO THE MIDDLE f*cking EAST on DISPLAY AT THE SMITHSONIAN MUSEUM!!! Yes, you read that right!! They steal a plane on display!!!!] I'm not even going to elaborate on what I found to be one of the weakest villains I have ever come across, when you feel more afraid for WW when she fights Cheetah than Maxwell Lord, there is a flaw in your main villain. And I wont elaborate on the useless Gold Armor that was clearly created to sell the film through the posters.
But these two things finally put the nail in the coffin for me....one was the pimping out of the 1984 theme, this was the equivalent of CINEMATIC CLICKBAIT! I loved 1984, I was 11-years old, my brother was born that year, I was sneaking in all manner of video nasties to watch, I had just gotten the Atari a year previous so by then I had a few games, I was impressing the kids at school with my natural american football skills...many of these memories come flooding out uncontrollably whenever I hear any of the songs from 1984, just to name a few:
When Doves Cry
I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues
Like A V*rgin
Born In The U.S.A.
Careless Whisper
Take On Me
I Feel For You
The Reflex
Crazy For You
You Might Think (I'm Crazy)
Against All Odds (Take a Look At Me Now).
There are so many songs that were absolutely PERFECT for this storyline and moments within, yet the filmmaker opted for an original score throughout and while Hans Zimmer is a bad m*fo, nothing would have injected more fun and a little needed distraction from some of the odd story moments than some classic hits from '84. The second thing that was a huge disappointment was the handling of the invisible jet. I remember the WW cartoons and how cool it looked having WW flying in what was basically a glass slipper...the image is iconic! I had no idea the invisible plane had made it into the film. Sadly, it is trash because even the setup is bad with the aforementioned pre-fueled Smithsonian-Exhibit jet---so while we are scratching our head about that strange coincidence and the ABSOLUTELY OUT OF NOWHERE 4th of July date and fireworks show, we finally get to invisible plane time and it is cheap and infuriating on EVERY level, from how WW gains this ability she's known about for 70-years to how the it is never used again, im not talking about just the plane but the whole fn ability, which mind you, could have been VERY USEFUL in the last act of the film!! This is the same blasphemy that The Predator (2018) is guilty of when it comes to the invisibility cloak element ...why even show things to us when you are not going to use them in the most optimal and intelligent way to enhance your storytelling. Why should you watch it? You enjoyed the first one and cannot believe they would miss an opportunity to make something more special than the first one or you desperately need your bad catfight CGI fix.