"Let's just be friends."

Naxx said:
If I did not seek truth I can tell you personally I would have no point in existence.

This may be a view shared by all infjs but it is mine and I am one.

The comic alone shows a perversion to block out truth; a person that never really respected the choices of another person. And it appeals to "good guys" because they think they deserve better; they think they have some how lost at a game they should have won. A person would be hard pressed to find a good girl like that, nor do they deserve it for being completely selfish.

I've been down this road before when I was young... love isn't about greed, earning, deserving; It's about love, trust and understanding.

It was when I understood this and I honestly loved someone else was when they started loving me. I have places deep within the hearts of women as well as men and they also have a place deep within mine.
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Urgh. What does the fact that you're seeking for truth have to do with being an infj?
How are those related?

To be honest, I hate the fact that everyone puts their type on some sort of pedestal.
 
prankster said:
Urgh. What does the fact that you're seeking for truth have to do with being an infj?
How are those related?

To be honest, I hate the fact that everyone puts their type on some sort of pedestal.
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I think that was a mistake actually. I believe the intended statement was

This may not be a view shared by all infjs but it is mine and I am one.
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The grammar doesn't make sense as is, and I suspect that is the fix.
 
prankster said:
Urgh. What does the fact that you're seeking for truth have to do with being an infj?
How are those related?

To be honest, I hate the fact that everyone puts their type on some sort of pedestal.
Click to expand...

Solar was right, I meant to say "this may not be a view shared by all infjs". I have been up for quite a few hours now and my mind is having trouble converting thoughts into English.

Truth is what I live for, it's proof that my intuitions, feeling and judgments are working for something just and that is in itself another feeling. I want to gain many perspectives and look at the world in a objective manner while keeping personal opinion. I want to explore the depths of not only ideas within the inner world but also the outer world. I want a better understand everything so I can live more truthfully so I can live closer to fate and the universe.

This is something that would be harder to understand if you were indeed lacking intuition and faith. For a person who truly understand these concepts they have to understand how to trust without absolute proof.

Attaining proof for such things as "what is the meaning of life?", "what is god?", "what is good and what is evil?" all these questions are up to the person themselves. Truth is different for all of us, although different people might share similar visions and perspectives of truth.

If you've not noticed by now, INFJ tend to like to live true to their hearts and souls. This is INFJ's stereo typical "truth", however this "truth" is also present within all people. However not all people care or pay much attention to it.
 
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Naxx said:
I meant to say "this may not be a view shared by all infjs".

Truth is what I live for, it's proof that my intuitions, feeling and judgments are working for something just and that is in itself another feeling. I want to gain any perspectives and looking at things objectively while keep an opinion. I want to explore the depths of not only ideas within the inner world but the outer world. I want a better understand so I can live more truthfully so I can live closer to fate and the universe.

This is something that would be harder to understand if you were indeed lacking intuition and faith. For a person who truly understand these concepts they have to understand how to trust without absolute proof.

Attaining proof for such things as "what is the meaning of life?", "what is god?", "what is good and what is evil?" all these questions are up to the person themselves. Truth is different for all of us, although it different people might share similar visions and perspectives of truth.

If you've not noticed by now, INFJ tend to like to live true to their hearts and souls. This is INFJ's stereo typical "truth", however this "truth" is also present within all people. But not all people care or pay much attention to it.
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Agreed... that is why we are natural empaths as well, I believe.

I know I seek deep truths in all things too and why and how I can care for others so much even when their actions have caused me pain in some way. I hope that makes sense and again, I agree with what you post.
 
This is a complicated issue with mutiple viewpoints. I was a little mad at first because of the way Billy kept bashing "nice guys". I consider myself one, have been in some similar situations, and do not consider myself dishonest or manipulative. As I read more I came to realize that he's not really talking about "nice guys", but maybe quieter guys who are manipulative. Yes, this is dishonest and wrong.

I think sometime the other person (I won't say women, just the other) shares the blame too. They keep someone around and string them along just enough to let the "nice one" think that there is a chance for more. That "nice one" is typically an NF type person who's emotionally supportive. It's done usually just so they can feel less lonely--and it's not right.

That's the situation I was in when I was younger, I always made my intentions clear though. I have too much Fe not to.
 
prankster said:
Urgh. What does the fact that you're seeking for truth have to do with being an infj?
How are those related?

To be honest, I hate the fact that everyone puts their type on some sort of pedestal.
Click to expand...

Because every INFJ I know in my life and I know a few of them actually all share that one thing in common especially. A longing for truth and knowing the truth behind all situations. Not just logical truth but emotional truths and the truth behind peoples actions.

So in regards to tying this into when you 1st started asking it in regards to this thread, when we see someone say "lets be friends" we instinctively hone in on his lie, he wants something else and that dishonesty to us is dirty. We hate hidden agendas more than almost anything.
 
Solar Empath said:
This is my shtick as well usually. If I can't really break off contact with an individual then I put emotional distance between us at the least.

Oh, and if someone says Just Friends and changes their mind later, then it's their responsibility to directly state that. Just Friends is permanent unless you state otherwise just as directly. It isn't playing 'hard to get', so don't get mad when the new 'friend' starts looking elsewhere for romance. :)
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Cause, I mean, really there is no point. With some people you ONLY want them for one thing, and if you can't get that the appeal is lost. Just as some people just want to be friends with someone and don't want to have be romantically involved, at times you find someone who you get to know and you can -only- see them romantically. If you were to try to be just friends, you'd still subconsciously be wishing or trying to get what you want. So for me it's easier to just state my intentions and make a contract or walk out. and yeah, I write out contracts for relationships XD
 
Billy said:
So in regards to tying this into when you 1st started asking it in regards to this thread, when we see someone say "lets be friends" we instinctively hone in on his lie, he wants something else and that dishonesty to us is dirty. We hate hidden agendas more than almost anything.
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I can definately relate to this. Needless emotional cruelty and emotional dishonesty are two things that really boil my blood and permanently put a bad mark on a person in my eyes.
 
It was a hilarious comic to me, and I thought it was obvious, self-explanatory and very funny! But on comes all this very serious discussion!

I think a lotta guys who do what that dude in the comic did don't realize and haven't considered the ethical aspect of what they are doing. They're not necessarily not nice people. They may not realize that they are being dishonest and manipulative.

It's like a 3 year old toddler in a grocery store with his mother. He wants skittles and his mother says "no". He cries. His mother comforts him, but still says "no" to the skittles. This happens maybe a couple times, then he stops crying about it. But if his mother gives in and gets him the skittles after he cries, he learns to use crying to get what he wants. This is manipulation, but obviously there is no conscious intent, and few people would go so far as to say that this is a bad kid.
 
pierce said:
It was a hilarious comic to me, and I thought it was obvious, self-explanatory and very funny! But on comes all this very serious discussion!

I think a lotta guys who do what that dude in the comic did don't realize and haven't considered the ethical aspect of what they are doing. They're not necessarily not nice people. They may not realize that they are being dishonest and manipulative.

It's like a 3 year old toddler in a grocery store with his mother. He wants skittles and his mother says "no". He cries. His mother comforts him, but still says "no" to the skittles. This happens maybe a couple times, then he stops crying about it. But if his mother gives in and gets him the skittles after he cries, he learns to use crying to get what he wants. This is manipulation, but obviously there is no conscious intent, and few people would go so far as to say that this is a bad kid.
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Except a baby doesnt have the understanding to know what its doing, a person does and they readily fight with themselves and vent to people around them all the time about the accursed women who wont REALIZE that they are supposed to be in love with them... I see this kind of action as weaselish and backhanded at best. It angers me that someone could be so petrified of just getting over it and making a move that they will sacrifice thier dignity and thier pride to be a weasel and steal the girls heart instead of just winning it like a man.
 
Billy said:
Because every INFJ I know in my life and I know a few of them actually all share that one thing in common especially. A longing for truth and knowing the truth behind all situations. Not just logical truth but emotional truths and the truth behind peoples actions.

So in regards to tying this into when you 1st started asking it in regards to this thread, when we see someone say "lets be friends" we instinctively hone in on his lie, he wants something else and that dishonesty to us is dirty. We hate hidden agendas more than almost anything.
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Then what types aren't looking for truth?
What types don't hate hidden agendas?
 
I win hearts like a real man.

Rawr.

Ah, I gotta put that on my profile now.
 
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prankster said:
Then what types aren't looking for truth?
What types don't hate hidden agendas?
Click to expand...

Some types cant understand truth in the same sense as others do. I cant remember my phone number or which pump number I parked next to with my truck when I'm paying at the cashier. But I can analyze a situation and twist the truth out of it like a bastard. I could never be a detail oriented, data driven, type person like a lot of STJ types, and oddly enough those are the same ones that would excel at it but suck horribly at understanding an abstraction like truth.

I am an INFJ and I live with a male ISTJ and I know truth and hidden agendas are things that don't even come up on his radar. Like at all. So ISTJs like my friend for 1.
 
prankster said:
Then what types aren't looking for truth?
What types don't hate hidden agendas?
Click to expand...
I have no idea what 'types' would feel that way. I do know that there are people that actually enjoy the game of manipulation and subterfuge in a relationship. I do suspect that such people aren't a specific type, but simply people that .. I don't know to be honest. I cannot understand why people like being that way. Never have been able to, and I have tried.
 
It has been my experience with others who have behaved this way, to be simply excersizing a sense of power when they are ultimately feeling powerless.

Passive agressiveness is usually a subtle form of unloading rage either conciousely or unconciousely.

To disarm the narsisist is the job of anyone who chooses to not participate in such interaction and helps maintain awareness and responsibility where it belongs...


Therefore, as far as types go, some types may be more predisposed to lacking awareness of their behavior and it's affects on themselves and others on an emotional level.
 
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On the odd occasion when I want a relationship rather than sex, I prefer to go down the path of friendship first, so that I know what type of person she is and how we'd get along, before getting so committed that we hurt each other when we break up, if we're destined to.

However I always let the girl know that I'm sexually interested in her, and I prefer to go in as friends with benefits, before becoming boyfriend/girlfriend.

In a relationship I really am a Nice Guy. Seems odd because it's me, but I don't see how acting like a cunt will keep a relationship together. Of course, I'm not the stereotype.
 
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Sometimes when a guy says "Let's be friends" it also sometimes means "Please don't tell your friends I'm a jerk". But I would still be their friend.
 
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