Like at first sight?

I have learned it is very silly. Snap judgements about people are often disproven upon further investigation. What can the superficial really tell you about someone? People can hide in plain sight. Dig deeper, and I would caution you not to rule out the possibility without taking a shot [MENTION=4717]subwayrider[/MENTION]. C'mon, live a little! ;P

The thing is, I have, and it never turned out well. This is how I've learned to trust my instincts. I'm all for experimentation, insanity is trying the same thing over and over expecting different results, but the thing is, I feel like I've experimented enough.
 
Is it silly to think that when I meet someone I'm compatible with, I will know it just by looking at them, or with minimal interaction?

Not in the least, part of this also has to do with what John Money called a "love map" it dates back to things in your childhood that click with an "ideal lover" image and you create associations with those things as you get older. That's not to say that such things are definite but if other qualities begin to balance out and they fit your "love map" to a certain extent it can become a major point of attraction, and could essentially be called "love at first sight", although it is a sort of building love if you will rather than something that hits you all at once. Keep in mind though that your "love map" can also work against you and you could be turned off by someone for no apparent reason as well, especially if you have been abused in some way as a child.
 
Not in the least, part of this also has to do with what John Money called a "love map" it dates back to things in your childhood that click with an "ideal lover" image and you create associations with those things as you get older. That's not to say that such things are definite but if other qualities begin to balance out and they fit your "love map" to a certain extent it can become a major point of attraction, and could essentially be called "love at first sight", although it is a sort of building love if you will rather than something that hits you all at once. Keep in mind though that your "love map" can also work against you and you could be turned off by someone for no apparent reason as well, especially if you have been abused in some way as a child.

I suspected something along those lines. The thing is, I don't really know what is I want, specifically. I've thought out some of the qualities that would be desirable for me in a few posts on this forum, but I don't actively weigh RL people's qualities against what it is I'm supposedly looking for. I tend to go with how I feel when it comes to these things, only because I don't think logic would be of very much use when it comes to romance. And, it isn't. Any INTJ can tell you that.

I'm turned off by people for no reason, all the time, as I was discussing with [MENTION=2890]Lerxst[/MENTION]. No logical reason, at least. Maybe the solution, as proposed by [MENTION=4015]purplecrayons[/MENTION], is to start opening up again, but not expecting too much all at once, because that will inevitably lead to disappointment.
 
Not in the least, part of this also has to do with what John Money called a "love map" it dates back to things in your childhood that click with an "ideal lover" image and you create associations with those things as you get older. That's not to say that such things are definite but if other qualities begin to balance out and they fit your "love map" to a certain extent it can become a major point of attraction, and could essentially be called "love at first sight", although it is a sort of building love if you will rather than something that hits you all at once. Keep in mind though that your "love map" can also work against you and you could be turned off by someone for no apparent reason as well, especially if you have been abused in some way as a child.

This sounds feasible to me, not that I am the authority.
 
I agree that's its possible to recognise a connection or sympatico feeling with someone when you meet them. I can count on one hand, how many people I've experienced an instant connection and understanding with. It's hard sometimes to deal with it, because it's rare. It's not often that you find it. But expectations are a tricky thing. For one, it's easy to start expecting the person to return the feeling or feel the same. Sometimes, the liking may seem mutual but it's actually one-sided. But on those occasions, where it is mutual, it's an outstanding experience.
 
I get it all the time, I intuitively know body language well enough to realize whether a person has a compatible personality or not. Any time I get a strong negative feeling I try to give them a chance, but my feeling so far has always been right about those. It may be more instinctual like animals fighting over territory, at least thats the closest comparison I have to the negative feelings.

I get these thoughts too, although I don't get bad vibes from people - just really strong good ones, occasionally. Happens rarely but I've not been led astray by this intuition.
 
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