Lives of the rich and shameless

[Lark]

I've got to confess a greater interest in the lives of people with means than the lives of people with no means at all, does anyone else experience anything like that?

Perhaps it could be that I've experienced the lack of resources or means myself and also known a lot people without means personally and professionally but the lives of the really obscenely wealthy I'd like to learn about.

I imagine that they would be really dissimilar to mine but I also think that there would be certain things which would be universal to everyone, what do you think?

 

[Skarekrow]

I've got to confess a greater interest in the lives of people with means than the lives of people with no means at all, does anyone else experience anything like that?

Perhaps it could be that I've experienced the lack of resources or means myself and also known a lot people without means personally and professionally but the lives of the really obscenely wealthy I'd like to learn about.

I imagine that they would be really dissimilar to mine but I also think that there would be certain things which would be universal to everyone, what do you think?

I’ve worked around some fairly rich people…not on the crazy rich scale like some CEOs…but some pretty well known Heart Surgeons.
Most of them are your classic type A personality type, very egocentric although also very good at hiding that at first glance, very used to being the center of attention.
I’ve been to some pretty nice parties…they are usually very generous as well to those they are friends with or associates of.

 

[Lark]

I’ve worked around some fairly rich people…not on the crazy rich scale like some CEOs…but some pretty well known Heart Surgeons.
Most of them are your classic type A personality type, very egocentric although also very good at hiding that at first glance, very used to being the center of attention.
I’ve been to some pretty nice parties…they are usually very generous as well to those they are friends with or associates of.

I've actually encountered that in the medical profession per se, having known people before, during and after their training for different areas of medicine and some afterwards.

One of the most egomanical types I've known was from that background, I'm not sure if they were aware of it and just content about it, in denial or believed that it was the only strategy in a dog eat dog kind of way but they were an awful person.

I saw a great stand up routine by bill connolly in which he talked about the uber rich and their transcendence of social class and strivings once, he suggested that its the more middling classes who are the people who want to acquire status and privilege and defend it for all their worth, I wonder if he was right about that and I kind of hope that he is.

The sorts of uber richies I wonder about, as to whether they actually exist, are the sorts like in that movie in which the treasure hunter guys are chasing confederate gold across africa and discover a polluting racket, there's a guy in the whole thing who is the boat owner and sponsor of it all in the background, I just wonder if there are people like that in real life, bankrolling adventurers and things.

 

[dogman6126]

I haven't been around obscene wealth, but I've been around medical professionals and business owners. In my area, it's almost always the case that those who have money don't act like they have money and those that don't really have a lot of money try to act like they have a lot of money. As for personality, I know several wealthy people that are very kind, several that are terrible people, and many in between. Just like those that don't have a lot of money. I don't see a major difference in the area I'm from. I don't know, maybe it's a small town thing.

 

[Dave Fallon]

Funny but I was thinking of this very topic today. I work in an affluent city and driving through it I always see people in very expensive cars. What occurs to me is that I get more irritated with their driving, and that is possibly an extension of some sort of latent jealousy towards their wealth, perhaps? But even as I realize their wealth makes it easier to be irritated with them, I also have to admit that there are many many people I encounter who are less wealthy than I am. I have to guess that they can feel more irritated with me for the same reason, and from that perspective I don't know if I feel that is OK or excusable or not.

I'm not a fan at all of noblesse oblige. I feel like people who allow themselves to feel superior due to their wealth, even with the understanding that it comes with responsibility in how to act with people of less means, is still superiority for a superficial reason. But at the same time, I find myself going out of my way to be friendly and smile when I buy something at a convenience store and the cashier is my age but probably working for minimum wage. I have no right to feel superior! But even in trying to act super nice, I'm somehow tacitly admitting to myself that I am superior and have some sort of obligation...

It's an uncomfortable position, being middle class and living in a lower class town but working in a higher class town.

I think, if I had to describe the ideal way of how different classes to interact, it should be as equals first. I think of that scene from Far And Away when Tom Cruise comes across the wealthy land owner in the tavern and realizes he can't hate the man who comes down to drink and carouse with the peasantry. But I'm not much of a drinker and a terrible carouser...

I'm interested in what other people have to say on this topic, though.

 

[wolkenkraetzer]

Are you irritated with their driving because they are poor drivers or because they are driving expensive cars?

Saying something nice to a cashier is not condescending--it's just common courtesy, particularly if you see that *all* levels work has value.

I must agree with dogman's observation. He has a keen eye, especially for someone so young: Regardless of level of wealth, class (or lack thereof) will be readily apparent. When one is 45 or younger, there is (usually) a focus on acquiring wealth. At 45 (certainly an accurate midpoint in life for many people and one I have already passed), if one is wise, one learns to appreciate and live with what one has. Of course, one could continue to obsess about having more toys than everyone else on the block, a la Ebeneezer Scrooge. Trouble is, he who has the most toys still dies.

 

[Dave Fallon]

Are you irritated with their driving because they are poor drivers or because they are driving expensive cars?

I'm irritated with their driving, but I feel like I am more easily irritated because they are driving annoyingly in expensive cars. I think I'm more tolerant of bad drivers that drive crappy cars, because I identify with them (I drive a pretty beat up car).

Saying something nice to a cashier is not condescending--it's just common courtesy, particularly if you see that *all* levels work has value.

I think I explained that poorly. My concern is that I'm being extra nice because of the difference (real or perceived) in socioeconomic status. I like to think I do value all levels of work, having worked a variety of jobs myself, and I think I show most people common courtesy. The problem is in the why, not the what. I may be obsessively over analyzing, but the topic was rich and shameless, so that was my take.

I do agree with you, though, that in the end, it did not matter how much wealth you had on the inevitable point.

 

[Eventhorizon]

I would have no issue bieng rich. When I am I will tell you all about it.

 

[wolkenkraetzer]

The problem is in the why, not the what. I may be obsessively over analyzing...

The answer to the "why" is simple: You were acknowledging the cashier's presence/existence. Were you having a bad moment/day you might have simple barked at her and then felt guilty/contrite for having done so.

I thought that overanalyzation was a hallmark of INFJs.

 

[Dave Fallon]

The answer to the "why" is simple: You were acknowledging the cashier's presence/existence. Were you having a bad moment/day you might have simple barked at her and then felt guilty/contrite for having done so.

Yeah, true. Maybe the problem is that I tend to profess a desire to fight for equality in all things, but I know internally I'm always intensely aware of the differences and unsure how to handle them. I compensate for the fact that lower-earning individuals may harbor bitterness towards me by trying to be extra nice to them. I guess there are worse ways to compensate...

I thought that overanalyzation was a hallmark of INFJs.

Haha! Yes, but I feel like I've been over analyzing more in recent years. Maybe it is my age. Like there is a point at which you turn from theorizing and experimenting to reviewing and analyzing. I would think that would be a natural progression, but there's darkness to it as well... In my youth, I think I approached the world with a curiosity that is waning and now I find myself very introspective, worrying about the experiences I've had and what they mean. And worse are the experiences I have not had but thought I would. I feel like it is no longer possible to approach the world with this "theory/experiment" fashion. Now if I haven't conducted the experiment, I will never know whether the theory is true because I will not have the data to review.

Oh crap. I'm over analyzing my over analyzing. Geez...

 

[Eventhorizon]

[MENTION=11771]Dave Fallon[/MENTION] if they harbor bitterness toward you is that not their issue of ignorance alone?

 

[Dave Fallon]

[MENTION=8603]Eventhorizon[/MENTION] I don't know. If it is their problem, it isn't their problem alone, since I apparently exhibit the same tendency towards others. But I agree that it is ignorance, or at least partly. I guess the end point is that I must be sensitive to that and forgive ignorance, and try to see those who are a higher class than I as people first, class only after. Therefore, I don't really admire them, especially for just their wealth. But if they act shameless about their wealth I forgive them for it. At worst, I pity them their ignorance, but I pity from a point of equality, not superiority.

But I'll still get irritated if they drive poorly.

 

[wolkenkraetzer]

You're allowed to get irritated in that case.

Eventhorizon is right: The faults lie within them, not you. Frankly, I doubt that lower-earning individuals are bitter toward you. My observation is that they are focused the in the immediate moment, solving whatever issue needs to be handled, a la Bridges out of Poverty. That doesn't give 'em much time to pay attention to much else.