Loner?

I'm definitely a loner but I value time with others just as much as I value time with myself.
 
I wouldn't consider myself a loner. I have many friends. Too much sociallzation makes me drain though. Hence, my preferance for solitary moments.

I think the word "loner" is misunderstood for some. A person is not necessarily labeled as a loner if he/she prefers solitude. A loner is a person that does not have friends.
 
"A loner is a label for a person who does not actively seek, avoids, or is isolated from human interaction" -wikipedia

Loners can have friends, they just don't make it a point to obtain them.
 
Wyote said:
"A loner is a label for a person who does not actively seek, avoids, or is isolated from human interaction" -wikipedia

Loners can have friends, they just don't make it a point to obtain them.
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Oh, I see now. My thinking process went like this:
Loner = Unwanted Loneliness = No Friends

Apparently, my definition of loner is inaccurate.

Oops. :mD:
 
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Naw, the word "loner" is vague at best. But that's where I was coming from in my thinking.
 
Ah there we go. Loners - We like to be alone.

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We like it. Everyone else - nonloners, that is – can't stand to be alone. They squirm. They feel ashamed. They yearn for company when they're alone. They're bored and don't know what to do. They're lonely.

We're not.

Maybe we're not holed up in caves all day, or in submarines like Captain Nemo in his Nautilus. But alone we feel most normal. Most ourselves. Most alive.
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Wyote said:
"A loner is a label for a person who does not actively seek, avoids, or is isolated from human interaction" -wikipedia
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Based on this definition, I would class myself as somewhat of a loner. While I don't mind the company of others from time to time, I mostly prefer to be solitary.

While I may be classed as a loner, I'm definitely not lonely.
 
Yukon said:
I have always been a fairly extreme loner. I have some friends, but I prefer to go for weeks without seeing them, or anyone socially. I lived in
Calgary for a couple of years, and until I ran into an old friend and we went out for drinks, I didn't realise how long it had been since I had a
conversation with anyone. I lost my voice within 30 minutes.

I have a hard time being around people for more than an hour or two,
even family. As for relationships, I've been single for 4 years now. I
don't want to be, but have a very hard time, initiating and maintaining
any kind of relationship. I tend to be secretive. I lived with my last
girlfriend for a while, and it was painful. I am not sure what the
answer is for me. Right now it seems unlikely that I will meet someone
who can, or is willing to understand
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Find yourself an independent, space-loving NT maybe? :noidea:
 
Hm, well since I was a Kid I was always alone. I mean I had no Friends, no real Family and Nothing, so I am habituated to it. I could stay alone for quite a Time, but when I happen to have a Problem or also a new Idea or Something cool happened to me I do like to share. Sometimes I can't, which is okay, but some Interaction from Time to Time is cool. Even if it's only writing a Blog. I like to write those, no Matter if People read them or not. It's more for me personally anyways.

Hm, also I can perfectly stay out of Peoples Life. I mean I am always "helpy" but if I can't that's fine for me. Especially if Someone really pissed me off I can be "cold" like that. But normally this 1. takes quite some time and 2. I always tell People anyways. So yeah.

I guess I am a Loner. Always have been, probably always will be. Personally I often feel out of Place in the World. *shrugs*

Last but not Least I like Creatures like Crows / Ravens, Demons, Reapers, Shadows, Gargoyles etc and if you pay Attention you will notice that those are mostly Things that are somehow connected with Loneliness and Death. Says a lot I guess. Also my usual Nickname; it was made by me out of two Words: Coincidence and Vanitas, which is a Form of Art including exactly those above mentioned two Things. Yup, I am odd.
 
I can and do play the hermit as much as possible.
While I know and am friendly with many and value their friendship It does drain me to be out with more than 4. parties are the worst, the background chatter at times is to much.
 
The word "loner" carries negative connotations for me, but yes, I'm a loner.

I talk to a number of people in various places online every day, but I'm very choosy about who I spend my time with IRL.

I wasn't always this way, I remember in my youth, teens and 20's feeling a desperate need to be with other people, but never feeling comfortable in a group on the occasions I was part of one. Wanted to be invited to the party, hated the party once I got there kind of thing.

I think my aloneness is more of a learned skill based on a deeper understanding of situations I'm more comfortable in built up over time.
 
i keep two or three people close to me - but no more than that, really. everyone else just seems to be a pleasant acquaintance that i don't mind being away from.
 
Ja I'm a loner, I guess. Doesn't mean I don't have friends or can't make friends, I would just rather be by myself. I could go to crazy college parties if I wanted to...but that sort of thing just doesn't appeal to me. My INFP bf likes to go to bars...and yeah, just doesn't appeal to me. It's alright...but meh.

A lot of what you said Zencat, holds true for me too.
 
Ohh, I guess I'm pretty high up on the loner scale. I've always been a bookworm and into my own things, and I've always required a certain amount of distance from people.

There's only one time I felt truly "alone", and that was my last job. I think there was one intuitive in the place, and that intuitive was an extrovert. It was an extrovert-heavy position, and for the first time I felt truly ALONE. It was a weird feeling. Got me a mite depressed, too.
 
Yes, i am one.Able to mix about but i don't fit in so i don't bother because this people won't be the ones who would always stay by me.They go where the wind blows.There are few introverts in the school.At the most there will at least be 8 introverts(that is a kindly given approximately number,could be less).The whole school is then made up of extroverts.Gossip owns them.They call me their friends but i don't agree so.I am often called weird and freaky fringe but i guess i couldn't care but take it as compliment and say thank you.

Sometimes judging can be a gift but if we would to judge everybody then sometimes we would miss the good ones.
 
meiro said:
Sometimes judging can be a gift but if we would to judge everybody then sometimes we would miss the good ones.
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I gave advice very much along these lines to my son, recently. Nicely understood, meiro. It takes some of us a lot longer to figure this out, me for one.
 
I find this kind of intriguing. All of my close friends (3) know that I'm the type that can be extremely outgoing, and then 3 or 4 hours later be reclusive. I never really noticed it until lately. My friends thought I was "mad" or "upset" because I wanted to be alone.. they just don't understand I suppose. I'm the type that frequently takes walks alone..it's really energizing, I think. If you find yourself being snippy or down right rude, go for a walk. It helps.
 
I had something of a hermiting phase for nearly 2 years -- my interactions often centered around friends which would come over once in awhile to game or watch tv and movies, as well as drink and throw house parties. I'd say that 95% of the time though, I was alone.

My house was clean but I had periods of messiness, with neat, peripherally organized stacks of printouts of various articles related to the MBTI, Enneagram, Socionics, HTML, guitar tablature and various other topics of interest.

My interests consisted of reading reading reading, writing, drawing and creating (I achieved a certain type of brilliancy modding a game called Battlezone 2).

During this time I lived mostly inside of my head. I listened to bands like Dream Theatre. I had a cat.

My days were punctuated by various moments: moments of elation, moments of sorrow, moments of lonliness and inner exploration. At times it felt like I was on to something. My introverted intuition would run in the background when I would suddenly be struck by an 'Ah! Hah!' moment. Immediately journaling it, and in some cases posting my findings.

In my head, I played out various dramas and scenarios. There were certain times when the night felt electric, and i would sit outside or walk around the neighborhood and take in the stars, the northern lights, the fires, the smell of the air. There were sunsets that I would watch, strumming away at my guitar.

Of course nothing is ever perfect, I went through terribly depressive phases; times when I wanted to shut everyone out and just be by myself. I spent over a month mourning for an unrequited love which was one of the most painful experiences of my life, but allowed me to experience a certain type of growth. I had brief periods of abject loneliness and despair.

There were times when I felt I was on to something. Times when I felt presence, being. Times when I got out of my head and shut the thinking aspect of my personality, to exist in periods of what seemed like bliss, and at the very edge of sanity -- lucidity, flow. It came once in awhile and it went.

In these states, I would journal -- and since my I was a web designer/developer I placed my journal on my own private forum system that I had running on my computer (the forum works out well for journaling various topics). I wrote about various topics of intellectual interest. When my normal 'thinking' state returned, I felt embarrassed at what I wrote -- and in some cases retracted or withdrew some of the postings I made public. (Years later, I would discover that many of these things were accepted as truths, or had a certain amount of evidence supporting them).

Of course I had my odd little habits. One of the things that I was fascinated by was the martial arts. To me, the martial arts WAS a form of art -- the art of physics, the art of tao. And I spent a lot of time attempting to control the forces of my body to achieve a precise motion based on utilizing existing momentum and flow. At best it was performing katas and studying my physical limits -- at worst I would test out the 'perfect strike' by using the end of a staff to shatter old junky video tapes into several pieces by using a well placed strike which distributed all of the force of motion to the smallest possible area of the stick.

Part of me liked being the part of the eccentric loner. A part of me still desires to disconnect from humanity, right now i'm trying to rid myself of that desire -- but its so difficult, because the social organ atrophies if it is not nurtured.

Overall its an interesting experience, and can affect one in profound ways -- some of them positive and some of them negative.
 
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