love is sacrifice - but to what extent is it right?

[Gaze]

In my view, middle is on to something--the sacrifice of our egos. This may not be really possible in human expression, but perhaps when ego takes a back seat then we are not as concerned about how it should be done or holding up ideals of living perfect love to strive toward. To my view, that striving is very likely to be about building and supporting a sense of ego rather than loving. Maybe if the sacrifice is of our egos then we are freed to truly love and that love finds a natural balance that sustains both.

Agree. If you spend too much time focusing on what you don't want to sacrifice or what you don't want to have to give up, you can miss out on understanding what it means to love someone. I think today, we've come to look at love as being all about us, what we want, need, and should have - a very self centered notion of love, which can get in the way of understanding what love is about ultimately. Love is a verb - it's a thought and action word. If you can't put your needs or desires aside on some level for the person you care about/love, then can it really be love. Real love will always have an element of selflessness, if you truly care about the person.

 

[Norton]

What if simply continuing to be around a person is a sacrifice because they're so self-destructive and toxic? Knowing that you're the only thing keeping this unstable person afloat, can you sever ties with them for your own good, and not feel guilty when they hurt themselves?

Yes. If this is happening, then you are the victim of psychological abuse, manipulation, and narcissism. People are responsible for their own actions and if someone threatens self-harm to keep you captive in a relationship, then this is emotional blackmail of which you should have no part. This is not love.

 

[Galileo]

Oh absolutely it can go too far. I think the point at which you have to start wondering if the relationship is really working for you is the point that those sacrifices start to be halmful to you and your own opportunities.


It's also a 2-way street. one person doing all the sacrificing, even if they are willing isn't necessarily right.