Make a Wish
- Thread starter Ergo Christobal
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bagelriffic
Community Member
- MBTI
- infj
- Enneagram
- 5 sx
^ me too. then i go back and edit edit edit. sometimes i enjoy that more than the writing aspect because i feel as though i am perfecting my piece.
- MBTI
- INFJ
Thanks, me too. He's going to be fine, but he's very active and the weeks without a leg are going to be the real pain. I'm going to be the video game runner ;D
I'm mostly the opposite. I feel like once the creation is complete, I can't work on it. It's like it's not mine anymore. Weird.
- MBTI
- INFJ
Whew. It's been a long day.
The following is basically my day condensed, it's almost like a dramatic soap opera, or a bad comedy. you've been warned.
So I meet my friend and his girlfriend, also a good friend, at the hospital at 11:30am. Let's call them joe and sally, non-specific pronouns are going to make things complicated. We exchange the usual, and make fun of the situation. Everything is going fine. Then I get alone with sally before the parents arrive and she says her and joe are breaking up. So I go "WHAT?" and just then she says that joe's parents don't know. Immediately after that, joe's dad walks in.
they've been dating for four years, and they have seen me go through three girlfriends in that time. It was kinda weird. Anyways, joe ends up requesting that sally signs up to be his registered adult on site and person in charge of getting him home. Joe's dad is pretty pissed, and doesn't attempt to hide it. His mother arrives shortly thereafter, and small talk is exchanged. Then joes leaves to go get prepped for surgery. After a while, they let visitors in one at a time.
Joe's dad walks up to go first, but the nurse calls for sally specifically. She said joe wanted sally, not his dad. Hospital policy and all, sally went in. So i'm outside with joe's parents whom I know very well but are clearly unhappy with joe. we talk, and eventually sally re-emerges. The parents go in, and i'm back alone with sally. she says joe wants her to argue with his parents to let him go home with her, and she doesn't know what to do.
Eventually it's my turn, I just go in and tell him everything's going to be fine and all that. There is one last visiting session before the operation, and sally spends lots of time in there alone with joe. I stay out and end up using the third party objective card to convince them that joe can ride home with sally.
the operation goes smoothly, but when it's done joe is all high on whatever pain meds they used and tries to leave in a hurry. He's not acting himself, and ends up whacking his dad with one of his crutches in anger. joe isn't listening to reason, but we get him to calm down. Joe's dad is crazy pissed, and ends up yelling at joe for acting the way he's acting.
I think it's ridiculous to not only blame someone for their actions while under the influence of anesthesia but to argue with them while they're on it? Well that's what happened. sally went to grab the car, and I'm standing there with a very embarrassed nurse watching joe and his dad yell at each-other, joe clearly not all there.
Eventually we make it back to joe's house, everyone meets up there. Joe by that time has full awareness and recovered from the anesthesia. He doesn't remember most of the past events. His dad won't even look at him. Joe's dad eventually ends up requesting to talk to sally alone, which is rather strange. Me, joe, and joe's sister wait inside before we hear yelling. Joe's dad has blamed sally for the recent events, and is yelling at her. Joe's dad "asks" her to leave, which she promptly does.
I end up stopping her, and we go to my house (right down the street) and wait for things to cool down. we talk plenty more, and sally is in tears. I get her to calm down and tell me details of the breakup. We finally go back to joe's house, and there is no more yelling but just awkward silence in front of the TV. sally ends up going home, apparently for being exhausted. I stay there with joe for a while, before having to leave to go pick up my drunken parents from the casino.
On the way out, I accidentally bump my grandmother's car and scratch some paint. It's not too bad, mostly the scare that a collision gives you was my problem. I also end up bringing the wrong car to the casino, and have to go all the way back, 40min round trip.
Now I'm home, it's 11:30pm.. a whole twelve hours of stress! Bleh. I'm pretty drained.
The following is basically my day condensed, it's almost like a dramatic soap opera, or a bad comedy. you've been warned.
So I meet my friend and his girlfriend, also a good friend, at the hospital at 11:30am. Let's call them joe and sally, non-specific pronouns are going to make things complicated. We exchange the usual, and make fun of the situation. Everything is going fine. Then I get alone with sally before the parents arrive and she says her and joe are breaking up. So I go "WHAT?" and just then she says that joe's parents don't know. Immediately after that, joe's dad walks in.
they've been dating for four years, and they have seen me go through three girlfriends in that time. It was kinda weird. Anyways, joe ends up requesting that sally signs up to be his registered adult on site and person in charge of getting him home. Joe's dad is pretty pissed, and doesn't attempt to hide it. His mother arrives shortly thereafter, and small talk is exchanged. Then joes leaves to go get prepped for surgery. After a while, they let visitors in one at a time.
Joe's dad walks up to go first, but the nurse calls for sally specifically. She said joe wanted sally, not his dad. Hospital policy and all, sally went in. So i'm outside with joe's parents whom I know very well but are clearly unhappy with joe. we talk, and eventually sally re-emerges. The parents go in, and i'm back alone with sally. she says joe wants her to argue with his parents to let him go home with her, and she doesn't know what to do.
Eventually it's my turn, I just go in and tell him everything's going to be fine and all that. There is one last visiting session before the operation, and sally spends lots of time in there alone with joe. I stay out and end up using the third party objective card to convince them that joe can ride home with sally.
the operation goes smoothly, but when it's done joe is all high on whatever pain meds they used and tries to leave in a hurry. He's not acting himself, and ends up whacking his dad with one of his crutches in anger. joe isn't listening to reason, but we get him to calm down. Joe's dad is crazy pissed, and ends up yelling at joe for acting the way he's acting.
I think it's ridiculous to not only blame someone for their actions while under the influence of anesthesia but to argue with them while they're on it? Well that's what happened. sally went to grab the car, and I'm standing there with a very embarrassed nurse watching joe and his dad yell at each-other, joe clearly not all there.
Eventually we make it back to joe's house, everyone meets up there. Joe by that time has full awareness and recovered from the anesthesia. He doesn't remember most of the past events. His dad won't even look at him. Joe's dad eventually ends up requesting to talk to sally alone, which is rather strange. Me, joe, and joe's sister wait inside before we hear yelling. Joe's dad has blamed sally for the recent events, and is yelling at her. Joe's dad "asks" her to leave, which she promptly does.
I end up stopping her, and we go to my house (right down the street) and wait for things to cool down. we talk plenty more, and sally is in tears. I get her to calm down and tell me details of the breakup. We finally go back to joe's house, and there is no more yelling but just awkward silence in front of the TV. sally ends up going home, apparently for being exhausted. I stay there with joe for a while, before having to leave to go pick up my drunken parents from the casino.
On the way out, I accidentally bump my grandmother's car and scratch some paint. It's not too bad, mostly the scare that a collision gives you was my problem. I also end up bringing the wrong car to the casino, and have to go all the way back, 40min round trip.
Now I'm home, it's 11:30pm.. a whole twelve hours of stress! Bleh. I'm pretty drained.
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- MBTI
- INFJ
Still feeling a bit strange. A mix of sadness, but something else too. I've had so much go on in the last few days, it went from nothing interesting to so much I can't hardly stand it. I haven't written any of my ideas down for awhile, I've not felt too keen on writing anything except that last poem. Well, I got something now that I might as well share.
Here is a little technique I invented* a long time ago, I use it to find something to write or look for inspiration. I don't really have a name for it, but basically it's an imagination exercise. All that is required is a place to sit, and a clear head. Not the easiest things to do...
*thought of the idea separately from outside influence
So you sit and close your eyes. Then, build a mental image of everything around you. Reconstruct the room, the building, or wherever you are. Be able to move the image around, see yourself sitting there, and explore the room in your mind's eye. Then, go outside. Just move your POV from the room to an adjacent area. Go anywhere. Build up from that, reconstruct your whole neighborhood in your head. Zoom out further and further, take yourself on a whim down any street, then envision what would be there.
Go find a specific object, follow a path to a specific place, and do something there. Build more detail, examine every inch of wherever you try to explore.
Me and a friend who was having trouble writing did this, we sat in a room and built our town. She wasn't too imaginative, I kinda guided the whole thing. We eventually went to target, which was easy to replicate in our minds because we has been there so much. We then proceeded to break in ans steal various items, me narrating the experience. It was fun.
You might even feel like you're actually there, and you might find something interesting. What's really interesting is that whatever you find was already in your head, you just had to look.
Here is a little technique I invented* a long time ago, I use it to find something to write or look for inspiration. I don't really have a name for it, but basically it's an imagination exercise. All that is required is a place to sit, and a clear head. Not the easiest things to do...
*thought of the idea separately from outside influence
So you sit and close your eyes. Then, build a mental image of everything around you. Reconstruct the room, the building, or wherever you are. Be able to move the image around, see yourself sitting there, and explore the room in your mind's eye. Then, go outside. Just move your POV from the room to an adjacent area. Go anywhere. Build up from that, reconstruct your whole neighborhood in your head. Zoom out further and further, take yourself on a whim down any street, then envision what would be there.
Go find a specific object, follow a path to a specific place, and do something there. Build more detail, examine every inch of wherever you try to explore.
Me and a friend who was having trouble writing did this, we sat in a room and built our town. She wasn't too imaginative, I kinda guided the whole thing. We eventually went to target, which was easy to replicate in our minds because we has been there so much. We then proceeded to break in ans steal various items, me narrating the experience. It was fun.
You might even feel like you're actually there, and you might find something interesting. What's really interesting is that whatever you find was already in your head, you just had to look.
- MBTI
- INFJ
I just finished reading an entire webcomic, it's amazing. I feel like it has renewed my hope in finding that "perfect" girl. Since having a few shitty relationships, with people that I maybe shouldn't have been with I got to thinking. In the beginning, I was a total nerd. I didn't talk to any girls, I didn't think about romantic relationships, I just existed independently. Well, I'm still a total nerd, but it's different.
So then high school happened and I basically fell for every pretty face who got the courage to ask me out. These relationships were pretty dang awesome, but they sucked too. Especially at the end, I began to realize that they loved me more than I loved them. After that, I became selective.
I for once wanted to date someone who I really really wanted to date. Not just be happy because someone likes me, but to chase after someone. I want to want someone so bad I'll be sick. I'm also pickier now, I guess. I want someone who is smart for a change, not some ditsy down-to-earth person who's never thought about the bigger things in life. I want to bump heads with someone above the clouds.
This brings me to the comic. It stars just such a person, who is also just as romantically hopeless as I am. I had sorta given up, I went into passive search mode. I stopped caring as much, even though it's one of the most important things to me. Maybe I'm lying to myself. This one comic made me care again, it made me want to keep looking. It put me back into the hopeless romantic category. It's weird, but I like it here.
It's kinda like romantic limbo is the best place to fins someone else in romantic limbo, but a sad place to be, especially if you're the 5th wheel in a group of close friends that are all over each other.
The really sad thing is that a totally attractive and intelligent girl approximately my age who is also in romantic limbo showed me the comic. I would totally date her, but she's hard to be around. In conversation, she'll often interrupt with jokes I sometimes don't understand. She's also from a very different cultural niche than I, we don't really relate.
So the only girl that's intelligent and witty enough for my unfairly high standards is un-date-able for minor personality traits. Oh, and the other candidate is currently part of the friendship vehicle's back wheels of which I am the 5th.
I'm whining too much, I think. Just got to go back to "not caring as much mode" eh? Also I need to stop reading Dresden Codak and getting my hopes up.
So then high school happened and I basically fell for every pretty face who got the courage to ask me out. These relationships were pretty dang awesome, but they sucked too. Especially at the end, I began to realize that they loved me more than I loved them. After that, I became selective.
I for once wanted to date someone who I really really wanted to date. Not just be happy because someone likes me, but to chase after someone. I want to want someone so bad I'll be sick. I'm also pickier now, I guess. I want someone who is smart for a change, not some ditsy down-to-earth person who's never thought about the bigger things in life. I want to bump heads with someone above the clouds.
This brings me to the comic. It stars just such a person, who is also just as romantically hopeless as I am. I had sorta given up, I went into passive search mode. I stopped caring as much, even though it's one of the most important things to me. Maybe I'm lying to myself. This one comic made me care again, it made me want to keep looking. It put me back into the hopeless romantic category. It's weird, but I like it here.
It's kinda like romantic limbo is the best place to fins someone else in romantic limbo, but a sad place to be, especially if you're the 5th wheel in a group of close friends that are all over each other.
The really sad thing is that a totally attractive and intelligent girl approximately my age who is also in romantic limbo showed me the comic. I would totally date her, but she's hard to be around. In conversation, she'll often interrupt with jokes I sometimes don't understand. She's also from a very different cultural niche than I, we don't really relate.
So the only girl that's intelligent and witty enough for my unfairly high standards is un-date-able for minor personality traits. Oh, and the other candidate is currently part of the friendship vehicle's back wheels of which I am the 5th.
I'm whining too much, I think. Just got to go back to "not caring as much mode" eh? Also I need to stop reading Dresden Codak and getting my hopes up.
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- MBTI
- INFJ
Thing is, I usually end up convincing myself that the flaws are okay. This is a good thing if you're with anyone, but if you're with a crazy person and start to try and see how you can "live with" the crazy, is where I go wrong.
I think people should like people for their strengths, and love them for their weaknesses. But at the same time, people shouldn't settle for a second-rate partner just because you don't think it gets any better.
I'm try pretty hard not to judge people at face value, and I usually don't care unless they're really strange or really shallow. I'm at the point now where I'll reject someone right off the bat if I'm afraid I'll get trapped into a relationship again where it's impossible to break up with someone.
I feel like I'm just rambling... I'm waiting for a chance to go to sleep. Everyone is walking around the living room and talking. Maybe they're unaware of my obvious sleeping area on the couch. It's my relatives, they spend an hour keeping me up in the living room to tell me they're sorry for taking my bed. I'm fine with the couch, it's comfy. Let me sleep.
I think people should like people for their strengths, and love them for their weaknesses. But at the same time, people shouldn't settle for a second-rate partner just because you don't think it gets any better.
I'm try pretty hard not to judge people at face value, and I usually don't care unless they're really strange or really shallow. I'm at the point now where I'll reject someone right off the bat if I'm afraid I'll get trapped into a relationship again where it's impossible to break up with someone.
I feel like I'm just rambling... I'm waiting for a chance to go to sleep. Everyone is walking around the living room and talking. Maybe they're unaware of my obvious sleeping area on the couch. It's my relatives, they spend an hour keeping me up in the living room to tell me they're sorry for taking my bed. I'm fine with the couch, it's comfy. Let me sleep.
Melkor
Madman with a cause
- MBTI
- INTP
- Enneagram
- >.>
I wish everyone in this forum died in a single grease fire around about the same time and in one place.
I also wish that just before that we had one helluva an orgy in which everyone abandoned their sexuality for seven hours and things got out of hand...
Hence the grease fire...
I also wish that just before that we had one helluva an orgy in which everyone abandoned their sexuality for seven hours and things got out of hand...
Hence the grease fire...
- MBTI
- INFJ
Ozymandias
A bit more blogging.
My grandmother is probably going to die soon. I know this, she knows this, my family knows this, and even though she has no major health problems it is clear that her lifestyle is soon going to get the best of her.
The weird thing is, I'm not sad. I think of her dead, and I know her and care about her plenty. She can get on my nerves, but she's family. I just seem to have come to terms with her dieing already. It's very strange. I see her sitting in her chair and my mind wanders to what that chair will look like when nobody sits in it anymore. I think about my future self, remembering the image of her in her chair.
I don't even feel guilty about this, and I know she would understand. I like to believe there is some life after death, or at least peace. This has also got me thinking of my own mortality. Today I was observing my backyard and realizing that everything I see will someday pass into nothingness. The trees, the rocks, the people I talked to today... and of course me. Everything dies, and I think I'm alright with that.
Here's one of my favorite poems, it's relevant:
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
----------------------------------------------------
Somber day for me.
A bit more blogging.
My grandmother is probably going to die soon. I know this, she knows this, my family knows this, and even though she has no major health problems it is clear that her lifestyle is soon going to get the best of her.
The weird thing is, I'm not sad. I think of her dead, and I know her and care about her plenty. She can get on my nerves, but she's family. I just seem to have come to terms with her dieing already. It's very strange. I see her sitting in her chair and my mind wanders to what that chair will look like when nobody sits in it anymore. I think about my future self, remembering the image of her in her chair.
I don't even feel guilty about this, and I know she would understand. I like to believe there is some life after death, or at least peace. This has also got me thinking of my own mortality. Today I was observing my backyard and realizing that everything I see will someday pass into nothingness. The trees, the rocks, the people I talked to today... and of course me. Everything dies, and I think I'm alright with that.
Here's one of my favorite poems, it's relevant:
OZYMANDIAS
By Percy Bysshe Shelly (1792-1822)
By Percy Bysshe Shelly (1792-1822)
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
----------------------------------------------------
Somber day for me.
- MBTI
- INFJ
Tomorrow I turn 20. Half of my life has been sorta wasted, or at least forgotten. Even the second half seems empty, the friends I've made have come and gone and will soon go even further when we're all done with college. I'm scared. I won't be a teenager anymore. This is the first birthday that I'm really not looking forward to. On top of that, my main friends have sorta ditched me to celebrate a monthly anniversary in California. I'm sorta bitter about it, but it's all good I guess. There's not much to celebrate over here I s'pose. Hopefully my other friend circles will be available for merrymaking.
I'm also working tomorrow, I haven't had so many back-to-back work days in a while. I haven't had 9-hour work days in a while either. So I'm going to go through work and hopefully go see Robin Hood with a good friend.
This site is interesting. I feel compelled to blog random crap, knowing full well that it gives me no progress to these issues. I guess it just feels good to get it all out. Some part of me wonders if my friends will ever read any of this, if anyone will. Not sure if I want them to, but if I didn't then I could just make an anonymous livejournal, couldn't I?
Another year older, another summer scrounging for friends that haven't gone on vacation. Four hours and my teenage years are over.
I'm also working tomorrow, I haven't had so many back-to-back work days in a while. I haven't had 9-hour work days in a while either. So I'm going to go through work and hopefully go see Robin Hood with a good friend.
This site is interesting. I feel compelled to blog random crap, knowing full well that it gives me no progress to these issues. I guess it just feels good to get it all out. Some part of me wonders if my friends will ever read any of this, if anyone will. Not sure if I want them to, but if I didn't then I could just make an anonymous livejournal, couldn't I?
Another year older, another summer scrounging for friends that haven't gone on vacation. Four hours and my teenage years are over.
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- ▲
- Enneagram
- ▼
I wish that melkor's wish never comes true.
- MBTI
- INFJ
As do I.
I wonder if this thread will get turned into a place for people to actually make wishes. The title suggests it should, I say go for it! In the meantime, I shall blog and distribute brain crack.
With all these musings on my own mortality, I've been thinking of what would happen after. It would be totally awesome if I could enlist in some angelic service program where I pay off some purgatory time with helping the living back on earth. I'd do it without pay, but hey if I have to spend any time in any hell, assuming there is one, I would hope that the goal is reformation. If there is a hell, it's probably nicer anyways. Anyways, I've been thinking about the fact that there may very well be a program like that, and people who enlist eventually go back to being human. What Dreams May Come style.
If that's true, then there are angels walking amongst us who have been trained in the art of helping lost souls, but have no memory of any of it. It's like their instincts are still there even though they can't explain it. Sound familiar to anyone? This is what I think about while reading house of leaves and staying up all night.
A few days ago I came up with a decent story premise. It begins with the protagonist dieing, but to them it appears as if they survived the death. They go about their lives, not noticing anything. BUT they use their cell phone to contact a friend, and the text goes through to the realm of the living. The friend is at the deceased's funeral, and gets an oblivious text from their supposedly dead friend. Both parties realize whats going on, and... that's as far as I got.
Happy wishing and dumping everyone!
- MBTI
- INFJ
I think I found a new church. Unitarian Universalists. Apparently they're a conglomerate of other religions and they don't tolerate the stupidity of normal organized religion. My kinda thing.
Heard about them a long time ago, then saw a pamphlet for them at my work today. I'm going to try and go to a service this weekend, and probably not tell my parents.
It's pretty cool stuff. In other news, I'm going to go insane with the 7-day work week, 4 of the days being 9-hour days. Next week it'll be 5 consecutive 9-hour days, mixed with the usual family business.
At least I'm getting paid
Heard about them a long time ago, then saw a pamphlet for them at my work today. I'm going to try and go to a service this weekend, and probably not tell my parents.
It's pretty cool stuff. In other news, I'm going to go insane with the 7-day work week, 4 of the days being 9-hour days. Next week it'll be 5 consecutive 9-hour days, mixed with the usual family business.
At least I'm getting paid
- MBTI
- INFJ
Haven't been back here in quite some time. I've been pretty busy with work, and friend-time. A bit of a whirlwind of events. For a few days in a row, I would wake up, work, get back, sleep, wake up for dinner, then stay up till midnight-2am doing close to nothing. I don't even really remember what I was doing. Certainly nothing productive.
Besides work, I've got a decent D&D group put together. It's a bit strange because I'm the oldest by a long shot, and they're all my friends from high school... but they're still in high school. I'm not ashamed of hanging out with them, but I just don't click on their level. they're also part of a different crowd, or at least their crowd succeeded the crowd that made fun of my crowd.
But they enjoy D&D, and they're intelligent. Just weird being the old one, I guess. Now they're addicted, and we try and meet once every few days.
In other news, the girl whom I'm pretty attracted to is getting to be pretty darn attractive. I don't think she knows I'm attracted to her, as I wasn't for a long time. I feel bad for this, and now the situation is reversed. Luckily, it can never work so I'm not tempted to start anything. I just want summer to be over.
On the female front, there is another little battle. I'll go ahead and say it: I signed up on Eharmony. It was a terrible idea, and I still regret it. I had always been curious, but never went through it out of shame.
"Where'd you and mommy meet, dad?"
"The internet, sweety."
But I finally lost hope and gave in, at least to see who it matched me up with. I wasn't surprised when it started asking for money before I was allowed to do anything, including talk to my matches. Heck, I couldn't even see their picture. But I found a way to cheat the system.
Eharmony Bot will clean out any personal information that includes contact info, and I figured it was based off of a few key-word red flags. So instead of email, put electronic post office. Instead of hotmail, put temperate postage.
My plan to fool the Eharmony bot worked, and I got an email from someone. We've been talking back and forth for a few weeks, and it's kinda weird. I'm totally guilty of internet stalking her, in a way. I don't really count it as invasive if the person uses the same user name on every account they make.
Long story short is that I've found out plenty of things about her (mainly her poor internet information security skills) and she still knows little about me. It's amazing what you can find on google. Or it's quite possible that she's got some dirt on me too, but none of my really personal sites have repeat user names or emails. Like here.
I'm not really sure what to make of the whole thing. I guess I'll find out next semester, because she goes to my school. Could be very very weird. I just hope that she's not head-over-heels for me when I'm not for her, I hate that. We'll just have to see.
And now for other girl troubles. My best friend, who is also a female, is getting a bit distant. I drove 7 hours out here to California to see her, and the first thing she does is pop in a movie and play video games while I watch it. I also appears that she's less sensitive to my emotions, she used to be able to sense when something was wrong. One of the reasons I came out here was to help her get through some depression over her and her boyfriend. Now I think it's going to be time for us to make amends.
There are fewer and fewer things to look forward to, until school starts again. I'll be away from all this and taking classes that are awesome. I can't wait! For now, I think I'll read a bit and wait for my best friend to get off of work.
Thanks for reading, I'll try to come up with some cool ideas instead of pure ranting for next time.
Besides work, I've got a decent D&D group put together. It's a bit strange because I'm the oldest by a long shot, and they're all my friends from high school... but they're still in high school. I'm not ashamed of hanging out with them, but I just don't click on their level. they're also part of a different crowd, or at least their crowd succeeded the crowd that made fun of my crowd.
But they enjoy D&D, and they're intelligent. Just weird being the old one, I guess. Now they're addicted, and we try and meet once every few days.
In other news, the girl whom I'm pretty attracted to is getting to be pretty darn attractive. I don't think she knows I'm attracted to her, as I wasn't for a long time. I feel bad for this, and now the situation is reversed. Luckily, it can never work so I'm not tempted to start anything. I just want summer to be over.
On the female front, there is another little battle. I'll go ahead and say it: I signed up on Eharmony. It was a terrible idea, and I still regret it. I had always been curious, but never went through it out of shame.
"Where'd you and mommy meet, dad?"
"The internet, sweety."
But I finally lost hope and gave in, at least to see who it matched me up with. I wasn't surprised when it started asking for money before I was allowed to do anything, including talk to my matches. Heck, I couldn't even see their picture. But I found a way to cheat the system.
Eharmony Bot will clean out any personal information that includes contact info, and I figured it was based off of a few key-word red flags. So instead of email, put electronic post office. Instead of hotmail, put temperate postage.
My plan to fool the Eharmony bot worked, and I got an email from someone. We've been talking back and forth for a few weeks, and it's kinda weird. I'm totally guilty of internet stalking her, in a way. I don't really count it as invasive if the person uses the same user name on every account they make.
Long story short is that I've found out plenty of things about her (mainly her poor internet information security skills) and she still knows little about me. It's amazing what you can find on google. Or it's quite possible that she's got some dirt on me too, but none of my really personal sites have repeat user names or emails. Like here.
I'm not really sure what to make of the whole thing. I guess I'll find out next semester, because she goes to my school. Could be very very weird. I just hope that she's not head-over-heels for me when I'm not for her, I hate that. We'll just have to see.
And now for other girl troubles. My best friend, who is also a female, is getting a bit distant. I drove 7 hours out here to California to see her, and the first thing she does is pop in a movie and play video games while I watch it. I also appears that she's less sensitive to my emotions, she used to be able to sense when something was wrong. One of the reasons I came out here was to help her get through some depression over her and her boyfriend. Now I think it's going to be time for us to make amends.
There are fewer and fewer things to look forward to, until school starts again. I'll be away from all this and taking classes that are awesome. I can't wait! For now, I think I'll read a bit and wait for my best friend to get off of work.
Thanks for reading, I'll try to come up with some cool ideas instead of pure ranting for next time.
- MBTI
- INFJ
For those of you just tuning in, this is my interesting idea thread that turned into my blog.
So after much emotional and physical ambiguity, there is finally closure between me and a girl I stopped dating a long time ago. It was delivered in a rather plain way, and though it was quick I might say it hurt pretty bad.
She had previously kissed me on the lips, in a rather surprising way that I kinda shrugged off. Later that day, she got into a pretty bad mood from something I said about my friend disliking her. We also got into an argument about the nature and importance of stories to people. We left on horrible terms, with her driving me home for 45mins and not saying a word. Most awkward, or at least tense, experience I've ever had.
We didn't talk for quite some time, just a few texts here and there. I began to get the feeling that she had either a dislike or disinterest in me. But if so, why keep up the contact?
She eventually IM'd me on facebook, and I decided to confront her with the resent confusion I had with how she felt about me, and why she was being so mean. She opened up with a passive-aggressive comment but she was honest, and said that she just couldn't relate to me. I accepted this, and asked for further reasons.
She said that I had no self-worth, and that I was condescending. I asked her why she thought that, and that I thought it was completely untrue. She replied saying that I cannot tell her something she perceives is false. She apologized, and I told her not to. She said that was part of the problem, nothing phases me. I said the condescending thing hurt, and it did. She thought that comment was ironic.
We left facebook on bad terms, with her saying she doesn't want to talk to me and me not really saying anything. What she said really got to me.
I knew it to be false. But something kept making me think that I was in fact being condescending. The self-worth thing I don't really understand. They both keep eating at me. The people who really know me have told me that I'm not, but they're my friends so who knows...
It makes me a bit angry because she calls me condescending after a history of passive-aggressive comments about me. Those never felt very good. I'm not going to talk to her anymore though, I've had enough.
In other news, I recently discovered that my best friend is having dreams about me. Inappropriate dreams where she cheats on her boyfriend and my roommate with me. Not very healthy, and she doesn't know that I know. I could play it off and ask her, saying it's my psychic powers again. I actually already guessed as much, it was just one more informant that let me know. I'll probably just hope for it to go away.
I've received multiple solicitations from dating sites, so that's good I guess. I'm not really interested in too many of them, but hey it's just the internet. Hopefully in a month I'll have stopped and gone back into the real life.
I write these because it makes me feel better after I'm done. Writing or typing it down gets it out. I don't like hand-writing sometimes so here it is. Read it or don't.
So after much emotional and physical ambiguity, there is finally closure between me and a girl I stopped dating a long time ago. It was delivered in a rather plain way, and though it was quick I might say it hurt pretty bad.
She had previously kissed me on the lips, in a rather surprising way that I kinda shrugged off. Later that day, she got into a pretty bad mood from something I said about my friend disliking her. We also got into an argument about the nature and importance of stories to people. We left on horrible terms, with her driving me home for 45mins and not saying a word. Most awkward, or at least tense, experience I've ever had.
We didn't talk for quite some time, just a few texts here and there. I began to get the feeling that she had either a dislike or disinterest in me. But if so, why keep up the contact?
She eventually IM'd me on facebook, and I decided to confront her with the resent confusion I had with how she felt about me, and why she was being so mean. She opened up with a passive-aggressive comment but she was honest, and said that she just couldn't relate to me. I accepted this, and asked for further reasons.
She said that I had no self-worth, and that I was condescending. I asked her why she thought that, and that I thought it was completely untrue. She replied saying that I cannot tell her something she perceives is false. She apologized, and I told her not to. She said that was part of the problem, nothing phases me. I said the condescending thing hurt, and it did. She thought that comment was ironic.
We left facebook on bad terms, with her saying she doesn't want to talk to me and me not really saying anything. What she said really got to me.
I knew it to be false. But something kept making me think that I was in fact being condescending. The self-worth thing I don't really understand. They both keep eating at me. The people who really know me have told me that I'm not, but they're my friends so who knows...
It makes me a bit angry because she calls me condescending after a history of passive-aggressive comments about me. Those never felt very good. I'm not going to talk to her anymore though, I've had enough.
In other news, I recently discovered that my best friend is having dreams about me. Inappropriate dreams where she cheats on her boyfriend and my roommate with me. Not very healthy, and she doesn't know that I know. I could play it off and ask her, saying it's my psychic powers again. I actually already guessed as much, it was just one more informant that let me know. I'll probably just hope for it to go away.
I've received multiple solicitations from dating sites, so that's good I guess. I'm not really interested in too many of them, but hey it's just the internet. Hopefully in a month I'll have stopped and gone back into the real life.
I write these because it makes me feel better after I'm done. Writing or typing it down gets it out. I don't like hand-writing sometimes so here it is. Read it or don't.