Martyr Complex

[sassafras]

To me, somebody with a martyr complex is two skips away from playing victim. Some people can't tell the difference. When a martyr starts to complain about being a martyr, or when they try to demonstrate their martyrness as a badge of their excellence or purity of heart, I get really, really annoyed. There's no real reason why you should suffer for the sins of others--and when I say "sins", I mean that tongue in cheek. I think very few of us are fighting to defend some sort of grand, justice-related ideal. Many of us are martyrs by proxy because we don't want to deal with the conflict of standing up for ourselves, so we suffer in silence rather than provoke the negative consequences of asserting ourselves.

My grandmother used to be this brand of martyr. It irritated the crap out of me. I hope I never, ever do this.

I think we can be good and help others without having to stretch our dignity too thin.

 

[midnightmelody]

I'm not a martyr.

I will sacrifice my needs from someone else's, yes, but I'm not completely pious all of the time. My f can be pretty low at times, especially if I'm being "pragmatic Christina."

I think my giving-and-taking has been pretty balanced lately.

And agreed, TDHT.

edit: Oh, and in my defense, full-IB is stealing my soul.

 

[Celsius100]

To me, somebody with a martyr complex is two skips away from playing victim. Some people can't tell the difference. When a martyr starts to complain about being a martyr, or when they try to demonstrate their martyrness as a badge of their excellence or purity of heart, I get really, really annoyed. There's no real reason why you should suffer for the sins of others--and when I say "sins", I mean that tongue in cheek. I think very few of us are fighting to defend some sort of grand, justice-related ideal. Many of us are martyrs by proxy because we don't want to deal with the conflict of standing up for ourselves, so we suffer in silence rather than assert ourselves.

My grandmother used to be this brand of martyr. It irritated the crap out of me. I hope I never, ever do this.

I think we can be good and help others without having to stretch our dignity too thin.

Sorry if I was coming off that way, especially since the last thing I'd like to do starting up here is annoy anyone. That said, I can definitely agree that in complaining about it I was definitely whining a bit more than I should. The heads-up is appreciated.

 

[bamf]

I genuinely care about other people, and will go out of my way to help complete strangers even if it makes difficulties for me. However, I am extremely self-cautious and will do anything in my power not to be taken advantage of. I'm willing to help anyone once and then judge their reactions/actions and go from there. I will (and have) stand up for my morals/perceptions of right and wrong, and I'd be willing to die for a cause I see worthy. That however is not to say that I'd die for anything and everything. It's easy to sit here and say that I'd have no qualms risking myself for the benefit of someone else, but I've never actually been in that situation. I'd like to think that I wouldn't think twice about myself in such a situation. I also think that I can do much more good being alive, then being dead. Dying for a cause would have to be an extreme situation that I believed completely in, and I would have to make sure I wasn't doing it for fame/recognition.

I don't see myself as a martyr, nor would I like to be. I'd rather just be a good, helpful person.

 

[sassafras]

Sorry if I was coming off that way, especially since the last thing I'd like to do starting up here is annoy anyone. That said, I can definitely agree that in complaining about it I was definitely whining a bit more than I should. The heads-up is appreciated.

Oh I wasn't singling anyone out here, so I apologize if you felt that I was pointing you out somehow. I was responding solely to the OP and chiefly talking about my experiences with my grandmother. I thought I would've made that clear in my post...

 

[Celsius100]

Oh I wasn't singling anyone out here, so I apologize if you felt that I was pointing you out somehow. I was responding solely to the OP and chiefly talking about my experiences with my grandmother. I thought I would've made that clear in my post...

No, your post was fine. I just kinda zoned for a bit and wasn't quite thinking. Sorry about that!