Here's how I informally described the functions to one of my friends. I see you've had a good number of posts explaining other stuff, so... here! I'm obviously impartial towards Ni.
N: Abstractness
Ni - Great insights out of nowhere, a great sea of awesome
Ne - Ever more and more random tangents, somehow linked (however loosely)
T: Rationality
Ti - Ever more and more refined definitions of everyanything
Te - Imposing order on everyanything, laws, theories, and structures
F: Moral Right
Fi - A complex system of internal values, hard to define or pin down
Fe - A moral compass based on social feedback, requires balancing of influences
S: Concreteness
Si - An extensive catalogue of past events and sensations, pull a previously learned fact out of nowhere
Se - Enraptured by the five senses, great perception of the present
Let me know if any of you guys have refinements, because this basically represents my personal view of the functions atm.
Edit: Wow, just read the rest of the thread I blatantly posted over. I'm not so sure my post is relevant anymore, haha! You guys are funny.