John K
Donor
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 5W4 549
I’ve been married for 45 years and have known my wife for 50. Thank the gods I haven’t had to fret over all this stuff for a long, long time. Blessed freedom!
A few thoughts.
The contents of a long-haul relationship don’t look anything like what it says on the wrapper, but you don’t really know this for about 5 years, and that’s only the start. I don’t believe in instant real/realistic love, and if you are looking for a lifetime soulmate rather than a quick fix relationship then remember we all start to sag a bit after a while, and good looks and youthful “attitude” don’t last that long for many of us even if we start off with them.
I was hopeless at picking up courage to ask girls out when I was young – the old fear of rejection. But I made a lot of friends of both sexes when I went to uni. I loved having women as friends rather than only as dates / potential mates (still do), and my relationships always started off that way – it was usually months into a friendship before I started dating someone, by which time we knew each other pretty well. Surprising how initial physical impressions becomes a lot less important when you get to know someone reasonably well before dating.
A few thoughts.
The contents of a long-haul relationship don’t look anything like what it says on the wrapper, but you don’t really know this for about 5 years, and that’s only the start. I don’t believe in instant real/realistic love, and if you are looking for a lifetime soulmate rather than a quick fix relationship then remember we all start to sag a bit after a while, and good looks and youthful “attitude” don’t last that long for many of us even if we start off with them.
I was hopeless at picking up courage to ask girls out when I was young – the old fear of rejection. But I made a lot of friends of both sexes when I went to uni. I loved having women as friends rather than only as dates / potential mates (still do), and my relationships always started off that way – it was usually months into a friendship before I started dating someone, by which time we knew each other pretty well. Surprising how initial physical impressions becomes a lot less important when you get to know someone reasonably well before dating.