Tin Man
"a respectable amount of screaming"
- MBTI
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- N
So it’s been a while since I have provided any narrative on my life…I don’t really care who reads this or not, it’s therapeutic and cathartic for me to purge.
I’m in Limbo.
That’s where I feel I am…feeling way better in terms of everything besides the pain…I can appreciate the lessons that pain teaches us in our lives….and maybe I’m supposed to be even more empathetic of a person than I am now, which is more than your average person I think being an INFJ?
Limbo because I’m still not totally healed (probably never TOTALLY healed) enough to feel productive and contributory.
So then…perhaps patience is the lesson? Or is the lesson to grit my teeth and hurt myself daily like I did in Surgery? Just to fight it until I’m on the floor.
Because in some weird way, I felt better than I do now because I was helping people…directly helping people.
I’ve found it very difficult this past week or so to meditate, to relax, to even just sit and read, to feel satiated and satisfied with anything.
I feel disconnected and nothing I try to do to reconnect to my life, this world, the earth, the source seems to work.
I know it’s a passing thing…still...
Have you ever thought of doing charity work. There's plenty of ways to fulfill that need to help people without putting your body at risk.
You mentioned teaching before and I know you'd consider it giving in to your bodily limitations, but I think you'd be fantastic at it. I imagine it would really bring a new perspective to many students. It would also be a challenge, the kind that might redirect your thoughts away from the pain.