Millionaire Matchmaker gets politically incorrect.

[barbad0s]

Not to mention people self-reporting IQ and getting caught up about it gives about the same impact and credibility as self-reporting penis size.

 

[DevilDoll]

Since my goal is to marry, I only date men who are looking to marry. What would we know about each other in six years that we wouldn't already know in a year?

I'd actually prefer a shidduch. This is where your family, religious community, and/or matchmaker have your "list" of what you are looking for in a spouse, and they only set you up with someone who meets your criteria. So, I'd know before I even met him that he was emotionally balanced, has a stable career, wants a Jewish home, is done having kids, etc. The ONLY thing that *I* need to worry about is whether we have chemistry. The unofficial "rules" of a shidduch is that you will know by the third date whether there is sexual attraction. If not, you stop seeing each other immediately, so as to not waste each others time. If you ARE attracted to each other, then you enter into an engagement that only lasts long enough to plan the wedding. Now that may or may not be YOUR bag of tricks; it is VERY attractive to me. Couples in shidduch marraiges have a divorce rate down in the single digits, and are very happy.

If that is what you want, then more power to you. But I have realized that no matter how long you date someone you won't truly know them until you live with them. Going on dates and waking up next to each other every morning day after day are two different things. I wouldn't take a ring from someone I hadn't slept with, lived with, and known for several years. On dates people are inclined to lie and attempt to impress their date. That eventually wears off once the relation gets to a "comfy" stage. I want to know the person in a comfortable and honest atmosphere before I make that kind of commitment, and even then i am not so sure I would. But then again, my goal is not to be married. My goal is to be happy with someone I truly love. I could care less about rings or certificates binding us together. I appreciate the symbolism, I suppose. I just don't need it to make the commitment.

And even if that is what I wanted, I don't think I would leave someone I really cared about because they didn't. Not if they made me happy, anyway.

 

[GracieRuth]

But I have realized that no matter how long you date someone you won't truly know them until you live with them.

Stasticis have that people behave DIFFERENTLY when they are cohabiting than when they are married, so cohabiting is NOT a good strategy for "trying out" what marriage would be. Also, statisitically, the odds of abuse are much higher in a cohabiting relationship than in marriage. Anyone with an eye for the numbers is going to choose against cohabitation.

But then again, my goal is not to be married. My goal is to be happy with someone I truly love. I could care less about rings or certificates binding us together. I appreciate the symbolism, I suppose. I just don't need it to make the commitment.

Well here you are at least being honest. And that's why I say that if X wants to marry and Y hasn't proposed inside a year, to realize Y doesn't want to marry. Break it off and move on.