misconceptions about guys/men and love

[myungpetrucci]

Girls dont like nice-guys, trust me on this...

Not that I haven't noticed yet, but I don't want to pretend something I am not(Neither am I good at acting/pretending). As much as I remember I've been nice to girls ever since kindergarten(no snack stealing, or snowballs throwing). It is difficult to change. So I will continue like this and hope, that some day the world changes instead of me

Thats why I suggest an attitude shift away from wanting girls to wanting status and experience and doing you.

Easier said than done. But I am on a good way to some status. This year I am finishing my bachelor's degree in computer science, and already working in a successful company. So status will not be a problem after I finish school, just now the time is scarce.

 

[Vict]

do your thing and the people will want to be a part of it

Agreed.

Age is a big help, ultimately. And experience. You become more certain of who you are and it shows.

 

[Vict]

In response to the OP: men behave differently toward women or relationships. In that sense anything can be a misconception.

 

[Gaze]

In response to the OP: men behave differently toward women or relationships. In that sense anything can be a misconception.

Could you explain?

 

[Vict]

Meaning one man behaves one way, the next man behaves another way. Meaning their response to individual people and situations can vary.

 

[acd]

No no no.. Women love legitimately nice men.
I adore kind, sensitive, and nurturing men...
Not to be confused with the doormat trope "alphas" are so hung up on not being seen as...not the manipulative martyr "the world owes me chicks" kind..but someone who is well rounded and secure in themselves..
There really isn't anything hotter than a guy who is caring and genuine and kind and able to handle himself and be a strong person.
mmmm..

 

[Gaze]

Yes, someone who is genuinely caring and honest is a great find. Not someone who is nice just to get into your pants. The nice guys many women may not like is those who are manipulatively nice as [MENTION=564]acd[/MENTION] said, which may include those who see sex as a perk, and not the sole purpose or objective of any or all communication with a woman.

 

[Trifoilum]

I think the overlapping factor is having a backbone.

I am a physically male attracted to another male (so there will be cultural differences), but a man having enough confidence is already so.much.hotness.

But the accompanying personality works in a different way.
Arrogance only work in conjunction with their moment of weakness; moments when you were reminded that they were human and not a walking pile of erect ego begging for your attention. The rest? MOTHERBLEEPER BLEEPING BLEEP.

While kindness and compassion? Already work well in itself.

 

[Apone]

Superficiality is a big misconception... that all you need is a pretty face or whatever and then every guy will want you.
The biggest turn on is like-mindedness.

That's pretty hard to find, though.

 

[Hakim]

Also, don't date women in your age group, date women younger than you.

Girls dont like nice-guys, trust me on this... and I am not saying to treat them like shit (the girls) but I am saying that you need to put yourself first. Your life is a show, do your thing and the people will want to be a part of it, then you choose who you let it, women included. "Get in where you fit in" is the mindset you should be using at your age when it comes to girls. You dont want to make women the center of your attention or your life, its a short road to heartbreak, trust me.

Avoiding your age group will not do anything as much as it will not do much if you tried and looked for someone who is younger than you. It comes down to whether or not you can get along with this person or if you two have a similar or common background. I think that is where the emphasis should be focused on and not on the age differences.

There are too many variances in a population enough to narrow it down and say "women do not like men with nice characteristics", as such placing them second before themselves. Experiences from an observable view do not always mean that this will be the case for every single one of them or applicable to many, there are those that would have preferences in between and those that would prefer a partner like that (even though their interests are not apparent to others).

 

[Matt3737]

Women like nice guys, but they do not like guys who are too nice. Each woman's preference on such a spectrum will vary, but it would be roughly equivalent with a bell curve if it were measurable.

 

[5r6jhd]

Women like nice guys, but they do not like guys who are too nice. Each woman's preference on such a spectrum will vary, but it would be roughly equivalent with a bell curve if it were measurable.

Agreed. Guys who are too nice make me uneasy. In my experience they either come off a bit....blank (?) or else even if they are just genuinely nice it rings a little false and I can never fully let my guard down!

 

[Hakim]

Experiences vary with the people we come across and meet on a daily basis but I personally prefer a partner that is too nice and would do everything for me as I would do everything that I can for him. I find this to be a beneficial learning experience that we both can equally grow from if it matures into a long term relationship.

 

[sassafras]

No no no.. Women love legitimately nice men.
I adore kind, sensitive, and nurturing men...
Not to be confused with the doormat trope "alphas" are so hung up on not being seen as...not the manipulative martyr "the world owes me chicks" kind..but someone who is well rounded and secure in themselves..
There really isn't anything hotter than a guy who is caring and genuine and kind and able to handle himself and be a strong person.
mmmm..

^ This.

I'm attracted to guys who are comfortable enough in their own skin to be both nice and their own person. If you're happy with who you are, you don't need to be taking asinine advice like, 'give a girl a backhanded compliment (bitches love backhanded compliments)' or rehearsing lines from the Social Game or other dating manuals. On the flip-side, you won't be looking at 'niceness' as a currency that you'll one day cash-in for sex or a romantic relationship. Girls pick up on that shit easily. If you like a girl, treat her nice because you want to, not because you're expecting something in return. Also, tell her that you like her. If she's not interested, respect that and move on. And stop moaning about this 'friend-zone' crap like it's only an ailment that men experience. It's something that women are familiar with too. It's simply one of two possible outcomes for cultivating a relationship with the opposite sex. That's life. Deal with it.