Myers-Brigg & Dating Profiles

Pin said:
I added ENTJ to my Tinder profile and right out of the gate people presume I'm a dick.

It's like, at least give me some time to express my depraved inner-core.
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INFJ, "Nah," "Sure, I need to work on my inferior Se."
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Don't get me wrong @ThomasJ79 I'm not a prude by any stretch, but I didn't even kiss guys goodbye after a date if we didn't click.
It's pretty common for INFJs to pass on casual sex.
 
If I tried internet dating, I wouldn't provide MBTI information, largely for the reasons stated in the article. Most people don't care, and many denounce it as astrology for white-collar workers. And of those who do think it's relevant information, some may find the type itself off-putting. That's too many cons compared to the pro of being potentially more attractive to a small group, even if that group would be better matches than average. It's like saying "I like to put myself in this box with a neat label, would you like to label me as well so we can immediately start to work on our typing prejudices instead of getting to know each other?"
 
Asa said:
Don't get me wrong @ThomasJ79 I'm not a prude by any stretch, but I didn't even kiss guys goodbye after a date if we didn't click.
It's pretty common for INFJs to pass on casual sex.
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Same.

I had an awkward moment once where we actually did click, but then it turned out that she couldn't converse on politics or philosophy (therefore, no wife), so when I went to give her a kiss on the cheek to say goodnight, she sort of contorted to try to make it a real one.
 
Asa said:
Don't get me wrong @ThomasJ79 I'm not a prude by any stretch, but I didn't even kiss guys goodbye after a date if we didn't click.
It's pretty common for INFJs to pass on casual sex.
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ThomasJ79 said:
Oh, first date yeah....I was thinking about this from a different angle. Yeah....not into hookups either or anything too heavy with someone I don't know.
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Dating has turned into such an economy. Lol. Lay the options like a deck of cards and take your pick. I wonder if beauty pageants initially served this purpose. People may have different measurements but it's measurement just the same. If we come to think of it, marriage has always been about economical advantage. Modern feelers complicated it.

In that sense, it's difficult to believe that "love" as in the kind that should last ought to be out there. Why go through all the trouble of making it work with someone when either of you are bound to give up, anyway? Sometimes I think everything is just circumstantial or a choice for companionship. It's similar to buying that bag ot shirt I like even if it doesn't fit me. Oh well. Too much bitter ranting in a thread that is sincerely asking.

Whatever people put on their profiles is just economics. I suppose mbti is a good specifier.
 
MINFJToothFairy said:
Whatever people put on their profiles is just economics. I suppose mbti is a good specifier.
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Good point. I said "if I tried internet dating", and a large part of why I wouldn't is that it would force me to turn myself into a commodity to be marketed. I don't want to see myself nor others that way, and yet enough people do see it like that to define how others must play the game. Maybe it's idealism, or maybe it's the fact that I don't believe I could present myself as a good match for anyone. It's easy to say I would hate to compete against others, but is it merely because I don't believe I have the resources to win?

A good example is how I thought about the initial question: even though I refuse to participate, immediately upon considering whether to use the MBTI, I assessed the pros and cons, what would bring the best results.

I wonder if internet dating has changed non-romantic relationships as well. Or vice versa, if the changes in relationships are the result of people's attitudes towards the world having changed. I'm now more often ghosted, or people don't bother to respond to ordinary communication, or even ignore me if I do someone a favour. At least sometimes it seems that it's because the other person is calculating what they can get from me without having to do anything themselves - and if I do things without expecting anything in return, they feel entitled to receive anything without even bothering to say thank you. But this is also a great opportunity for growth: the lack of courtesy could force me to participate in the game, consider the costs and effects, or I can just give up and do whatever I think is right without considering what I get in return. The latter seems of course the right thing to do, and it also gives me more pleasure, but one has to stop every now and then to think about what's going on, because that could easily turn into exploitation, the only difference often being merely whether or not I'm sacrificing myself to please others. One has to draw the line somewhere.

But it's difficult to know whether it's because I have changed (becoming older and less attractive) or because the world has, since both are true.
 
Fidicen said:
Good point. I said "if I tried internet dating", and a large part of why I wouldn't is that it would force me to turn myself into a commodity to be marketed. I don't want to see myself nor others that way, and yet enough people do see it like that to define how others must play the game. Maybe it's idealism, or maybe it's the fact that I don't believe I could present myself as a good match for anyone. It's easy to say I would hate to compete against others, but is it merely because I don't believe I have the resources to win?

A good example is how I thought about the initial question: even though I refuse to participate, immediately upon considering whether to use the MBTI, I assessed the pros and cons, what would bring the best results.

I wonder if internet dating has changed non-romantic relationships as well. Or vice versa, if the changes in relationships are the result of people's attitudes towards the world having changed. I'm now more often ghosted, or people don't bother to respond to ordinary communication, or even ignore me if I do someone a favour. At least sometimes it seems that it's because the other person is calculating what they can get from me without having to do anything themselves - and if I do things without expecting anything in return, they feel entitled to receive anything without even bothering to say thank you. But this is also a great opportunity for growth: the lack of courtesy could force me to participate in the game, consider the costs and effects, or I can just give up and do whatever I think is right without considering what I get in return. The latter seems of course the right thing to do, and it also gives me more pleasure, but one has to stop every now and then to think about what's going on, because that could easily turn into exploitation, the only difference often being merely whether or not I'm sacrificing myself to please others. One has to draw the line somewhere.

But it's difficult to know whether it's because I have changed (becoming older and less attractive) or because the world has, since both are true.
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That's the thing. Are relationships about winning or just living and making the most out of it? I don't get the competition at all. I don't get the status quo.
 
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