Nobody gets me!

the

the

Si master race.
Banned
MBTI
ISTJ
Enneagram
9w1
I was thinking today that "Nobody gets me", jokingly of course. A satisfactory number of people understand me. Often I read on the forum that society just doesnt understand INFJs. There are many ISTJs around who can instantly relate to me (as well as other types of course), but as I understand it there are not as many INFJs around to relate to you guys.

My question is: Do you think that you are misunderstood, even proportionally less than the rest of the members of society; or do you just run into people who understand you very infrequently?
 
I just hope to be understood with the same depth that I care to understand others, and feel betrayed, by the universe when it isn't the case. It goes along the same line as treating others the way you wish to be treated, but when that golden rule doesn't pan out, and all they get is a mere visual, or superficial message of what you are, then what?.
 
Zebraf301 said:
I just hope to be understood with the same depth that I care to understand others, and feel betrayed, by the universe when it isn't the case. It goes along the same line as treating others the way you wish to be treated, but when that golden rule doesn't pan out, and all they get is a mere visual, or superficial message of what you are, then what?.
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Considering the INFJ bent on individuality, why do you attribute this to the universe and not to the individual?
 
I don't understand how someone can be misunderstood, to be honest. I have heard other people say this all the time and I just never really considered what that meant. Does this mean that you think you present a different face to the world when compared to who you feel you are on the inside? Do your actions/behaviors not line up with your feelings? Is this done intentionally or unintentionally?

Or this another way of saying that you think and feel you are different from everyone else? That your way of thinking/feeling doesn't match up with the majority of the populace?

I am wondering because I never felt hung up about this. I've been described as being a number of different things as seen through other people's eyes, few of which ever lined up with my self-image, but I never thought to call it misunderstanding or consider myself misunderstood as a result. I don't even know what I thought about it other than it being a usual difference of opinions.
 
Zebraf301 said:
The golden rule, as I understand it, is universal.
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I'm guessing you mean understanding plays into the golden rule and that being misunderstood means that you are being mistreated. I get that treating others the way you want to be treated is a good rule of thumb and the cornerstone of basic human decency. However, I cannot ignore the fact that some people will go above and beyond what others would do for them and end up feeling disappointed and cast aside when they do not get the exact same treatment in turn. My question is, are there any limits or exceptions to the golden rule or must it always be followed?
 
UBERROGO said:
My question is: Do you think that you are misunderstood, even proportionally less than the rest of the members of society; or do you just run into people who understand you very infrequently?
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Probably both. I mean, everyone is different and there is not one person out there who can say that they're fully understood by others, but you have to admit that INFJs are pretty weird and not as common as other types. It would make sense that they feel different a lot of the time, and it would also make sense that, being introverts, they encounter a smaller pool of people from which they can find others to relate to. It seems to also be part of their nature to need to feel eternally misunderstood. I'd imagine that this is grounded in reality - I would imagine that Ni type thinking makes it hard to relay the insides out to the world in an easily understandable way.
 
I think when you could have a better understanding of yourself, you develop the ability to express yourself......more accuratly at least, the odds are when someone doesnt........ermme..get you, your usually are part of the problem. Id approach that bit....by exploring your depth better..........
 
I think this'd be the case when there's a failure to communicate.

Doesn't bother me much if I'm misunderstood. It's probably the result of learning to talk at people as opposed to with them. It sticks or it doesn't.
 
I think when I have the chance to explain myself to people properly (if I happen to care enough to do so), for the most part they usually understand me pretty well. Sometimes they might think they have me figured out though, because I might've inadvertently come across as a jerk or arrogant because of my blunt nature and they've already formed their opinion as such. So a lot of people probably have some misconceptions about me. But, I don't feel "no one gets me" so much as I don't really care if they do or not.


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You know I think the older I get, the more b.s. this concept seems. I say that because as we mature, I believe most of us grow more comfortable in our own skin, and understand how better to relate to others (time, experience.) I think it's quite possible that people feel most misunderstood when they don't understand themselves. Adults I have met that feel misunderstood are usually insecure and don't know how to assert themselves.

Everyone will see you through their own lens. You have no control over that concept ... except to change what they see. Remember the saying "the only way you can change a person is by changing yourself?"

I don't think/feel I am misunderstood by my peers/family. Behavior patterns = predictability. They all know I'm a mess. LOL
 
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UBERROGO said:
I was thinking today that "Nobody gets me", jokingly of course. A satisfactory number of people understand me. Often I read on the forum that society just doesnt understand INFJs. There are many ISTJs around who can instantly relate to me (as well as other types of course), but as I understand it there are not as many INFJs around to relate to you guys.

My question is: Do you think that you are misunderstood, even proportionally less than the rest of the members of society; or do you just run into people who understand you very infrequently?
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Haha- what a great question.

Well, often times my intentions are misunderstood-

1) People will think that because I care, or because I have a conversation with them once or twice- that I want to know about every little thing going on in their lives- aka emotionally draining friends mostly (SFs). This type doesn't understand me because I look for a potential break through or way to alleviate the situation- most people just repeat the same mistakes over and over and want to blab about it- I'm looking for growth.

2) People will be offended that I have moral standards, and am willing to judge things (some people truly don't like the fact that I like to categorize and label things, even when I mean well) for example if I judge something as not being "good" I simply mean that it could be "better- mostly (Artisans/INFPs).

3) Thinkers get annoyed that I tend to moralize or feel my way around ideas- looking at the implications of whether or not something is good for someone on the emotional level (INTJ/ENTP/INTP).

4) People getting annoyed because of my use of intuition which can appear to be flighty to them, intermingled with Fe (ISTJ/ISTP/INTJ- traditionals and rationalists)



Ultimately, that's a lot of the different personality types.

When I parse it down: people don't like me, because I base values off of emotional/moral decisions, people like me too much because they interpret my empathy as wanting to know everything going on and don't understand that I am just empathetic by nature. Some people get annoyed at my desire for growth as the outcome in situations "Come on man- just enjoy the experience!" kinds of people. Other people get irked that I am not as rational as I could be- and that sometimes when my Ni/Fe work together I come to decisions that aren't totally based on logic (even though sometimes they are right), and some people don't like the fact that I label and categorize attributes of people/places/ideas/dreams and use that as a frame of reference for new situations/experiences/ideas.

This list leaves me feeling fairly misunderstood- if you get my drift...

The best thing I can do is just to not get hung up on the fact that people don't speak my natural tongue, and that I sometimes have to adapt my ideas or notions to be understood by different types of people. And when you break it down- don't we all have to do that to some extent?
 
I think it's an incredibly juvenile statement to make.

Often times, no one "gets" you, because you're too busy
being withdrawn in order to be understood. I find the statement
to be incredibly angst-ridden. Not all times, but 95% of the
time I think it's a person's desire to be "unique" and "individual"
and they develop the mindset that no one "gets them". All
humans are humans, guys. Though we're working on a new
breed.

I personally do not have a problem with being understood.
 
Bird said:
I personally do not have a problem with being understood.
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Hah! Maybe some of you INFJs just think that others understand you perfectly, but in reality the rest of us are all just nodding our heads quietly when we're around you while on the inside we're all shocked and confused by how weird you all are, but too afraid to say anything because y'all might get batshit INFJ-y on us.
 
I am learning to appreciate the ISTJ universe. It has taken some getting used to, but it has certainly been fun learning about MBTI functions. I think I have learned some of this through laughing with all the ISTJ remarks on the forum and by interacting with ISFJs.

My father is ISTJ. My brother is ISFJ. So the Si-dominant crowd feels familiar.

I don't know if there's an independent forum site out there for ISTJs, but it is certain that this Forum would be at a disadvantage without their participation. They can clearly relate to the INFPs on the site in a way that we can't, I'm sure, just as we relate to ISTPs.

Plain-speaking doesn't come natural for me in an ISTJ manner, but I can tell you that I myself might have said some of the things said by ISTJ members if I were well-practiced in it. I regularly learn from them.

There is still much I need to understand about them.
 
This kind of mentality isn't always based in melodrama. Sometimes people simply don't get you and it's awkward and hilarious and sad and enlightening all at the same time. At least in my experience. :m077:
 
Lemonworld said:
This kind of mentality isn't always based in melodrama. Sometimes people simply don't get you and it's awkward and hilarious and sad and enlightening all at the same time. At least in my experience. :m077:
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Lol. Let's put it this way. If INFJ personalities were a sense of humour, they would look like really inconspicuously placed puns. Each time someone doesn't detect or get the joke, the puns just keep getting more and more subtle, and more and more humorous for anyone who might catch them.
 
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