Nobody gets me!

As for the question itself, it's broad.

I run into people who "get my drift". Understanding is to different degrees, depending on the person. Even some strangers understand the intentions behind some of my remarks. They understand the humor, and they interact accordingly. Or they understand my sometimes robotic interface with the world.

Perhaps, more than anything, they fail to understand that I am inordinately less "practical" than they are. I am very "present" to certain realities about people and situations; I often take time to appreciate a person and setting by looking around and thinking about it and maybe smiling a bit before talking about the agenda for the moment. Maybe this is why I just tend to go along with what's going on with the activity or conversation when I'm interacting with friends, since I'm still busy "appreciating" or contemplating the meaning of the persons and situation. Even what I say some times sounds like I'm filling up the sentence with conversational pleasantries before I come up with my actual point.

People tend not to get this.

I'm pretty sure there is a shortage of people who understand me on a personal level. They may understand some of the things about me that are common to human existence, but not me personally. In any classroom or group, I tend to remain with people that I am associated with, and these people tend to be comfortable to be around with, in the first place.

Perhaps most importantly, people fail to understand my social energy level. Spending time with my immediate family tends to be automatic. With the exception of spending time with a good roommate or very compatible friend, most social activities──including religious ones──not basic to human existence are usually draining to me and distract from the energy to do practical daily things, which are surprisingly taxing in themselves, as my mind and body prefers to be in drift mode.
 
Though an introvert I'm social (not the same thing) and have been for years. My personal philosophy is to be straight with people and say it like I think it is (though not decidedly impolitely... Exceptions occur. ;D)
Despite all this, judging by the times people are genuinely surprised by what I do (This happening many times AFTER I've told them what I'm going to do in great detail and why it still manages to surprise them.) I would say that yes...I am misunderstood.


verb (used with object), mis·un·der·stood, mis·un·der·stand·ing.
1.
to take (words, statements, etc.) in a wrong sense; understand wrongly.
2.
to fail to understand or interpret rightly the words or behavior of.


I think you get used to it in time. It doesn't really matter to me except I have to repeat myself a lot.
 
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niffer said:
Lol. Let's put it this way. If INFJ personalities were a sense of humour, they would look like really inconspicuously placed puns. Each time someone doesn't detect or get the joke, the puns just keep getting more and more subtle, and more and more humorous for anyone who might catch them.
Click to expand...

The best part is when you are sitting in a quiet room, think of something funny ... or think something is funny and start giggling. Everyone wants in on the humor, but if the INFJ describes what exactly that is (which doesn't happen often b/c we think you'll think we're stupid) ... they usually just lift their eyebrow and think whaaat? I aim to humor myself, if I make others laugh it's a bonus. Oh the mystery! LOL

My friends/family have grown to appreciate my off-beat demented and sometimes dark humor. They deserve to see all those sides of me, just as they do themselves. Not one of them complains that I march to the beat of my own drum (we all do, just in different ways.) Variety is the spice of life!
 
IMO, the statement is a matter of immersion. The often self-fulfilling statement amuses me; on the other hand, philosophical isolation - a.k.a Postmodernism - isn't something to be sneezed at. It has shattered as many lives as it has forged. So many miscommunications and rag-tag factionalisms abound if you look deeply enough, though I fear I'm tangenting now.
 
Except for my online activity, I prefer that people don't get to know me, let alone understand me. Familiarity doesn't help keep things in order in my life.
 
I don't expect everyone to understand me, not even my closest relatives.
It's nice when someone does, but it doesn't make or break me--because I understand myself.
edit: Oh no. This is INFJ only. Disregard.
 
Sriracha said:
The best part is when you are sitting in a quiet room, think of something funny ... or think something is funny and start giggling. Everyone wants in on the humor, but if the INFJ describes what exactly that is (which doesn't happen often b/c we think you'll think we're stupid) ... they usually just lift their eyebrow and think whaaat? I aim to humor myself, if I make others laugh it's a bonus. Oh the mystery! LOL

My friends/family have grown to appreciate my off-beat demented and sometimes dark humor. They deserve to see all those sides of me, just as they do themselves. Not one of them complains that I march to the beat of my own drum (we all do, just in different ways.) Variety is the spice of life!
Click to expand...

Gotta love friends & family and their putting up with our crazy hijinks!

Still, I thought I might add that I don't think I've ever encountered a person who doesn't occasionally laugh at their own thoughts. (I cannot tell you how many people had used that particular self-descriptive bumper sticker on their Facebook page). The other thing I might add is that humor is the type of thing that as soon as you try to explain it, it stops being funny. I don't think it has to do with your sense of humor, personally. It just has to do with the nature of humor, in general.

Maybe this is just me, but I'm finding a very interesting trend lately on social networking platforms where people are going about and comparing themselves to others. 'You do this too? OMG, I thought I was the only one." Or 'Like' if you do this. Or 'Reblog if you know what I mean.' I find it's a rather curious experiment in how much of our self-perceived 'quirks' aren't really quirks at all, but rather a divide between our social face and our private selves.

And then we have this movement where people are trying to be original. To separate themselves from the crowd and almost performing for others how unique and special they are... when really, the things they're doing are not really all that unique. It's their self-perception of being oddballs more than anything else.
 
Does being misunderstood mean wanting someone to get what you haven't or don't want to clearly express to them?

I'm not sure. Obviously it can be extremely frustrating to be around people who for one reason or another don't have the capacity to grasp what you are saying. Hopefully these people are an exception, though, otherwise it's time to change environments and/or reflect on one's communication skills.

Then again, some people probably do have to, at least for a while especially as young persons, function in environments where they are on a different wavelength. I can easily see how that would lead to the feeling of being misunderstood, but eventually hopefully they move on and things change. I think there's something to what @Sriracha said about insecurity and self-assertion.

ETA: Maybe it is a problem when we are unable to be comfortable in our own company and look to the outside for validation and security, because we cannot find belonging inside?
 
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you can leave your teenage years and still feel misunderstood.
you can know exactly who you are and still feel misunderstood.

what is this feeling, where does this feeling come from? not sure --- it’s yours, you own it---- who am i to name it (oh, the arrogance to assume otherwise).

perhaps, some people don’t want to speak to the source.
perhaps, the source cannot be easily attained.


if, hypothetically, i said ‘i feel misunderstood’ and someone said, ‘no, you’re not’,
i’d probably smile, and think ‘precisely’.
 
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