Our Masks

[barbad0s]

Do you wear a mask for the outside world? Different masks for interacting with different people?

Do you consider yourself aware that you wear a mask? To what extent do you think you wear one; how different is it from your true self? When do you feel comfortable removing it?

What is your mask like?

Are you sure of who you are underneath it?

Are these really masks or do you consider every mask we have as just different parts of who we truly are?

Do you wear a mask that prevents you from seeing yourself, or to prevent you from seeing yourself?

 

[floatingbridge]

Yes, I do put on my "face" every time I wake up... I do believe everyone does this...
Different masks for different people, because they expect me to be so. e.g. professional and caring @ work.
If I did not, I will not propagate my intention for a "harmonious atmosphere"...
So it's part of my true self, because it underlies my motive.
I don't think I'll be ever able to remove my work face at work, I'm not allowed to.
Other masks:
- in public, "stranger" face, polite but aloof. Doesn't attract too much attention so I can save my introverted energy for something more important.
- what I like to call the "pipsqueaka"/"my name" face, is when I'm truly happiest/ often musing alone/ or interacting with a chosen one.
I try to be "pipsqueaka" as much as possible with friends and family, though there will always be family members whom I don't really know where to toe the line, and even some things I keep from friends.
- wallflower face, when I'm on good terms with everyone, but not really talking/ no one to interact with. Come to think of it, don't really like this one. Probably to hide from looking lonely or embarrassed.

do you consider every mask we have as just different parts of who we truly are? Yes

Do you wear a mask that prevents you from seeing yourself, or to prevent you from seeing yourself? Not currently

 

[Trifoilum]

As usual, I tend to distinguish between mental mask, makeup, and mirage.

Personal distinction:
Mask : covering an entire face / in this case, an entire self; being someone I'm not.
Makeup : covering blemishes and improving a look of a particular face; essentially covering scars and flaws while accentuating our features.
Mirage : altering the way something is perceived.

Do you wear a mask for the outside world?

Mask : not much, recently. The last time I had tried to don a complete mask is to apply for a copywriter job.
Makeup : Yes. How much of it is intentional is changing at times, however.
Mirage : Also yes. How much of it is intentional is unknown.

Different masks for interacting with different people?

Mask : Back then, yes.
Makeup : Yes. For instance, I'm more cerebral and 'cold' here than in, say, Facebook and real life. With my family I'm a fucking stone cold queen snarker. In Facebook I'm more geekish / 'random', while my Tumblr seems to be more 'artistic'.
Mirage : Also yes. In this case, call it 'choosing the perfect angle'.

Do you consider yourself aware that you wear a mask?

Hahahahahahaa.

Not as much as I'd like myself to be. But that's hyperbolic.
I'm aware whether a mask is applied or not; but how much and how deep..... is a question sometimes I get and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I get a bit too used with people, what intrigues them and what ticks them (my family, for instance). That my subconscious can instantaneously adjust my behavior, attitude, and topics.

Other times (public speaking, most social gatherings) I need to REALLY evoke; whether mask / makeup / mirage. And I need to know the purpose first.
What is my intention?
Do I want to engage or disengage?
To connect or observe?
To approve, to relay or to critique?
What are the sort of people who came? What sort of people am I targeting? This is really helped that my society is really...compartmentalized. So the art community will be pretty different from say, my highschool friends. (This is pretty different with Facebook / other social medias)

To what extent do you think you wear one; how different is it from your true self?

Most of the time, it is -indeed- me. But only some parts shown. Sometimes it's just a different part of me; other times it's attempts to create a particular image and/or be more 'relevant' and/or 'approachable' to my surroundings.


Some part of it is tactical; some part of it intuitive; just got the feeling that what I can talk about in Facebook =/= what I can talk about here. That said, they have overlapped.

When do you feel comfortable removing it?

When I can deal with any fallout resulting in removing it.

Because removing the mask destroys expectations previously built. You are a political creature expressing honest, raw messy emotions. You are a sweet amicable cupcake suddenly sprouting FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKING FAGGOT BITCH YOU FAT SLUT. You are a tough hard badass suddenly writing honest poetry about lost love and past mistakes. You are an endless supply of love suddenly saying "I can't. I just can't do this anymore. I'm done."

What is your mask like?

Personal distinction:
Mask : covering an entire face / in this case, an entire self; being someone I'm not.
Makeup : covering blemishes and improving a look of a particular face; essentially covering scars and flaws while accentuating our features.
Mirage : altering the way something is perceived.

Numerous things that affected it:
Grace : how subtle and 'natural' the change will look. Real good grace in my part will be honest and tact at the same time.
Honesty and Conscience : how strong I want my voice, my message to be heard. And how strong do I feel with this issue. How strong do I want this to be true. and how much do I give a fuck.

Are you sure of who you are underneath it?

Maybe. (So in other words, no).
Again, due to the nature of its shape, those are ultimately part of me. But a composition doesn't only created out of elements; there's an issue of ratio and intensity, amongst other things.
I'm finding the latter part much harder to know.

Are these really masks or do you consider every mask we have as just different parts of who we truly are?

The latter, as far as elements are concerned.
However, strength, intensity, quality of the elements....together with how we're approaching the issue..together with what we think about certain issues....those can very well be fake.

Do you wear a mask that prevents you from seeing yourself, or to prevent you from seeing yourself?

Yes. I cannot explain for now (.....interesting). But yes.

 

[#@&5&49]

Oh my, I could spend a year contemplating these questions, but I'll try to speed it up and post a response :becky:

Do you wear a mask for the outside world? Different masks for interacting with different people? I wear different masks interacting with different people and in different situations.

Do you consider yourself aware that you wear a mask? To what extent do you think you wear one; how different is it from your true self? When do you feel comfortable removing it? I believe people have to wear many masks to a degree; work, friendship, romance, etc. But I don't think who we are has to change as we change the mask we are required to wear. It would be wonderful if we lived in a world where we could just be exactly who we are in whatever situation we find ourselves in. I am comfortable removing all of my masks with the people closest to me and I thank my lucky stars that I have people I can do that with cause I know how rare they are. I try to remain true to my convictions and principles no matter what situation I find myself in or what mask I have to wear. I'm human though and I make mistakes, so there are times when I can't quite pull that off, but that's one of the things improvement is about - recognizing that you can better.

What is your mask like? Well, I suppose it's about the situation in question. To a degree some of the masks I wear are dysfunctional, and then a lot of the time my masks are the various roles I play in my life.

Are you sure of who you are underneath it? Yes, I know who I am underneath the masks I choose to wear. However, like I said, I am human and there are times that I have momentary lapses in reality and slip into temporary denial and then have to pull myself out of those :becky:

Are these really masks or do you consider every mask we have as just different parts of who we truly are? For me they are a combination of both. They are masks but they are all parts of who I am. If that makes any sense.

Do you wear a mask that prevents you from seeing yourself, or to prevent you from seeing yourself? Neither. I wear masks because I have to live in a society that doesn't really look at the totality of who people are.

 

[Billy]

Always. And my mask depends on the person or people I am hiding from. Usually the mask is a user-custom thing, designed uniquely for each person to get them to drop their guard.

 

[Jill Hives]

Do you wear a mask for the outside world? Different masks for interacting with different people?: Yeah, I think basically everyone does. I try to be as "what you see is what you get" as I can, but I learned long ago that doing that scared everyone away from me, and I kind of like having friends. Now I do my best to let little bits of my intensity out at a time to give people a taste before totally overwhelming them. Sometimes it is hard for me and I still end up scaring people away. Maybe it's for the best when I do. If they can't handle me, maybe they shouldn't be around me, for either of our sakes.

Do you consider yourself aware that you wear a mask? To what extent do you think you wear one; how different is it from your true self? When do you feel comfortable removing it?: I'm very painfully aware of my mask wearing. Although for a while in the past I even had myself convinced that I was the person that I was showing to other people. Maybe a part of me is, but it certainly isn't the whole picture of me, or even close to the core of who I am. I am still figuring out what my "true self" is like. I'm a mystery even to myself some of the time. My own reactions to things can surprise me. I only feel comfortable removing my mask if I feel that the people I am with are open minded and accepting of others strangeness. If I get the sense that they are not, I tend to be very quiet and reserved.

What is your mask like?: I have a couple different masks in my repertoire. One is an outgoing, goofy, nonchalant sort of mask. Another is a critical, analyzing, hard as nails mask.

Are you sure of who you are underneath it?: I don't know. Sometimes I wonder about myself. I know that I'm a lot more serious and a lot more sensitive than a great many people would think after they first meet me.

Are these really masks or do you consider every mask we have as just different parts of who we truly are?: They are masks, but they are pieces of myself. Perhaps just pieces I choose to magnify when the moment/situations suits my needs.

Do you wear a mask that prevents you from seeing yourself, or to prevent you from seeing yourself?: No, never. At least not intentionally. Seeing myself is extremely important to me. I truly would rather die than live in denial of what I really am, even if it hurts me to hear the truth. Although I absolutely don't deny that I have chosen not to listen to claims made about me that were true because of an emotionally defensive reaction, in the heat of the moment. But if I am given enough time to think about it and see it for what it really is, I'll always come back and tell you that you were right about me. I'm always searching for the truth about myself. I desperately want to become better and grow as a person and I know that can't happen if I never attempt to view myself objectively.

 

[sprinkles]

Self is amorphous and in constant flux and that is its natural state. Everything is really me.

It's kind of like light being both a particle and a wave. I won't disown dynamic aspects of me just because they are some times contrary.

True self cannot be found if you believe it is only one form.

 

[SealHammer]

Do you wear a mask for the outside world? Different masks for interacting with different people?

When I think of wearing a mask, I think of changing the way I act and present myself, not in an ingenuine manner, but simply in a manner that I normally wouldn't. This also has to do with how I express my views and involve myself in conversation i.e. I'm likely to be fairly reticent in a discussion about politics if I know my views would clash severely with another's. I often tune my attitude a bit in order to make interpersonal communication easier and more fluid for each person I talk to. In short, I suppose I do wear a mask - I don't become an entirely new person, however. I mostly hide what I don't want to be seen - for instance, I've taken a couple lines of text out of this post that I don't wish to make public, and I'll probably end up lying to myself/you guys once or twice without really thinking about it.

Do you consider yourself aware that you wear a mask? To what extent do you think you wear one; how different is it from your true self? When do you feel comfortable removing it?

I am the mask; the mask is me. If it's a fundamental part of how I interact with the world, how is it different from my true self? When we say 'true self' do we refer to our deepest, most personal thoughts and feelings? If that's the case, everyone has masks that cover at least one aspect of that true self. It's human nature to resist feeling vulnerable, as we do when we reveal our 'true selves' to the outside world. As to when I feel comfortable removing the mask, and just being whatever I decide to be - unpressured by outside influence - I really only feel comfortable doing so when I'm completely alone and I know I'm unlikely to be intruded upon. I'm p. selfish in that I reserve me for myself - what everyone else gets is a dilution at best.

What is your mask like?

Whatever it needs to be in order to protect my ideas, myself, or others - or, more often, just whatever I feel like making it; see above.

Are you sure of who you are underneath it?

A jaded, self-loathing underachiever with a short temper, out to save the world from one ill or another. Pretty sure. But really, I have noticed that expectation is a pretty strong influence; sometimes I have to double check what I'm doing to make sure I actually want to do it and I'm not just taking on a persona that people have built about me. Though that's less relevant to the mask itself and more relevant to how the mask is perceived by others. Regardless, I know who I am at this moment.

Are these really masks or do you consider every mask we have as just different parts of who we truly are?

See above. The mask is, in its most basic function, a defensive mechanism. People let through the parts they don't mind making public, and they keep the rest private. It's a manifestation of one's insecurities, we just call it "the mask" because that describes its function plainly enough for anyone to understand. And not to claim that insecurities are cool or anything, but how boring would the world be if everyone were completely honest and forthright with their beliefs, values, opinions, personal life, and so on? If someone were to claim that the mask isn't the real person, I'd tell them they're wrong. It's one of the nuances to personality that gives a person true depth, so long as they maintain the divide between the public mask and the private self.

Do you wear a mask that prevents you from seeing yourself, or to prevent you from seeing yourself?

No.

These are all really good questions to ask oneself. Thanks for that, niffer. Took me a while to construct some responses I was half-satisfied with.

As I touched on a bit above, do any of you ever feel like you have expectations set upon you that feel so strong that they actually influence your thoughts or actions? In a way, have you felt, or do you feel like you end up adopting the qualities that people ascribe to you, even when they're untrue?

Self is amorphous and in constant flux and that is its natural state. Everything is really me.

It's kind of like light being both a particle and a wave. I won't disown dynamic aspects of me just because they are some times contrary.

True self cannot be found if you believe it is only one form.

I think in this case we're talking about acting in a way which feels disingenuous when taking into account one's personal convictions, not the dynamic styles we use to handle different situations.

 

[sprinkles]

I think in this case we're talking about acting in a way which feels disingenuous when taking into account one's personal convictions, not the dynamic styles we use to handle different situations.

But you're not talking about being disingenuous either. You just got finished saying that you're not truly disingenuous, but rather you described various modes for various purposes.

It was the same thing with more details.

 

[SealHammer]

But you're not talking about being disingenuous either. You just got finished saying that you're not truly disingenuous, but rather you described various modes for various purposes.

It was the same thing with more details.

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

w/e, bro.

 

[sprinkles]

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

w/e, bro.

What's the problem? I don't understand this reaction.

 

[Kgal]

Do you wear a mask for the outside world? Different masks for interacting with different people?

Do you consider yourself aware that you wear a mask? To what extent do you think you wear one; how different is it from your true self? When do you feel comfortable removing it?

What is your mask like?

Are you sure of who you are underneath it?

Are these really masks or do you consider every mask we have as just different parts of who we truly are?

Do you wear a mask that prevents you from seeing yourself, or to prevent you from seeing yourself?

For me - putting on a mask is a deliberate conscious decision on my part to school my facial muscles and body posture into as much of a neutral attitude as I can muster. This is the best I can do towards deliberately not being my self - or - as I really think of it - lying.

One year in grad school a professor was teaching about the history of oppression in our society. Evidently I heard something that triggered an emotional response in me when my professor looked at me and said "Such compassion!". It must have been written all over my face. :embarrassed:

One of the strong limits on me is the fact I'm an Enneagram 9 which says I am extremely aware of others - but not myself. When I first read this I embarked on a quest to BE more me. Now that I'm employed I'm seeing myself reflected back by others and I'd say I don't wear many masks at all. :lol: I can tell I'm the new kid on the block as people react in various ways to my openness and blunt mouth.

Practicing mindfulness does allow me to see my negative emotions and judgments....sometimes even before they pop out of my mouth or show on my face. [she says with chagrin and rolling eyes]. When this occurs I definitely put on my best neutral face/mask and attempt to navigate the situation with increased awareness.

But when it comes to me feeling giggles and/or compassion - I don't hold that back anymore. Yes - sometimes people are taken aback by it. Some people actually don't believe it as genuine and quit me. [shrug] These days that's what I want to see in my life and so I do it....often...and with a child like abandon. :bounce:

As for being sure of who I am underneath those masks....well....now that I'm walking a mystic path....I've discovered there is no way in hell I know who I am.

 

[Trifoilum]

One thing I realized about me and my tendency to disguise myself, is related to the last question I can't answer before;
the things that can block my visions about who I am is essentially, ego traps.

To be a contrarian, to be 'knowledgeable', to be 'kind'...

You know, that desire of "I ought to say this, or think this to look like 'this'."

It's ultimately clouding my self-perception because I tend to do it by dancing around perspective. What are the things I found true, and what are the things that I agreed with? It ultimately affects the way I see things...
And given that the emotional core of doing those, of understanding them, is 'misdirection' to say the least...

 

[CloudFire]

My 1st post! I came over from personalitycafe just to interact with more INFJs Hello everyone!

[MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION] - I'm really curious, did you create this thread because of your enneagram? I posted a reply b/c I have the same enneagram and as an image type, mainly the 3's, we are the ones that have to deal most directly with our true self in contrast with the image that we project to the world. It is the 3's greatest battle and often time, many 3's will not be able to differentiate their true self vs their mask as they have lived behind a mask their whole lives in defense to their innate fear.

Do you wear a mask for the outside world? Different masks for interacting with different people?

Yes I do, as INFJs, we're private people and Ni naturally tells us that there are not many others who understand our ideals and values, so these masks exist to protect that, until we know they are trustworthy to let them in.

Do you consider yourself aware that you wear a mask? To what extent do you think you wear one; how different is it from your true self? When do you feel comfortable removing it?

I am completely aware but it is totally different from my real self. I only feel comfortable taking it off when I'm with people I truly trust. Otherwise, there will be certain parts normal people will never see.

Are you sure of who you are underneath it?

I started to become aware and take off this mask in recent months. It's mainly an obstacle that you have to overcome yourself, depending on the health of the 3, taking off the mask could be one of the most difficult thing they will ever have to do. It has been an extremely slow process for me but there are progress made and it will only be a matter of time until I can fully be comfortable with how I really am.

 

[Silas]

I tend to mask myself as an ENFP when with my enfp friends. I tend to do things just to get a reaction from people. They can be completely out of my character and socially unacceptable but when I do that you can see people drop their masks temporarily and you get a to see behind their mask just for a moment, just long enough to get a hint of what they are like. I usually only go through short spurts of this since it kills my energy.
Sometimes I play stupid to see if people will be helpful or condescending. I will sometimes be overly helpful to see if people take advantage of it or are off put by it. I will purposely fake a certain personality trait to see how people handle it. To weasel out genuine people from fakers.
I know it sounds like I do what i don't want others to do but in reality it is just to find good people. Once I find them I drop the act and let them very slowly get to know me.
When I am starting a new job or in a new setting I am stone cold INFJ. People assume I am shy, when any of you know we are not shy, we are actually very social when it comes to something we give a damn about. I prefer to listen and observe. Get to know everyone before they have even really noticed me. It is a pain because sometimes there are those people who are interested in me and pursue me. It cuts into my observing time. After I feel I have observed and learnt enough I then go and talk to people I feel I would get along with.

 

[tfg345i4u5lw]

Do you wear a mask for the outside world? Different masks for interacting with different people?

Yes. In certain situations my personality will slightly change. I'm shy amongst groups of people, I always feel like I'm on display. So I don't reveal myself much until I'm one on one. My mask isn't so much for individuals, more just different general settings. For example; work, one on one, group settings, school, parties, this forum. My personality will change for all of these.

Do you consider yourself aware that you wear a mask? To what extent do you think you wear one; how different is it from your true self? When do you feel comfortable removing it?

Yes I'm aware. My masks are very real. I usually realize I'm in a new mask shortly after I switch. They are all my true self, just different sides of me. I don't know how to remove a mask. Not sure if that's possible. I'm most comfortable one on one.

What is your mask like?

Stoic. Stern. Serious. Confused. Confident. Silly. Funny. Carefree.

Are you sure of who you are underneath it?

Yes.

Are these really masks or do you consider every mask we have as just different parts of who we truly are?

Just a different side.

Do you wear a mask that prevents you from seeing yourself, or to prevent you from seeing yourself?

No.

 

[barbad0s]

There's one more crucial question that I forgot to ask, and it is:

How do you know these answers, and how can you be sure of your answers?


Might as well be a jerk now and tag everyone who cared enough to answer so far-

@pipsqueaka @Trifoilum @Sadie @Billy @Jill Hives @sprinkles @SealHammer @Kgal @CloudFire @Silas [MENTION=5375]chulo[/MENTION]
[MENTION=6214]Azazel[/MENTION] [MENTION=4361]Elis[/MENTION]

 

[TinyBubbles]

yup. naturally the mask becomes more porous the better i know someone, and eventually it falls away altogether. job interviews in particular are super stressful, because i feel pressured to maintain that fake image for quite a while. a lot depends on the tempo of the other person though; if they're calm and open, i tend to be also.

some people above mentioned enneagram, i dont know what my enneagram is but i suspect it's a three because i definitely have issues with shame. i'm rather selective about what i reveal to people about myself.

"How do you know these answers, and how can you be sure of your answers?"
*shrugs* i dunno. they feel rather accurate for the time being. aren't all such questions inherently pretty subjective? it's not like we can quantify "masks" in any direct, tangible way.

for no reason at all, here's that cranky old lady from south park:

 

[Azazel]

Do you wear a mask for the outside world? Different masks for interacting with different people?
Can't help but being a bit different around different people or when being in different situations. Have to morph and adjust sometimes for the sake of own safety/pleasure. Not sure if I can call it a mask.

Do you consider yourself aware that you wear a mask? To what extent do you think you wear one; how different is it from your true self? When do you feel comfortable removing it?
I would hate faking myself, so I don't. I tried it once and it was damaging. I usually show a part of myself, one part at a time. Sometimes I'm aware of what I wear, sometimes I think I don't, to be honest. My true self is all of those "masks" combined but being exposed all at once. I'm comfortable doing this "combo" only with a few people.

What is your mask like?
Those parts? Some of them are just on the opposite spectrum. Like when I tried to fake my mood as "good" but the opposite could often shine through if I wasn't watching myself. It could become stressful to keep up, so I'd just stop it... I wouldn't brag about having a bad mood, I think that's enough.

Are you sure of who you are underneath it?
Yes. As I've said: all of those combined

Are these really masks or do you consider every mask we have as just different parts of who we truly are?
It depends if you fake those traits or not. I don't have energy and wish to do it, so I just show different parts of me. I don't think that absolutely everything has to be exposed to the whole world at the same extent. I'd consider it to be intimate (to myself). So let's say, at work you remain professional and show one side, while with friends it would be another side and with a lover — something completely else. I think at the end of the day those are all different dynamics and it makes me act in a different way. When it comes to complete strangers it gets very interesting because I never know exactly how I may act with them...

Do you wear a mask that prevents you from seeing yourself, or to prevent you from seeing yourself?
No.

 

[Elis]

I have no mask. at least I don't think I have, by the definition that I imagine you have. I stopped caring about projecting an image some time during elementary school.

Different masks for interacting with different people?
No, nothing I'm aware of. I think some people know me better than others, but I'd say that that is more like layers in my guard. (does that sound weird?)

Do you consider yourself aware that you wear a mask?
I'm not sure I'd call it mask(/s), but I feel very aware of my self. I think that self-awareness is a key factor in who I am.

To what extent do you think that you wear one;
To me, it is more of a guard than a mask, but I'd say that I have it all the time.

how different is it from your true self?
I don't think this really applies, my guard and myself aren't like two different personalities.

When others interact with me, they aren't talking directly to me (or at least that is how I see it). I'm not sure how to explain it, but it is like I'm separated from my self when talking. To me it feels like I'm not living in the presence the same way others does, but I don't know, perhaps it is just how I perceive it.

When do you feel comfortable removing it?
I don't lie to people*. If someone asks me something, then I'll answer. At worst I'll tell them that it doesn't concern them or that that I'm not going to answer. I don't think I can stop being reserved, and even if I could, I wouldn't want to.

*that's probably a lie, I probably do at times.

Are you sure of who you are underneath it?
I want to say yes, but then again, I'm wrong at times.

Do you wear a mask that prevents you from seeing yourself, or to prevent you from seeing yourself?
neither