Our Masks

UBERROGO said:
Maybe the true person is the Neanderthal in us all: uncivilized, no tact, takes what he or she wants, disregards others in order to express their own needs.
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....Maybe a TRUE person is subjective to others' thoughts.
 
niffer said:
There's one more crucial question that I forgot to ask, and it is:

How do you know these answers, and how can you be sure of your answers?


Might as well be a jerk now and tag everyone who cared enough to answer so far-
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Ummm....why do you think you're being a jerk?

How do I know my answers?
Welll... hmmm...I guess I would have to say it's because I split myself into 2 entities within me. One is the Observer me and the other is the "actor" me? I'm not sure quite how to describe what takes place. It's as if the Observer me watches my actions and words that flow out of my mouth when I'm around others and then the Observer me watches how others react. Sort of like a triangle. I have noticed the times I allow the Observer me to do the talking/acting is when I'm not wearing a mask. It's when the other (ego) me is doing the action that the masks show up. For example: The ego me is the one concerned about whether the other person likes me and what I say. The ego me is the one who is doing/saying things to ensure my survival in any given situation. Which might include playing by the rules of the game at work - whether I think they're valid or not.

When I'm in the triangle dynamic - I can watch my actions/words effect others. Then I can see their reaction to me and whether I'm getting the desired result. I can see them put on their masks too while dealing with weird me. :tongue:

It's like watching a play on stage.
 
"....Maybe a TRUE person is subjective to others' thoughts." .................edit to say, "Maybe the WAY I see a true person is subjective to my own thoughts. It might be possible others see true people similarly." ; )
 
Kgal said:
Ummm....why do you think you're being a jerk?

How do I know my answers?
Welll... hmmm...I guess I would have to say it's because I split myself into 2 entities within me. One is the Observer me and the other is the "actor" me? I'm not sure quite how to describe what takes place. It's as if the Observer me watches my actions and words that flow out of my mouth when I'm around others and then the Observer me watches how others react. Sort of like a triangle. I have noticed the times I allow the Observer me to do the talking/acting is when I'm not wearing a mask. It's when the other (ego) me is doing the action that the masks show up. For example: The ego me is the one concerned about whether the other person likes me and what I say. The ego me is the one who is doing/saying things to ensure my survival in any given situation. Which might include playing by the rules of the game at work - whether I think they're valid or not.

When I'm in the triangle dynamic - I can watch my actions/words effect others. Then I can see their reaction to me and whether I'm getting the desired result. I can see them put on their masks too while dealing with weird me. :tongue:

It's like watching a play on stage.
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yep, sounds like me. I am much more self aware and that observer v. actor is so true. I can relate to this especially:

I have noticed the times I allow the Observer me to do the talking/acting is when I'm not wearing a mask. It's when the other (ego) me is doing the action that the masks show up. For example: The ego me is the one concerned about whether the other person likes me and what I say. The ego me is the one who is doing/saying things to ensure my survival in any given situation. Which might include playing by the rules of the game at work - whether I think they're valid or not.
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I'm the same. I tend to play by the rules and often seem very much like a person who wants to please. But it's because I'm trying to keep my job. :D I think people look at it as some need for approval, which on some level it is, because if you don't "perform" (in work and use the appropriate mask or face) then you may seem too much like an anomaly and not a "team player". But I'm not a brown noser as they say. I just try to do my job as well as I can in fear that if it's not done or done properly, me more than some other person who can get away with almost anything, could be let go. :D It's not as much about wanting to be apart of the "cool crowd" or be friends with everyone or wanting to be seen as competent employee. It's also about duty or obligation. Yeah, I may go along with something even if I don't like or agree with it because that's what they want. It's not a choice if I want to keep the job. So, that's the way I look at it. That's why I think masks are never just faces. You can seem very excited to be in a particular situation or environment and maybe even quite eager and in reality not like what you're doing, but you know you have to keep sunny or happy or at least smiling face to do what you do. How you seem and what you mean by the impressions you create are two different things.
 
niffer said:
Do you wear a mask for the outside world? Different masks for interacting with different people?

i behave differently sometimes depending on who i'm with, but i wouldn't call it a mask. it's still jackie, but customized for optimum performance lol.

Do you consider yourself aware that you wear a mask? To what extent do you think you wear one; how different is it from your true self? When do you feel comfortable removing it?

i used to wear whatever mask fit the 'play' i was involved in, mostly due to the fact that i was on the run (i was a teenager) and had to assume an identity every time i stopped somewhere lol

What is your mask like?

changeable instantly adaptable

Are you sure of who you are underneath it?

at the time i had no identity underneath it

Are these really masks or do you consider every mask we have as just different parts of who we truly are?

there are masks and there are variations of behavior. i feel that the masks are artificial whereas the variations are natural part of social interaction

Do you wear a mask that prevents you from seeing yourself, or to prevent you from seeing yourself?

no. i know exactly who and what i am. i need to be able to see that in order to make sure i stay true to myself.
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.
 
the said:
Isn't a mask just your real self when placed in a certain situation?

*When in situation A I act this way towards people
*When in situation B I act a different way.

I believe that people are always their true self. Sometimes high pressure or stressful situations can set off the coward in a person, but being a coward is still part of who they are. Being around certain people or strangers can make you feel uneasy, but being distrustful of people is part of who you are. Being guarded or being open, thats your true self. There is no sense in saying your true self is open and loving when you only act like a guarded and cold hearted person. The "True Self" sounds like wishful thinking of who you wish you could be.

Calling it a mask just seems like a gimmick to sell self-help books to suckers.
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Yes, if you look at it close enough.
From a bird's pov; When someone's actions and words clashes with their actual thoughts and feelings, I call it a mask.
That clash is the most damaging aspect.

But I agreed with the bias; there -is- an inherent bias that your True Self must be open honest caring loving etc etc etc. I think it's related to the idea of how babies are pure and innocent; and one's True Self is perceived as being pure and innocent as well.
 
Everyone has got more than one mask. Try not to get lost between them or you will forget how your face looks like..
 
I like [MENTION=4726]Vict[/MENTION] 's answer.

I think it is about self delusion and illusion. We first see what we are taught to see and blind to all else. Then in a flash, we realize that there is that which we were not taught and see what was previously shielded/hidden from us and are blind to all that we cannot accept. We are blind to those things we are unable to accept about ourselves. We are blind to the motives we refuse to acknowledge, to the voice and actions of our unlovely selves. There is no "mask", it is outright denial.
 
KIERKEGAARD on Wearing Masks:

“Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour when every one has to throw off his mask? Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked? Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it? I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others that at last their true nature could not reveal itself;... In every man there is something which to a certain degree prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself; and this may be the case in so high a degree, he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself. But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love, and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all.”
- Soren Kierkegaard, Either/Or II.146
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Just thought I'd throw that in.
 
I'm planning on constructing many literal masks for use in shamanic ritual in the near future.
My job involves a lot of customer service, public visibility, with a diverse coworker base (I'm talking about a grocery store), so I've cut a spectrum of facades - more so vocal masking than facial, though.
I've been concerned with my projected image lately and have begun the process of crafting a tulpa to - among other things - council me on my vocal patterning, body language, and fashion sense.
 
Magikarp said:
I'm planning on constructing many literal masks for use in shamanic ritual in the near future.
My job involves a lot of customer service, public visibility, with a diverse coworker base (I'm talking about a grocery store), so I've cut a spectrum of facades - more so vocal masking than facial, though.
I've been concerned with my projected image lately and have begun the process of crafting a tulpa to - among other things - council me on my vocal patterning, body language, and fashion sense.
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What is a tulpa? A kind of mask?
 
A tulpa is a mental construct, a fragment of self pre-programmed, made manifest, and given life. It becomes self-aware, sentient... has access to your memory banks and subconscious. It used to be used by hermits to keep from going mad in isolation. Practical uses for any entity include using it as a mirror for self-reflection, a secondary viewpoint (especially if you've given it a very different personality than your own), and as a moral check or judgement center.
Unless you program it otherwise, the tulpa can learn to possess your body.
The entity in John Wyndham's 'Chocky' may have been a tulpa.
 
I have a lot of masks:
-family mask: talkative and responsible for obligated duties
-friends mask: giddy, talkative and sometimes feeling a little fake because I need my quiet and space
- strangers mask: reserved, shy, possibly even cold
-authorities mask: polite, quiet, very feminine like and speaks in elegance
-mean people mask: asshole-like, aggressive, argumentative

I know most people have these masks or more but to me, it seems like I revealed some secrets of mine ;)
 
I used to be all for the idea of wearing masks but masks or personas can become like a pair of restraints (ironic word choice :D). If you are required to wear a mask all the time or put one on for long periods of time, at least I can only speak for me, it can be suffocating, making it difficult to know yourself outside of those masks. Masks you regularly wear may come to define you because in some ways, they become these things foisted on you, so that without them, people don't know how to relate or interact with you if you're not wearing the mask they are used to. The masks you wear can make you feel as if you're nothing but the mask or persona you're expected to present. It's another way of imposing uniformity and conformity, is to expect everyone to be the same. It comes to a point where people think something is wrong with you if you're not wearing the mask.
 
<---------I never wear a mask.
 
Yes and no... I tend to feel these 'masks' are more like intensities of 'me' and more situational, in order to avoid wasting energies around those not capable of knowing the true me so easily.
 
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