People say I have no emotions

Odyne

Odyne

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For the longest time! All I've heard is "you're emotionally disconnected." "You need to show more sympathy/empathy." "You're distant." "You're emotionally unavailable." "You should show others that you care." You should this, you should that. And then I run into this something like this, and my eyes involuntarily tear up.

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Look at that genuine and honest happiness. That simplicity, pure joy, and innocent curiosity. A fresh reminder of our basic instincts, our inherent desire to engage life and explore our reality, to develop ourselves and grow through our "senses".

Just look. Watch. And observe. I could stare at this for a long time.




Moments like this are majestic.







Or maybe I am exceptionally emotional tonight.
I am on my period.
 
[MENTION=1579]Odyne[/MENTION],

I feel you. I get that kind of stuff from people ALL the time but I'll be damned if I don't tear up at something like that or if I don't cry at a cat video or feel feelings during movies and stuff. They are there and they come up, but they are not on a whim and they are not random. When I feel something, it is usually only when something touches me very deeply and it tends to be over things that are profound or very happy or beautiful.
 
SpecialEdition said:
They are there and they come up, but they are not on a whim and they are not random.
Click to expand...

I think that is what confuses people. Like emotions are such polar opposites to logic that they ought to be always completely out of your control.

I get told that too (though not as much as [MENTION=7838]SpecialEdition[/MENTION]!). I don't know exactly what some people expect, maybe instant loss of emotional control at the smallest bits of information, but I can't imagine many people at all, regardless of personality type, living their life like that. On the other hand, I think I catch clues to a person's emotions without them needing to gush, and don't see why others can't do that for me.

Those are absolutely awesome videos, BTW. There is something so beautiful about really significant things causing such emotional expressions. How can some people expect that to happen just on a whim?
 
I don't think you should worry about it. Being emotionally expressive is part of the female gender role that society tries to enforce, but if you're happy being yourself then there is nothing actually wrong.
 
Unfortunately, all my friends online seem to be surprised that I'm stoic. A lot of people think I'm emotionally unavailable as well, but it's really hard to express myself. Whether it was from being brought up, or another influence, I've always felt showing emotion was weakness, so when it comes to social situations, I try my best not to seem vulnerable. When I do try to show that I appreciate something or love something it's become embarrassing because the vulnerability part has also turned into that of shame. It's hard having people surprised that you have emotion when they've only known you to act a certain way... That could be it? It's challenging when people already have preconceived ideas about how you express yourself, and even more challenging to open up once that's been a part of you for so long.
 
It's a shame people mistake being guarded as being emotionally detached. Society wants us to believe that being "shy" is wrong and that you NEED to open up. In every single job I've had everyone has told me I am too quiet, too shy, or they're worried about how I will succeed being so quiet. I am also asked "why don't you ever talk?". People are constantly pressuring others to speak up when they have trust issues to begin with. Some people simply prefer to keep to themselves. Some people have trouble expressing emotions and so on. Sadly a lot of people don't understand that. They are confused by what they don't understand and jump to conclusions such as: "wow this person is cold and doesn't like me and doesn't want to talk to me".
 
I'm probably abnormal amongst most ENFPs in that people will never, ever think that I'm unemotional, but I don't feel the emotions. I'm clearly reacting to emotions, and am driven by them, but I don't feel them unless they're SUPER strong. What you feel is what you feel. Don't try to fake it. Faking it tears the soul in two. (I'm not religious in the least, but that's the aptest description I can think of.)
 
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