People you can't read

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slant said:
Because that's exactly what he's doing? If he is performing he's looking at and gravitating towards the person in the room that gives the biggest reaction to him. It's because of the energy they're putting out, it gives him confidence to perform more and harder. It seems very straightforward and obvious to me, it's just, the open Mike I mostly saw him at has very low energy and I'm like the only person that even reacts. Everyone else is on their phones. Seeing him elsewhere with a more energetic crowd he definitely goes right to the person with the most energy. So to me, it's self evident
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Ok fair enough, I may be getting wrapped up in what seems to me like a negative judgment of his character based upon that, but maybe that’s me reading too much into your description. Either way it looks like you cracked the code as far as reading his pattern.
 
Sloe Djinn said:
Ok fair enough, I may be getting wrapped up in what seems to me like a negative judgment of his character based upon that, but maybe that’s me reading too much into your description. Either way it looks like you cracked the code as far as reading his pattern.
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Yeah there's nothing wrong with him

He just doesn't really want to get to know me and that's his choice, really. There are other people for me to interact at those places he was just a focal point for a brief moment.
 
Wyote said:
R u talkin' bout dem infjs?
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slant said:
Because that's exactly what he's doing? If he is performing he's looking at and gravitating towards the person in the room that gives the biggest reaction to him. It's because of the energy they're putting out, it gives him confidence to perform more and harder. It seems very straightforward and obvious to me, it's just, the open Mike I mostly saw him at has very low energy and I'm like the only person that even reacts. Everyone else is on their phones. Seeing him elsewhere with a more energetic crowd he definitely goes right to the person with the most energy. So to me, it's self evident
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I don't feel like I'm understanding the situation completely. I'm going to break it down and you tell me if I have got it right:

1. There is this person you know who is a performer.
2. He's an individual who gravitates towards people who respond to him favorably and in a big way.
3. He connects with these people but you don't feel like its authentic;
4. You feel like maybe he's being dishonest or trying to get something out of these interactions...

Assuming I understood correctly...

What I'd like to know is what you believe should be the opposite of this behavior and why you feel it'd be less threatening/suspicious/odd as compared to what he's doing? What do you think he gains from this behavior, both positive and negative?
 
sassafras said:
I don't feel like I'm understanding the situation completely. I'm going to break it down and you tell me if I have got it right:

1. There is this person you know who is a performer.
2. He's an individual who gravitates towards people who respond to him favorably and in a big way.
3. He connects with these people but you don't feel like its authentic;
4. You feel like maybe he's being dishonest or trying to get something out of these interactions...

Assuming I understood correctly...

What I'd like to know is what you believe should be the opposite of this behavior and why you feel it'd be less threatening/suspicious/odd as compared to what he's doing? What do you think he gains from this behavior, both positive and negative?
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No I'm not saying it's not genuine.

It is genuine. I'm not sure why everyone thinks I'm suspicious of his motives? I'm not.
 
sassafras said:
OK, then I'm not understanding. Can you break down your observations/feelings?
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I had just noticed a sort of vibe directed toward me when this fella was on stage. But offstage, cold. Couldn't figure out why. Couldn't read him. Then I saw him perform somewhere with an audience that wasn't shitty, and he focused on the person with the highest energy. When he is on stage he will mirror whatever you give him. But that doesn't mean he feels those things- it's how he gains courage to perform, he feeds off a crowd.
 
slant said:
I had just noticed a sort of vibe directed toward me when this fella was on stage. But offstage, cold. Couldn't figure out why. Couldn't read him. Then I saw him perform somewhere with an audience that wasn't shitty, and he focused on the person with the highest energy. When he is on stage he will mirror whatever you give him. But that doesn't mean he feels those things- it's how he gains courage to perform, he feeds off a crowd.
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So you're just observing a musician in various settings?
 
Milktoast Bandit said:
So you're just observing a musician in various settings?
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Right? That question added a lot of context. It sounds pretty normal for a performance artist to mirror what appeals to the crowd and feed off of the energy of others at venues. It would be like trying to “read” an actor or comedian who is doing improv when in that context they are probably focused on playing a role and how others receive their performance.
 
Sloe Djinn said:
Right? That question added a lot of context. It sounds pretty normal for a performance artist to mirror what appeals to the crowd and feed off of the energy of others at venues. It would be like trying to “read” an actor or comedian who is doing improv when in that context they are probably focused on playing a role and how others receive their performance.
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Exactly! It's just normal behavior for a musician to try to connect with the audience. If only one person is into it, then show is directed to that one person who is actually enjoying themselves. If more people are enjoying it, there is more energy. Performing, at least as a musician, is a symbiotic relationship with the audience. Performer and audience feed off of each other.
 
Milktoast Bandit said:
Exactly! It's just normal behavior for a musician to try to connect with the audience. If only one person is into it, then show is directed to that one person who is actually enjoying themselves. If more people are enjoying it, there is more energy. Performing, at least as a musician, is a symbiotic relationship with the audience. Performer and audience feed off of each other.
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Which is pretty universal for anyone who’s on the spot. For example, someone pointed out to me years ago that when defending their doctoral thesis, they were nervous as hell but felt more comfortable when given reassuring visual cues (smiling and nodding) by one of the people present. Whenever I am interviewing I always gravitate towards that as well because it’s positive feedback. I also try to do the same in turn if I’m a part of the interview panel.

Wait a minute!!! Are you just feeding off of this milky!?
 
slant said:
No. We're not the same, not at all. This person can just reflect energies. Give people what they want to see. It's like he feeds off of other people and then puts back out what you gave him- but thats not him, it's his facsimile of you.
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Deleted member 16771 said:
You do realise that you're describing another human being, right?
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These two things together, followed by a complete lack of forthcoming information about context until a specific question was asked about the person, is what lead to all the confusion
 
Sloe Djinn said:
Which is pretty universal for anyone who’s on the spot. For example, someone pointed out to me years ago that when defending their doctoral thesis, they were nervous as hell but felt more comfortable when given reassuring visual cues (smiling and nodding) by one of the people present. Whenever I am interviewing I always gravitate towards that as well because it’s positive feedback. I also try to do the same in turn if I’m a part of the interview panel.

Wait a minute!!! Are you just feeding off of this milky!?
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Well I didn't realize that at the time. Also I can read most of the other people who perform there plain as day
 
slant said:
Well I didn't realize that at the time. Also I can read most of the other people who perform there plain as day
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I understand that you feel compelled to "read" people in that way, but I am not sure it is the healthiest thing to do from a social point of view.
 
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