Polyamory

No you can't have anyone you wanted, because they'd have to be OK with this whole things too, and thats a pretty slim chance. So you'll be mostly dating insecure people who just want to do what you tell them, and a few true polys whom you may never even find. Those rare people will have to be taken even if you don't like them so much cause you have no other choices. You will not enjoy this.
 
DoveAlexa said:
No you can't have anyone you wanted, because they'd have to be OK with this whole things too, and thats a pretty slim chance. So you'll be mostly dating insecure people who just want to do what you tell them, and a few true polys whom you may never even find. Those rare people will have to be taken even if you don't like them so much cause you have no other choices. You will not enjoy this.
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Someone's a betty downer.
 
I think that it is human nature to form habits and jealousies, both inconducive to a successful poly-amorous relationship.
That being said, if you find a group of emotionally mature individuals who want to explore this with you - go for it. Who knows, it may work out. I firmly believe that life can surprise you.

Again, that being said, I'm a monogamous person myself =)
 
If that's what you want, go for it.
 
Polyamory seems like the best solution for me because:
  • The tendency to be with another is implied in the terms of the relationship, whereas in a monogamous relationship, it's considered cheating.
  • Having a failsafe works for people like me who don't seek relationships after a failed one.
  • I am not only capable of loving (loyally) multiple people, I naturally tend to do so.
  • It's harder for someone like me to fully connect with anyone. I find there hasn't been any single person in my life who could provide me all that I desired.
  • I love difference, variety and choice.
  • I like being free.
  • I like being open.
  • I like handling complex things...
  • I want my partner to be satisfied if I am unable to do this completely.
 
Ah, that's why I go through girls. If a person cannot emotionally, intellectually and physically satisfy me, I move on. Same as if I can't satisfy her.
 
Polyamory intrigues me. I don't know that it would work for me because I haven't tried it yet, but I would be very open to an exclusive and loving relationship with multiple people. Of course, three seems like the perfect number for me. That way I could have a guy and a girl. I bisexual's fantasy. As for the issue of jealousy, I doubt it would be much of a problem if the relationship was discussed prior to all three people getting involved. *shrugs* I'll won't know until I give it a shot one day.
 
DevilDoll said:
Polyamory intrigues me. I don't know that it would work for me because I haven't tried it yet, but I would be very open to an exclusive and loving relationship with multiple people. Of course, three seems like the perfect number for me. That way I could have a guy and a girl. I bisexual's fantasy. As for the issue of jealousy, I doubt it would be much of a problem if the relationship was discussed prior to all three people getting involved. *shrugs* I'll won't know until I give it a shot one day.
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Just find another bisexual girl who's fine with it and I'm sure there'd be a ton of guys willing to fulfill this lifestyle for you.
 
I wonder if any of the desire you have to try this comes from a desire to break the traditional mold and try something new (which is a valid motivation a lot of times)... But it seems like something that sounds really good in theory, but gets messy in practice.

I personally am easily drained by one partner... so I can't imagine having more than one other person's set of needs (sexual, intellectual, emotional etc.) to worry about. *shudders* yeah... way too complicated for my tastes.
 
freybell said:
I wonder if any of the desire you have to try this comes from a desire to break the traditional mold and try something new (which is a valid motivation a lot of times)... But it seems like something that sounds really good in theory, but gets messy in practice.

I personally am easily drained by one partner... so I can't imagine having more than one other person's set of needs (sexual, intellectual, emotional etc.) to worry about. *shudders* yeah... way too complicated for my tastes.
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I'm INTP, not ENFJ :)

To put it simply, I think it's a better solution for the type of person I am.
 
freybell said:
I wonder if any of the desire you have to try this comes from a desire to break the traditional mold and try something new (which is a valid motivation a lot of times)... But it seems like something that sounds really good in theory, but gets messy in practice.

I personally am easily drained by one partner... so I can't imagine having more than one other person's set of needs (sexual, intellectual, emotional etc.) to worry about. *shudders* yeah... way too complicated for my tastes.
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Yes, if I was single I might fantasize that having multiple partners could give me the amount of love and attention I need and need to give, but when you have one you realize its all you really need.
 
Sheltered homeschooler that I was, my first boyfriend was actually polyamorous and I didn't even know what that meant at the time. It didn't seem to affect my relationship with him at all. The killer of our relationship was the fact that I was going to go away to college and he didn't want to do long distance. However we're still good friends six years later because I know I can count on him no matter what because he still loves me even though I married someone else.

While he and I never had sex (he did not want if for some reason, at least he didn't want to be the one to take my virginity in case we didn't work out) he said that for him it's far more emotionally connecting than a lot of people, and if it weren't for that he wouldn't want it at all.

He saw the female form as art and not something to jerk off to. I think he still has some of my poses on his computer. :P
 
I know a guy in a poly-amorous group. He seemed very content. The only trouble he had was when someone got pregnant, figuring out who was the 'legally responsible party' in the state-mind was a challenge. In addition, he suddenly found that knowing who was the paternal transmitter had some importance he hadn't understood before. So just be ready to wing it, because you will be facing issues without a lot of wisdom built in from prior generations.
 
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