Progression in a relationship

1. is there a certain amount of time that should elapse before you 'have a bad day' in someone's presence?
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I try to never have a bad day around people, but I would say that the bad days come as they will, I personally dont shy away from things like that because if they cant handle me on a bad day what makes them entitled to the good ones?

2. when is it ok to start inviting them to spend the night when they come over?
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After you have sex the 1st time. If that will be the 1st time you have sex, then, well when you decide to have sex, thats when.

3. how far along in the relationship should you be before leaving toiletries (toothbrush etc) at your bf/gf's apartment?
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When they start sleeping over, unless you want to deal with morning breath.
4. how long before you tell someone you love them?
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When you feel it/ mean it.
 
1. I don't think there's anything wrong with letting a partner know you're having a bad day.

2. Six months.

3. I'm veryyy tidy and never leave anything at his place.

4. Six months - a year. Those words themselves aren't enough though. The actions behind the words matter a lot more, so the best way to tell someone really loves you is by how they treat you.
 
Quest said:
4. Six months - a year. Those words themselves aren't enough though. The actions behind the words matter a lot more, so the best way to tell someone really loves you is by how they treat you.
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Well that's depressing
 
Well, if there is a better understanding between you, then there is no prob in any such situations as could manage by understanding. The things that always effects a relation is lack of trust.
 
1. The sooner the better.
2. "
3. "
4. When it feels true.
 
I often wonder exactly how something that is supposed to come naturally to most living creatures ever became so complicated for us.

I sort of play it safe and take things a lot slower than maybe some people would like-- but I never get upset if someone makes the first move in the toothbrush/spending the night situation unless I see it as a short-term thing. If you're really into someone you probably won't care, and if you do care, then you're not the kind of person I want to spend too much time with.
 
i think i'm over my initial freakout now

he vented to me about work the other day for about an hour and then apologized for dumping his issues on me. now that he's shown his bad day side i can relax

his toothbrush is still here and he's been here twice since and has neither slept over or used it. it's still in the drawer and he didn't mention it so i'm going to relax

when he was over the last time he whispered into my ear that he liked me a whole lot. it was silly and it made me laugh but it also sent me a message that he's willing to tone it down and not overwhelm me so i'm going to relax
 
JGirl said:
i think i'm over my initial freakout now

he vented to me about work the other day for about an hour and then apologized for dumping his issues on me. now that he's shown his bad day side i can relax

his toothbrush is still here and he's been here twice since and has neither slept over or used it. it's still in the drawer and he didn't mention it so i'm going to relax

when he was over the last time he whispered into my ear that he liked me a whole lot. it was silly and it made me laugh but it also sent me a message that he's willing to tone it down and not overwhelm me so i'm going to relax
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That's good then!

We all have bad sides, and we all know that we have bad sides. Why we feel the need to keep them hidden I'll never know...
 
Apone said:
That's good then!

We all have bad sides, and we all know that we have bad sides. Why we feel the need to keep them hidden I'll never know...
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i think in the case of new relationships we want to put our best foot forward so to speak. to be honest i don't really see it as a bad side, just part of being human.
when a person's bad day spills over onto you, when they are bitchy at you etc that's really nasty and i think people worry that's going to happen when they see someone is in a bad mood.
i have a pretty ugly temper that i do not want anyone to see and i try very hard not to let it show, however there is gonna be some leakage at some point lol.
 
Bring down the hammer. It's better than trying to hide.
 
I find that it is often best to limit showing my temper in the early stages. Some people get all invested in what I'm expressing and think it about them somehow which only causes me to get super annoyed. Generally I allow myself to feel my emotions when they occur and then analyze why I am feeling that way as I calm down and find out what is inside me that is causing this pain/anger/hurt and either shove it down to mellow a bit more or am over it already. I give off a very noticeable "leave me the hell alone" vibe that you should pay attention to until it mellows into "seems okay now".

I think any relationship it is best to do what makes you comfortable. You can't force trust. I rarely say "I love you" until after a year or so myself. All relationships have their own pace and flavor.
 
inject said:
Well, if there is a better understanding between you, then there is no prob in any such situations as could manage by understanding. The things that always effects a relation is lack of trust.
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That,s what i think about the topic, what you think? Please do give your ideas and suggestions
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1. is there a certain amount of time that should elapse before you 'have a bad day' in someone's presence?
- after a month. Probably not fair to talk about personal difficulties or issues too early because the person can view this as negative or a sign that you're someone who focuses more on the bad than good. But it can also be great to find someone who lets you vent and air a bad day without making you feel as if mentioning it should make them pity you or without feeling burdened by it. It may be good to share a bad day early on just to see how they'd react. Maybe a good test of what type of person they are. If they're only interested in a good time, nothing serious, they'll probably be nice and sympathetic but lessen contact later.

2. when is it ok to start inviting them to spend the night when they come over?
- After numerous background checks including an FBI and NSA investigation. :D I guess, the best is when you feel comfortable with them personally. 8 mths to a year for me.

3. how far along in the relationship should you be before leaving toiletries (toothbrush etc) at your bf/gf's apartment?
- That I'd leave for fiance/husband. Can't do that with someone short term.

4. how long before you tell someone you love them?
- when you truly feel it, mean it and want to show it. Don't tell someoen ILU just to say it. Say it when you love them, not the idea or fantasy of them. Don't say it because it just because it feels good or romantic to say it. Say it because it really means something.
 
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