Reaching out to people

[alta]

Anyone else have trouble maintaining friendships? I personally don't like dealing with people's bullshit, and find most those I meet IRL to be pretty dull anyway.

Absolutely. High school was probably the only time I really cared about meeting new people developing friendships. After graduation, I realized how little they actually contributed to my life and (perhaps selfishly) I focused more on myself and the handful of people I cared about... After graduation from college, I almost truly dropped off the face of the earth and for the first time felt an insane amount of peace.

I meet many nice people, but never just the right kind of person to make me care enough to spend unnecessary time with. My husband (when we met last year) literally had to track me down and find me after our first meeting. I usually write everyone off right off the bat, but after spending more time with him I realized that he was my soul mate. I don't know how many great friendships I have missed out on purely based on initial judgement, and true to my nature, I really don't care.

My relationship with my husband remains the only friendship maintained.

 

[subwayrider]

[MENTION=4773]alta[/MENTION]

You're lucky. I need to start opening up more.

Welcome to the forum, btw.

 

[subwayrider]

maybe you are just moving on in life. there are definitely awesome people to meet out there. remember there is bullshit about everyone, we all have our flaws and less desirable qualities!

That is true. Maybe I just need to find the right people for this stage in my life, and start to open up little by little again.

 

[Sebastian]

Anyone else have trouble maintaining friendships? I personally don't like dealing with people's bullshit, and find most those I meet IRL to be pretty dull anyway. A lot of my "friendships" used to be based on shared drug use, and now that I've quit the partying/drinking/smoking scene, I feel like I have nothing in common with those people anymore. I don't think there ever was much of a connection there, but i felt I needed drugs at the time to cover up things I didn't like about my life, and I didn't want to do them by myself.

It's the bullshit, the drama, and the lack of stimulation that make it hard for me to form and maintain friendships. Mostly the stimulation though.

It takes time to find a new groove after changing life habits. I admire you for having the maturity at your age to make the changes you're made... I guess that sounds condescending but I don't mean it to be... I can only talk from my perspective and I spent my whole 20s living a lie.

Going through change I visualise like flying away from a flock of birds and joining another one... There's that empty space between the flocks where you're on your own in many ways. What's that saying? ' Birds of a feather flock together'.