reality collapsing

[Praefect]

I have experienced something like this. I wrote about it over at intpf:

"There came a time when I started questioning everything I'd taken granted for. I suddenly felt like I'd limited myself to a singular worldview for so long that it had become impossible for me to know what was objectively right. I had to change that, take a step back and truly observe the world in depth before I could make any reservations again.

I realized my personal value system was completely biased. I had to redo everything, start from the beginning, discard all preconceived notions about the world. And so I did. I became obsessed with "objectivity". I discarded every single one of my beliefs in favour of a neutral worldview, where I could look at everything without any prejudices and then reconstruct myself. One of the major changes I made at this point was to become agnostic ("how can I trust my religion to be right when there are other religions in the world that believe the same?")"

This was 2 years ago. I still haven't quite recovered, or perhaps, I've resigned myself to the fact that I can never have a solid understanding of the universe which is far, far more flexible and vast than I previously assumed it to be.

Something like this happened to me, too. My core believes had shown themselves to be faulty when faced with a harsh dose of reality and it led me to discard all believes. Not only all those that I held, but all those that everyone else held, too. I refused to be influenced, refused to accept guidance of a spiritual nature. No world view I was confronted with could bear the weight of my criticism and skepticism. Looking back on it I see it as my nihilistic phase. Nothing had meaning, nothing had a point. Nothing was inherent, just chaos and chance, all patterns self delusion made for comfort. Something has meaning to me now, because, in time, I gave it that. Rather than view the meaning of life, for instance, as something objectively, I embraced subjectivity. This has meaning not because it is an objective truth, but because I decide to give it that meaning and because I decide to give it value, knowing that this is not inherent in the fabric of the cosmos, but just within my perception of it.

 

[Trifoilum]

I....

...well, as per minor occurences....

I close my eyes. It feels like drifting in an unknown river. I won't get drown if I don't struggle, but it's hard not to struggle.
Look around, analyze my surroundings. What happened? What is different? What is the same?

With each difference and similarities found, another reality is constructed.

Actually, so far such happenings I remembered were actually as soft as a whisper, a gentle touch of....something...yet feels so very heavy.

 

[randomsomeone]

There have been quite a few occasions (some rather conspicuous) where the process of the illusory reality collapsing and more reality-based reality coming to light actually gave the odd sense that one could read events unfolding into the future, and they came to pass more or less as foreseen. In these cases I find myself operating 5-10 years ahead of many others. It's an strange occurance, and I don't place much weight on it (I could always be wrong) but I do find such occurances encouraging as I launch out into a reality that seems right to me and consistent with all the other fragments I have collected over the years.