Reality Girl

mayflow said:
Hmmm' have you ever read anything by Clarissa Pinkola Estes?
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Yes, I forgot how much "Women Who Run With the Wolves" used to be a fixture on my end table when not in use. I'll have to read more by her.

"...the most loving people are often the most fierce... for they care about preserving and protecting poetry, symphonic song, ideas, the elements, creatures, inventions, hopes and dreams, dances and holiness... those goodly endeavors that cannot be allowed to perish from this earth..." from The Dangerous Old Woman
 
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:smile: I also read that book and a liked it very much. I don't know where you live but if they have a good library system, you can maybe get some of her audio books to listen to. She is a really great story teller with a very nice voice and will always include Jungian explanations about how the stories relate to the soul. I live in Texas (US) and the library system is barbaric here, but I used to live a little ways from Minneapolis Minnesota where it was wonderful.

Here is one of my favorites from "Women who run with the wolves" and a link to where I found it. (I don't want to post the pic as it is copyrighted)

They say she lives among the rotten granite slopes in Tarahumara Indian territory. They say she is buried outside Phoenix near a well. She is said to have been seen traveling south to Monte Alban in a burnt-out car with the back window shot out. She is said to stand by the highway near El Paso, or ride shotgun with truckers to Morelia, Mexico, or that she has been sighted walking to market above Oaxaca with strangely formed boughs of firewood on her back. She is called by many names: La Huesera, Bone Woman; La Trapera, The Gatherer; and La Loba, Wolf Woman.

The sole work of La Loba is the collecting of bones. She is known to collect and preserve especially that which is in danger of being lost to the world. Her cave is filled with the bones of all manner of desert creatures: the deer, the rattlesnake, the crow. But her speciality is said to be wolves.

She creeps and crawls and sifts through the montanas, mountains, and arroyos, dry riverbeds, looking for wolf bones, and when she has assembled an entire skeleton, when the last bone is in place and the beautiful white sculpture of the creature is laid out before her, she sits by the fire and thinks about what song she will sing.

And when she is sure, she stands over the criatura, raises her arms over it, and sings out. That is when the rib bones and leg bones of the wolf begin to flesh out and the creature becomes furred. La Loba sings some more, and more of the creature comes into being; its tail curls upward, shaggy and strong.

And La Loba sings more and the wolf creature begins to breathe.

And still La Loba sings so deeply that the floor of the desert shakes, and as she sings, the wolf opens its eyes, leaps up, and runs away down the canyon.

Somewhere in its running, whether by the speed of its running, or by splashing its way into a river, or by way of a ray of sunlight or moonlight hitting it right in the side, the wolf is suddenly transformed into a laughing woman who runs free toward the horizon.

So it is said that if you wander the desert, and it is near sundown, and you are perhaps a little bit lost, and certainly tired, that you are lucky, for La Loba may take a liking to you and show you some thing -- something of the soul.
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http://ambercrystalelf.deviantart.com/art/La-Loba-Bone-Woman-91883351
 
Good idea, although owning certain books to be able to refer back to is always nice. I love the Jungian connection as well. It is this type of reading that puts me at peace. It is both thought provoking and meditative. Again, this is why I enjoy hearing your stories. It is a meditative process.

Here is one of mine...I once had an experience where I was drifting off to sleep, but awake, I feel quite sure. My daughter had hurt her foot and was upset, so she was getting consolation laying by my side and I had her little foot in my hand. I was falling asleep like that when outside my window a chanting began. Men chanting with drums. Btw, this was not entirely surprising. It was a particularly spiritual time of my life and I was receptive to many things unusual. The chanting sounded American Indian or even Hindu, maybe Buddist. I never figured it out. It sounded like a fire dance from far away, another land, ancient times. I never heard anything like it. It seemed like they were dancing. The chanting seemed to be somehow centered upon me or with me in mind. It ended peacefully with repetition of aum.

This is one of many experiences that happen right outside my window. There are more. So, after this happened I remember wanting so much to get up and talk to my husband about it, but it was as if I was hit with an invisible bat. I wasn't hurt, just knocked out. Blacked out or something. It was like a mental overload or something. I wasn't under duress, just my way of processing exceptional events.

The next time I had the kids tucked in bed. I went in to see my husband, who was reading. There was the sound of a flute in the hall, just yards away. My husband said, "who's still up" and I said, "they're asleep, dear. That is not them." I looked up this symbolism the next day on the computer. Six hours later (it felt like minutes) I learned about the boy prince and his lute in Hindu religion.

There are more stories, but this is all I can write.
 
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HolySmoke said:
Good idea, although owning certain books to be able to refer back to is always nice. I love the Jungian connection as well. It is this type of reading that puts me at peace. It is both thought provoking and meditative. Again, this is why I enjoy hearing your stories. It is a meditative process.

Here is one of mine...I once had an experience where I was drifting off to sleep, but awake, I feel quite sure. My daughter had hurt her foot and was upset, so she was getting consolation laying by my side and I had her little foot in my hand. I was falling asleep like that when outside my window a chanting began. Men chanting with drums. Btw, this was not entirely surprising. It was a particularly spiritual time of my life and I was receptive to many things unusual. The chanting sounded American Indian or even Hindu, maybe Buddist. I never figured it out. It sounded like a fire dance from far away, another land, ancient times. I never heard anything like it. It seemed like they were dancing. The chanting seemed to be somehow centered upon me or with me in mind. It ended peacefully with repetition of aum.

This is one of many experiences that happen right outside my window. There are more. So, after this happened I remember wanting so much to get up and talk to my husband about it, but it was as if I was hit with an invisible bat. I wasn't hurt, just knocked out. Blacked out or something. It was like a mental overload or something. I wasn't under duress, just my way of processing exceptional events.

The next time I had the kids tucked in bed. I went in to see my husband, who was reading. There was the sound of a flute in the hall, just yards away. My husband said, "who's still up" and I said, "they're asleep, dear. That is not them." I looked up this symbolism the next day on the computer. Six hours later (it felt like minutes) I learned about the boy prince and his lute in Hindu religion.

There are more stories, but this is all I can write.
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I also see a lot of parallels between the Native American and Hindu and Buddhists. Also
certain Shamanistics as well. Have you read any of the Carlos Castaneda works? Your experience with the dancing and chantings and the aum seems like a hypnogogic experience. This happens to everyone on the verge of falling asleep. Most of the time , most of this is not brought forth into consciousness. I've experienced it some but not
in the way of hearing sounds like that. That seems an enchanting prospect though!
I'd venture to guess this was an experience to do with your healing love you were extending to your girl-child (meaning both your physical one and your inner one)

The "boy prince" you speak of playing the Flute seems like probably krishna. Since you are a Campbell fan, you maybe have heard of him. He is usually depicted as a beautiful blue boy or young man and often playing the Flute and always dancing and always with a smile. He is symbolic of the inner aspect of self that always loves and enjoys.
 
mayflow said:
I also see a lot of parallels between the Native American and Hindu and Buddhists. Also
certain Shamanistics as well. Have you read any of the Carlos Castaneda works? Your experience with the dancing and chantings and the aum seems like a hypnogogic experience. This happens to everyone on the verge of falling asleep.
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Yes, that time of the day is the most meditative period for me, between sleep and wakened states.

This is provoking more thoughts into looking more into these areas, to include your referral mentioned above. From this thread I have looked into different thoughts and discovered some ideas related to the place I live today, one which is also relevant to your experiences...Here was something particularly striking to me. I will pull the site in my next reply, but can't do so on my browser at this time. She calls herself Jeanne and that is all ! ! The rest is undisclosed.

Here is what she said,
Just as we on earth have our shamans, mystics, seers and healers, angels have the unique ability
to travel between the worlds; they're like shamans from the other side. It is said that the difference between humans and angels is that angels do not have free choice, their lives are dedicated to service.

Perhaps those who also dedicate their lives to doing the work of Spirit in the world become "angels"
in their own right, for they give up the free choice to follow the whims of the ego, making service to humankind their main priority. Those who later allow the ego to overcome them again, might be said
to be fallen angels. This does not mean that anyone who does not commit their lives to the service
of God is a fallen angel. A fallen angel would be one who knows better, one who has attained the consciousness of and seen the light of God, yet has chosen the desires of the ego anyway.

I now fall into the later category. Quite literally I had a silver angel piece fall off of my cabinet on the day I realized the extent of it.
 
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For anyone interested in the "Angels" discussion, it can be followed at:
http://thegypsygarden.smfforfree3.com/index.php?topic=1663.msg6650;topicseen#msg6650 :smile:



Then she said this to me:

A human being is all she/he lived through his entire life. A kid as well... If anybody forgot how to dream, how to expect things to happen, how to wait the expected moment, how to get emotioned about nothing...well, here is the moment to recall the material we are all made from.
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Then she looked really really deeply into my eyes. I forgot where I was, what everything was, what was supposed to be. Everything, and she said "Welcome to my world". I said "Yeah, well everybody has their own world, don't they?" and she softly said "No, I wish they did, but they don't", and I thought "Well, some of them shouldn't, should they"? And she smiled again (God, I love that smile), and said "They do, but they don't always make them so sweet as I do"...

I said "I thought you said they didn't create their own worlds", and she replied "They really do, but so often, it is not their own creation, but they are just following someone else's lead". I said "Is that so bad?", and she looked, so very softly, into my eyes again, and simply said "Yes". "Ok" I thought, "Like, I am not confused enough, already". She laughed at that, and I felt happy, and I fell asleep...Very very deeply asleep...


She came to me in this deeper sleep, and took me by the hand. I knew my body was still lying down sleeping but some part of me arose and I felt this scintillating sensation run through me, and we rose up into the air and somewhere into space. She said "The world you are normally aware of, is just a very small fragmentation of the whole of things". I said "I think I am beginning to see this". She laughed again and said "Out of the mouths of babes come sometimes the truest of words!".

She continued "I like your naivety, and your willingness to accept what has been withheld from you up until now". I asked why it been witheld, and she said because I had lived too much in ordinary acceptance of what I had been taught, and that the subconscious portion of my mind had been too filled with fears. She continued, "When you go back into a normal sleep, you will receive a new dream.

In this dream three men will be attempting to rob you. Partly into the dream you will partly realize it is a dream. This recognition will get stronger and stronger as the dream gains momentum. Realize, when you are cogizant enough to do so, that these dream characters are just a creation of a deeper portion of your mind which is offering you help. Talk to the dream characters in what ever way you wish when this happens.

When the dream ends and you are awakened from it, I will come again to help you out a little more, understand?".
I nodded "Yes", and the deep dream subsided and a more normal sleep enveloped...


The dream happened just as she had said, and when I realized what was going on, I started talking with the dream characters. I tried to explain that they and I were all parts of the same being, and it made no sense for them to try to rob me, but they didn't seem to listen. So I sat down and said "Look, you guys, there is a thing called 'Karma'. If you hurt or rob someone, then you are really only just hurting yourselves!"! This seemed to ring a sort of bell with them, and then I awakened, and she came to my side and said "Wonderful, Wonderful! Great great words. See, I knew you weren't so bad! Now listen closely. You are awake now. The beings in the dream were just creations of your mind. When you spoke to them, you spoke to yourself. What you said to them, you said to yourself. Now they are not here anymore. They were aberrations, but you will have many, many more of these mental aberrations to deal with soon"! And, then she smiled that oh-so-sweet smile...I wasn't so sure if I should be scared or happy ...or maybe both. I felt kinda excited, er' like maybe more like really super-excited, and she said "Slow down, mellow out, we've only just begun this journey!"! "Heartbeat" I thought, "Slow down", we've a long road yet to travel!"! She smiled and gently touched my eyelids with her fingertips, and said "Next time, I will teach you a little bit about how to meditate." Sounded great to me!
 
Your writings truly are beyond beauty Mayflow. I did a reading a while back and a guide relayed her thoughts about fear to me and I don't know why I'm passing them on other than you mentioned it was an issue on one of the previous posting and perhaps it can help you and maybe even me by relaying it.Anyway,here goes..
"It is a waste of energy fearing the unknown.Each time we give in to fear it is a small piece of death.The fear of the unknown is a blocking of our ability to evolve.The only way to know if there is something to fear is to take it and experience it .The best way to get over your fear is to simply do it,and then you will know that fear lives on the unknowness of the things we fear.If we open our arms to it and embrace it,only then do we know if we have to carry the fear."

Quite ironically,when I started reading this thread I got fearful as dreams frighten me to be honest,not that I remember them a lot..Anyway,half way down Sumone said that "When I read it I feel both excited and scared." and that was enough to stop me reading .I left it for a day or so and felt drawn back to reading it and after embracing my fear,I can see that there is nothing to fear on this thread and my fear did indeed exist on the unknowness of the content of the thread.I don't know why I'm posting this either but I copied it from a different channel the other day;

"B"
IS FOR BOLD
TRANSLATION: BY STEPPING FORWARD AND SPEAKING UP, YOU ESTABLISH A CLAUSE IN YOUR LIFE THAT PERMITS YOU TO BE BRAVE IN ALL YOU DO. WHEN FACED WITH AN APPROACHING CHOICE, ALWAYS CHOOSE BOLD.
 
mayflow said:
I said "I thought you said they didn't create their own worlds", and she replied "They really do, but so often, it is not their own creation, but they are just following someone else's lead". I said "Is that so bad?", and she looked, so very softly, into my eyes again, and simply said "Yes". "Ok" I thought, "Like, I am not confused enough, already". She laughed at that, and I felt happy, and I fell asleep...Very very deeply asleep...

The dream happened just as she had said...So I sat down and said "Look, you guys, there is a thing called 'Karma'. If you hurt or rob someone, then you are really only just hurting yourselves!"! ... The beings in the dream were just creations of your mind. When you spoke to them, you spoke to yourself. What you said to them, you said to yourself.
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This is confusing. I understand that people follow false leads without perhaps much thought. Is what she is saying that people base their own realities off of other's leads that are untrue, perhaps delusions? Or, people reshape their personal realities to suit them, but it is based on others realities or influence. I believe this and see this around me, but isn't that good in some circumstances? I'm rereading Campbell and one statement he made was something along the lines that the archetypes are necessary from a psychological, societal, universal perspective and without these new structures may be tried, but will inevitably fail. They just simply are and can't be changed.

I need to add in here that I just picked up "The Singularity is Near" and it talks about how human evolution and intelligence will suddenly grow exponentially and may rip the fabric of human society to shreds. I will be reading this book all day today because the implications are important to us in light of Campbell's work.

...In your next description of your dream, you used simple words to display a complex point. Simple but accurate. I am working through her reply that when you spoke to them you spoke to yourself, your fears. You can rely upon Karma to assist you from others harm. Can we then rely upon Karma to assist ourselves from hurting ourselves as well? Preventive medicine and we can rest assured with that notion, perhaps, that it exists. My feelings about Karma is that, for me, it is instantaneous. When bad, it's like stepping on a rake. When good, it is extreme peace or laughter, happiness and connectedness.

Please continue.
 
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Karma as I understand it is like a vast and intricate web. All the actions and thoughts and words of all of us interact - and this includes the archetypes amd stories and myths from the past and where we go with this now will create our futures as well.

Will there come a time for a major breakthrough like in the hundredth monkey principle (critical mass?) Sure, there probably will. This is a principle that applied to individuals as well as groups and societies. Individual Karma is normally considered to be less a result of actions and words than of the thoughts, motivations and intentions involved, and these can be highly complex and mixed.

Buddha, way back 2,600 years ago or so predicted that one day the Sun will gain heat manyfold of what it now has and then go out. Nowdays we know the Sun will eventually Nova and have that similar effect... this is likely billions of years away. Buddha also said that water-based life as we know it will then disappear from the Earth, but that humanity by then will have evolved into beings of Light and Spirit and will survive.

Some of this is covered in the book "The Celestine Prophecies" as well. It's an easy read and somewhat simplisitic but the insights are pretty interesting.
 
mayflow said:
Karma as I understand it is like a vast and intricate web. All the actions and thoughts and words of all of us interact - and this includes the archetypes amd stories and myths from the past and where we go with this now will create our futures as well.

Will there come a time for a major breakthrough like in the hundredth monkey principle (critical mass?) Sure, there probably will.
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The book I'm reading on Singularity really seems to hit this point on critical mass through technology.

I also came across this today at the democraticunderground website. I found it all very useful because I have been feeling so much weight and such a formidable feeling of change I pick up on the fears and anxieties around me and absorb it. I also run here to reenergize, balance, understand, knowing that this change is positive, but extremely disruptive from a small to large scale, internally, externally and it is affecting how I relate to the world.

Here is a quote from that site, which I think reflects today's events and general atmosphere of change.
"the supreme technique necessary for the continuation of all manifestations of power and spiritual understanding...The transmission is from person to person, it follows a general, unchanging pattern, yet it operates in terms of particular and individual circumstances. Investiture. So this symbol is also carrying the Uranian/Piscean energies as it confronts Saturn/Virgo on Nov. 4. Certainly we will be attempting "a transfer of power" on that day so as to keep the cycle going through continuity of a pattern. I suppose one might examine this current cycle and wonder how mundane events like a presidential race fit into this more esoteric message. While on the one hand I see us nearing the end of a very long cycle in our human history, I wonder whether it should collapse (failure) or whether it should continue (spiritual continuity). Or would a Uranian collapse in the mundane sense of old patterns, structures and values, etc. (rather than in the spiritual sense) actually serve to remove what has become an obstacle to spiritual evolution?...What elements must be maintained for continuity (both mundane and spiritual) and which are obstacles that must come down?"
 
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A few days later I had woman at work get really all mad at me. I hadn't done anything that I knew of for this to happen, and in fact I really really had always liked her. Confused me very much, and I had no idea of how to think or respond. I stopped at a really beautiful public park on the way home, and started to walk around. I tried to figure out just what had happened. It didn't make any sense at all to me, but I was not in the best frame of mind! I was angry in a way, but it wasn't really anger, it was just confusion. I kept going over and over in my mind, about why she was upset towards me.

"She" (RG) appeared again, and walked along beside me and she grinned. I think that angered me even more. No, I knew it did! Now I was pissed off that I was being laughed at by the only "being" I had ever known who seemed to actually care nothing else than of how to be of help to me! I felt I had been completely and totally let down! "Why are you here then?" I asked. "Just here to mock me, and act all fucking superior?".

"Oh" she rplied, "Is my poor little darling all upset because everyone else on earth does not fit into your little minded opinions of how they should"? OUCH! Ok, that hurt! NOW, I was really angry towards her! She pushed me, and I pushed back. Then she grabbed me and twirled around and threw me down, and then she got up and put a finger on my chest and said "Just lie there, and don't get up"!!

I said "I thought you were going to teach me how to meditate"! She laughed and she said "Step One"!!!

Then she laid down by my side. She touched her arm to my arm and pressed her shoulder against mine. She said "Please don't think that way?". I fought back a few tears and I said that I was sorry, and she said "Oh, don't be! You just reacted to me honestly! That is a good thing. It shows that you trust me not to react back in anger to you. Do you glean a lesson from this?".

"Yeah" I replied. "I should do the same for my friend as you have done for me here?".
"Yes, you should offer her the gift of non-harm and acceptance. She does not have that from everyone around her and dear and important to her, and she is frustrated by this, but she instinctively knows she is safe with you. Do not ever ever betray that trust!".

I said "If I did, would you do the same to me?". She grabbed my head and turned it towards her and said "Do you even need to ask?". "No". "Then do the same for her as I do for you, please?". I said "Sure". What else could I say? Then she said "Look up into the sky now, and tell me what you see". "Clouds, lots of clouds". She smiled and said "No, not the clouds, silly, the sky!". I said "Well, the sky beyond the clouds?". "Yes, the sky beyond the clouds. Just how slow is your comprehension?". Ouch, again. "Well, the sky beyond the clouds, seems clear, I guess?". (I was definitely confused by this time). She smiled and said "You are not quite ready to meditate yet. Let's say you stick to contemplation for now. You see how not to react to anger with anger for now. Step Two!".
 
I said "I think I still react to anger with anger sometimes".

"Sure you do, darling, but at least you are cognizant of doing so, and you wish to change it. That will work just fine. Be patient, and perservere, and retain your love for me, and we can work this through, ok?".

"Ok". No way was I going to let go of my love for her at this point in time. Just no damned way!

She took me by the hands and said "Let's sit up and face each other". We did and she looked at me kindly for a while and asked "Will you do some things for me, just because you trust me, and for no other reasons, even if they seem to not make much sense to you"?

"Sure, I will be happy to. I trust you completely".

"First, just write me something. Don't think about it. Don't copy something you have heard or thought before. Just make it different, make it new, but don't worry as to whether it seems to make any sense or not, ok?".

"Ok, but why"? I replied.

"Just to establish trust between us, and a chance for some new revelations, you may have never considered before, ok, my darling?"?

"Ok, but don't expect anything so good here, please"?

She laughed and touched me playfully and said (as she kept giggling) "Don't worry, I don't"! Then she really started cracking up, but regained a little composure. She was still all red in the face as she said "Just do it, and we will take if from there, ok?"?


OK. (Here is what I came up with)...
In the underworld energies that people can't see but are the real motivating forces that really run the world, there lived a cherished little girl. She lived on rice and pudding and her mom was not a mom and her dad was not a dad, and her body not a body of flesh and bone but a body of light.

I met her once and I was taken for life, and I tried to ask her to stay, but she just laughed with delight, and said she couldn't leave me even if she wanted to, and why would she want to, and that I didn't make any sense at all in what I was saying and thinking.

I said that I was only flesh and blood and doomed to death and she turned into a little girl and grew older and older by the second until she was on her deathbed, and then finally a stinky corpse and then a skeleton, then bones, and ash. I could see her smile in the smile of a flower and her laugh in the flashes of lightning and feel her sweetness in the rain...I watched a leaf fall to the ground and knew that I had found her once again...


I watched as she read this, and her eyes just sparkled with delight. She said "Do you remember the first time you learned of death? You didn't see it then as a leaf just falling to the ground, in order to rejuvinate the world, now did you, dear"?

"You mean when my mom died? I was 15. I wasn't ready. I couldn't understand".

"No, think further back".

"Dad?".

"Keep going".

I remembered some deaths of friends, family, schoolmates, and neighbors. I said "Look, deaths just happen. It is the way the world of flesh and blood works, whether I like it or not".

She nodded in agreement, but added "Keep going back".

"Ok, I think I know where you are going with this, but I don't know that I like this".

"Did I ask you to like it"?

"No, I guess you didn't, but we are not really talking about death anymore, now are we, sweetheart"?

"No, we are not, sweetheart" she replied with at least as much sarcasm on the word "sweetheart" as I had placed to her.

I thought for a while here. Everything between her and I had really been about light and love before, but now there seemed to be almost an antagonism happening. I said "You are not flesh and blood, but you are spirit. I can see this, and I am not as stupid as you may think!".

She grabbed me and hugged me, and pushed back away and said "Nice to see you can generate some spirit of your own, sweet darling, and nice to see you have finally come to understand the life and death and life again process. Next, maybe we can discuss the more spiritual side of more mental processes, my little "not-so-stupid one"? Then she started walking slowly away. I yelled to her and she turned around and smiled and waved, and I waved back, and then she kept walking along, as I watched.

"What an interesting woman", I thought.
 
She sorta disappeared from my life for a while after that, and I wondered why, and I thought "Well she is spirit and I am flesh and blood, so for Christ sakes, why did she even bother with me in the first fucking place?"

Then I thought about that thought of mine. Why did I think "for Christ's sake"? I thought, "If she does for some odd reason, come around to talk with me again, I want to ask her if she knows anything about religion and such things".

Well, it turned out that she did come back around and I did get a chance to ask her. She smiled and patted me on the head and hugged me and said "I will send you a dream. You think about the dream".

"Ummm" I answered "I think YOU are my dream?". She smiled rather sheepishly, and replied "Yeah, that is truly so, but there are more than just one dream for you to dream, sweetheart!"!!!

"Huh"?

I had been walking in the park and thinking to myself for a while, and then had lied down by a little creek to listen to the sounds of the water. It was in those sounds that I had heard her voice over the chatterings of the outside world.

She continued by saying "Just relax, and let your inner mind take over and don't try to be so over-controlling of others or of your environment".

"How can I do that? I need to survive, I need to have..."

"You need to have nothing" she interrupted. "You have everything you need. It has always been there and always been provided. You, yourself provide it, baby!"!

"Huh"?

"Oh you have so much to learn, don't you?. Just keep your mind open, and when the dream happens, realize that you are dreaming. You really won't have to make that happen, but just let it happen. Don't panic, don't get all afraid, don't worry about needing control". Then she looked at me for a little while as if she were studying something, and she said: "No, it is not yet time for you to do this. I will send you some other dreams first. Study them well, please?". I said "I will try."
 
mayflow said:
...

Then I thought about that thought of mine. Why did I think "for Christ's sake"? I thought, "If she does for some odd reason, come around to talk with me again, I want to ask her if she knows anything about religion and such things".
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Great question. Your ephemeral one, I imagine her answer would clarify the need for religion for many, yet with a soothing word or two on how many choose to unknowingly distort it for personal gain, the original purpose and message lost. Did you ever get to ask her that at some point?

Interesting how she is always wanting you to interpret your dreams, the world of the unconscious, the universal source of symbols that contain the fears, desires and anxieties that are suppressed for sake of personal survival and structure in the social fabric of our cultures. What did you subsequently dream?
 
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Subsequent dream:

In the next dream I had, it was like I could feel the power she was telling me of. I guess I might have gotten a little carried away, though. I became aware of being in the dream as I was being chased to the edge of a cliff.

I got really super-exhilarated at that point and decided I could fly like an Eagle in the sky. It worked pretty well for a while. I was catching air currents and floating and seeing gorgeous sites in earth and sky, but a big old boulder appeared in my arms out of nowhere. I went plummeting into the gulley. Into the depths of the Earth below.

After the briefest moment of panic, I had to laugh. It was like watching a cartoon. I knew it was a dream, so why not ride it? Hmmm? Nice to ride dreams, isn't it? I rode the dream into the gulley. I went down with the rock underneath me. Why not?

I went deep into the Earth. Underneath the frailness of it's poor surface. Digging through the dirt, finding old bones scattered everywhere. Seeing faces, beings incredulous; too incredulous to be! Eyes open wide in the pouring sands, I rose, up again, to the surface. I walked along in the gulley, all full of dust, totally lost, thinking "O Yes, this is the way it is meant to be, I wonder what will happen next?"?

She appeared next to me, walking along with me, and took my hand, and we danced a very sweet dance. She giggled and laughed and said "Be careful, sweetheart, you don't know what you are getting into"...

I thought "I never do anymore now that I have met you! I really don't!"!
Her reply? "Life is sweet, when hearts like ours meet."
 
Why is it so that I feel like you have described my life in this dream. This ascending then descending to the earth to love amongst the incredulous, my heart standing right next to me, my husband, my children.

I won't say to much more, but with everything it's equal and opposite...the climb and the fall (boulder) to earth. The process not to be feared...With baited breath, I will certainly wait to hear more ! :)
 
A few days later, I was reading a book. She appeared from out of
nowhere and sat down and looked at me. I just continued to read, aware that she was there, but absorbed into my thoughts as well. I looked up after a bit and smiled at her. She smiled back. She said "You are more comfortable with yourself, within yourself, now, aren't you darling?".

I was. I knew it. "Following your dreams and being comfortable with them is very good for you", she said.
Isn't it good for everyone to do that?" I asked.

"NO, not really".
"Why not"?
"It is necessary to follow INNER DREAMS, but people don't, as a rule".
"What do you mean"?
"They follow trends, wishes, desires, outer teachings".
"I follow desires, too!".
"You follow a desire for inner freedom. You want to be that which creates. That is different".
"Huh"?

"Look at your night time dreams. They tell you of your deeper desires, but also of your deeper fears. This is why I send you dreams. This is why I help you with gaining a deeper nderstanding of them".
"Huh"?

She rolled her eyes at the second 'huh', but she laughed at it, too. "Look, the last dream told you to let go of the desire to have control over outer circumstances. It told you to enjoy whatever life, and one day, death will bring to you. It told you that if you are in tune with the Universe, it will play with you, and you will enjoy to play with it, as well".

I didn't want to just say 'huh' for a third time, so I said, "What"? She completely cracked up again, and started laughing so really hard. I smiled at her, and she said "You have a very good sense of humor". Step 3!

I said "I somehow think I am learning". She said "You are gaining inner confidence as a result of losing your fears".

Ok, I didn't want to play the huh thing again and I figured I had to come up with something worth saying, so I asked "Where do we go from here? Is it all up to me? Do I need to do it alone? Are you going to leave me now?".

"I am not going to leave you. I wouldn't, I won't. Would you leave me?".

"Crap, I don't even know how to find you. I don't even know where you come from. I never know when you will show up or when you wll leave".

"That, my dear, is a part of why you won't leave me".

I thought about this for a moment and said "You and I are a part of one-another, aren't we"?

She said "Duh!"

Hmmm...
 
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