Relationship Advice - Longdistance with ISTJ

[Nixie]

I laughed at the "tested positive for ISTJ part" of your OP.

As mean and unromantic as it sounds, I agree with @Vict. It is all well and fine to develop a nice friendship over the interwebz but getting into some type of continents away type of relationship?

To me it sounds as if you are infatuated with the idea of being with someone. There are women who write to men in prison who harbor this desire to feel like they are "in" a relationship without having the burden of actually having the person there. Your situation sounds a lot like that to me. At 18, to commit to the IDEA of relationship and hold yourself away from ACTUAL women, is pretty unhealthy if you ask me.

I would suggest you dial it back and if you can't accept your contact with her as JUST a friendship, that you cease contact. Start working on meeting a real person (one you can actually touch right now) to have a real relationship with.

 

[acd]

I also tested istj positive.

I think it is normal to become obsessed when you break open the seemingly unopenable. Don't fall for her, she'll only break your heart.

ISTJ=Full-blown AIDS.

 

[Bird]

You say you want to do something. I think you should focus on your
schoolwork and improve your grades as well as your self. Use this
relationship and these experiences and emotions to learn more about
who you are as a person. This is a time in your life where you discover
who you are. Continue to talk to this girl but do not forget to prioritize
yourself.

 

[Lavendel]

I can relate a lot to what you are describing: that feeling, the pressure on the chest, or is it in the chest, the expanding, excrutiating, suffocating feeling, you don't know if you are extatic or close to a mental break down, when the thought of the person makes you feel like fainting. I started talking to this wonderful guy last febuary, and I felt a strong connection at once. But it was a silly idea, he lived in England, and I live in Sweden. But we continued talking, and I started having daydreams and fantasies, really getting pissed off at myself. We started talking on video, and I was lost: he was the handsomest guy I ever seen, way out my league. And then one day, he sent me a drawing. Of me. And told me he liked me. From then I was a train wreck, couldn't stop thinking about him, the promise, he would visit me in 8 weeks. The time went slow, I felt like I was going mad.

When I finally met him at the airport I almost fainted. And there he was, walking towards me, his suitcase dragging behind him. I didn't know what to say, and suddenly I had his arms around me, and I found myself shaking like a leaf, until he looked down at me, said "hi" and kissed me.

Now he lives with me here in Sweden, since September, and in January we are moving to England since I have an exchange at a university. He is the love of my life, I am so happy with him.
I'm not saying these things are without risk, it's scary as fuck, and you can get hurt. But what would life be if you wouldn't take chances. It might be just right.

 

[Cerce]

Thank you. Thank you all, very, very much. I honestly can't stress how grateful I am for an outside viewpoint on this.
[MENTION=5172]Lavendel[/MENTION] , that's exactly what it feels like - minus the feinting. And, from the way she behaves and talks, she is the same way. I, personally, am not afraid of getting hurt - rather, I'm afraid of hurting her.

I think, from the advice that a number of you have given, the best bet is to set my viewpoint on something far down the line, and not rush into this. Something like 6 years from now, or when both of us are stable and ready. I know that it is a possibility that I am fantasizing over her, and making her to be more than she really is - but that's not what this feels like. I know she could be putting forth a false 'mask', but not from what I've seen of her other friends that talk about her to me. This seems like a real thing, not a simple fling. Maybe I'm obsessing over having someone to spend the rest of my life with - but the alternative of living without the goal of loving and being loved... I don't really want to think of that, it's so dark.

EDIT: Also, sorry for the 'Tested Positive for ISTJ' statement - it's not some disease, it's just what she tested for xD