Relationship Problem

Sadie said:
It really sounds like what you are needing now is a friend and not a girlfriend. Do you have any other women friends that can fill that need for you? I mean women that don't want to be romantically involved with you. You have a tough decision to make. It's one of those that doesn't have an easy answer and no matter what you do somebody gets hurt. Rock and a hard place kinda thing.

These are the kinds of decisions nobody can really teach us how to handle cause a lot of it has to do with morals. What's the right thing to do? For you? For them? Finding that is tough in situations like this. "It's not hard to do the right thing. It's hard to know what the right thing is. Once you know, it's hard not to do it". Maybe things don't need to be all or nothing. Maybe there are more options you just can't see right now. I have no idea what they are. But I have found that if I follow my truth and my conscience even when it's freaken hard as crap to do, sometimes things happen that totally surprise me and what I need shows up for me. Maybe not in the way I thought it would or from the person or place I thought it would come from. Be honest with yourself and with them. Let your conscience lead you. Then let the chips fall where they may. It sounds like you already know a lot of this though. You're right this is a soap opera. But then, who's life isn't :becky:
Click to expand...

Haha do women on here count? :D Thanks for the advice though, I think I know what I need to do but it's not going to be fun.
 
jimtaylor said:
I know and sometimes... Actually most of the time I am just so stubborn. I hate giving up and I know it's not giving up but to me it feels like it. It feels like I am giving up on her but I'm starting to realize its not and see that we could both grow so much from this. She is starting to see that too and it is in part because of the advice you gave me. I have been working on taking care of myself and this one of the last things I need to tie up before I can fully move on. I see know that the pain and difficulty of it could make us both stronger and capable of loving someone else even more in the future. It honestly is just so hard because there is that comfort level in the known. Where the unknown is just that unknown. I wanted her to be my one and only and it hurts that it's not turning out that way. I've finally been able to recognize that hurt.
Click to expand...

Yes. Sweet jimtaylor.... I know exactly what you mean. ..and it hurts....

I'm sorry for your pain and your impending loss. :hug:

Find as many hugs as you can stand to help you make your way through this. But don't get distracted with the mights and the maybe's and the shoulda.. woulda ..coulda ..ssss.

Those other girls are not for you right now. They are holding you down.
 
jimtaylor said:
Haha do women on here count? :D Thanks for the advice though, I think I know what I need to do but it's not going to be fun.
Click to expand...

Sorry if I got a little preachy. I'm working on toning that down. When I get like that my kids tell me I sound like a televangelist. That's my cue to chill out :becky:
 
It's quite obvious what you need to do.
 
First impressions from OP, Selfish
 
Sadie said:
Sorry if I got a little preachy. I'm working on toning that down. When I get like that my kids tell me I sound like a televangelist. That's my cue to chill out :becky:
Click to expand...

No, not at all. I asked for advice and you gave some great advice. I appreciate it a lot.
 
Billy said:
youre 22...

theres nothing but Drama
its DEFINITELY worth the work, trust me on this one.
you will wish you had at some point.
Click to expand...

Haha I feel a lot older than 22...
 
Billy said:
feeling older and being older are 2 separate things. You may be wise for your years, but you cannot intuit experience.
Click to expand...

That is true but I guess just with feeling older, there isn't the desire as much for that. Priorities change
 
jimtaylor said:
That is true but I guess just with feeling older, there isn't the desire as much for that. Priorities change
Click to expand...

I feel a lot older too at my age and I relate to you on that.

I find as I get older and experience more (even as young as I am), I'm able to predict how certain experiences with certain people may pan out. So not all experiences can be predicted but sometimes you just feel that hunch or gut feeling when it comes to someone... or even a situation. I believe that those hunches are there for a reason and the times where I didn't listen to them were the times that I really wish I did.

Also, sometimes as people get older, they hold out on their impulses... and there is nothing wrong with that. Self-restraint is great thing because it helps you realize your TRUE wants and needs.
 
jimtaylor said:
That is true but I guess just with feeling older, there isn't the desire as much for that. Priorities change
Click to expand...


Yes, they do change, something you will come to understand over the next few years as you become the man youre going to become. Just remember one thing, you only get to be 22 once, you only get 1 crack at being this young and free of responsibility. Dont waste that because you WILL regret it later.
 
I think taking Billy's advice about exploring your youth is sound. Not so sure about getting invloved in the three way though. LOL However, you seem overly serious natured [MENTION=2710]jimtaylor[/MENTION]. I would hope that you find a middle ground between your serious nature and enjoying your youth. Not every decision is life shattering and people get over hurt. You have to be comfortable making decisions because you will be making them all your life. Continuously agonizing over stuff isn't productive and it is a sucky coping mechanism--almost passive agressive really.
 
You are doing a disservice to Girl A by keeping her around. Its passive, and women hate passive.
Break it off before it gets worse. Hope to God she doesn't take it too personally, since you said yourself it has more to do with you needing space to defrag your brain and reprogram.
She isn't a crutch, don't treat her like one because you feel conflicted about being alone.
Stop it.

-Anna
 
It's done. I broke it off with Girl A last night after 2 1/2 years... She begged me to reconsider... That she can't live without me and that I am the best thing in her life... Would have rather her hate me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top