Right to disappoint me

[Jana]

Do you sometimes have need to give that to someone?
In your head.
Because you like someone, but you are afraid of disappointment and can't be relax as you would wish.
Then at one moment you think: Ok, you have that right for me because I need you in my life. Because it has to be something between us...
I felt freedom when I felt that. I expect a lot, but I don't care what is that person. I don't care..for now.

 

[Nixie]

I don't know that I understand [MENTION=1069]Jana[/MENTION]
Are you speaking of expectations? Giving up expectations or allowing someone to not always fit your ideal? If that is the case, I tend to try and remember that someone is human--it doesn't stop me from feeling sad, angry or disappointed but it does help ground me in understanding that those feelings are mine.

I usually won't tell someone if they hurt me until I have analyzed the situation carefully. I usually come to the conclusion that the feelings were generated by my own little heart and tend not to bother the other person with the details. If I come to the conclusion that the other person did something delierately--I still won't say something. Rather I will wait and see if it is a pattern or just some random incident.

So, if I am disappointed, I won't say anything. Many times emotions are fleeting and not really worth acting on.

 

[Trifoilum]

I remember that we're still human, but I sure as hell won't ignore the feeling of disappointment, even when I choose to brush it off.

 

[Nixie]

I remember that we're still human, but I sure as hell won't ignore the feeling of disappointment, even when I choose to brush it off.

LOL @Trifoilum "brush it off" you make it sound so bad...I believe I stated that emotions were fleeting and not worth acting on most of the time--this didn't indicate I wasn't/didn't feel the emotion, only that I normally choose not to act on it.

I am pretty sure that this demonstrates why I consistently test as an INTJ

 

[Jana]

I don't know that I understand @Jana

[MENTION=3096]NDN NT[/MENTION]
I am not myself sure what I want to say. Very confusing feeling. It is about someone I care. That person has huge area of unknown and undefined inside. Something I can't get and it confuses me. But I don't get negative vibe. More as I said: udefined. But I like that friend, so I decided to stick to friendship no matter what hides in grey area...I am sure I'll find what is sooner or later. So, just in case that it is something I don't want to see at the moment: I decided that it is irrelevant...for me.

 

[lucidflutterby]

I know what you mean. I do give that right. That unconditional acceptance. I have my boundaries, but before them it is pretty much free game. I don't allow myself to be hurt or disappointed. I rise above it. I know it will be different from my wants, but I free myself of them. Then I feel better with it. I feel above my pleasures and desires or conditionings of how it should be. It just is. That is my definition of unconditional love.

 

[Gaze]

I know what you mean. I do give that right. That unconditional acceptance. I have my boundaries, but before them it is pretty much free game. I don't allow myself to be hurt or disappointed. I rise above it. I know it will be different from my wants, but I free myself of them. Then I feel better with it. I feel above my pleasures and desires or conditionings of how it should be. It just is. That is my definition of unconditional love.

This^^^

 

[acd]

It is usually the other way around for me... I have to give myself the right to disappoint others.
I'm usually way more forgiving of others than I am myself. But I can see how others would need to allow others grace. It's good. Either way, being realistic about expectations is a good thing.

 

[lenina]

i give people whose attention i want the opportunity to make me happy. rather than ask how do i look and i ask don't i look nice. everyone's happy. in terms of right to disappoint, this i suppose i need work on, because although i make do, some people really disappoint me.

 

[Troisi]

I don't hold expectations for anyone but myself. I don't believe I'm entitled to anything.