Well, I've been to hell, navigated my way through it, and navigated my way out of it. But once you've been there, you know it. As I'm sure many here would agree. The darkness will always be known to you. And every time you get depressed, or happy, just the fact that you've met parts of youself that would elsewise have been dormant, you have confidence that you can appropriate each emotion with more accuracy. As disgusting as her death was, my God it was a gift.