Self-expression in professional settings.

No one is saying to not be yourself. You can still be yourself, and not wear all your piercings in when you go to work! If your physical image is SO much apart of your individuality, I question your maturity and self-proclaimed "individuality." You shouldn't rely solely on just clothes and tattoos to express yourself. Let your personality do that for you.
 
Vagrant and TK* combined have it dead on. Perfect.
 
Is there a type that is an incessant individualist, or incessant about being an individualist? Is this more common behavior of an INFJ or an INFP? Moreover, I have heard that INTJ's are pretty incessant on being themselves. I am speaking more in terms of self-expression though.
 
I don't intend to be mean, but to me it sounds like deep down you have a crisis regarding your 'individuality'. It's like TK said: your appearance is but a reflection of who you are, but it doesn't make or break it if you have to change how you look for a little while. You insist so much on sporting a certain fashion like your life depends on it, that I do wonder if you're trully so confident about yourself as to rely so much on a certain point of your outwards appearance.

Also, you keep searching for answers within the mbti types: "is this type more like this or that type more like that?". In my opinion, the mbti system is something to go by, but not something that 'makes' you; you make it and acknowledge it and not the other way around. However, you seem intent on making it sound like being one type or another would have such a great influence over certain actions, as if it was the type controlling you and not you simply being an individual character.

In all, I do agree that one has to keep their own individuality and persona in a professional setting. Especially in psychotherapy and other psychology fields, because one of the main points about serving people's needs is being 'genuine, natural and yourself'. You can't cause comfort in someone if you're putting on a mask, that much is true.

However, this demonstration of yourself has to come across through your voice, your eyes, your body language... not so much by what you wear or how you comb your hair.

Fair enough, pig tails aren't a big deal. They might provoke a more childish effect, but I don't supose it would cause any distress in the patients. However, if I go into the office and I see that my counsellor has his/her face tattoed, three piercings on each eyebrow, flesh holes on each ear and another one in his lip... well, I'm not saying he can't be the greatest counsellor ever, which he might just be. But the first impression I get is not the one that me -the patient with moral/mental issues, who is probably scared or in conflict or distressed with herself, who took this as a last resource only after much considering- expects to see. It doesn't evoke the sense of familiarity that professionals in this field must have. This type of sittuation can have any effect on the person seeking help: they might withdraw and become unable to totally confide in the counsellor, they might get distracted (as someone mentioned) or they might just get used to it after a while if they can trust the counsellor beyond the appearance.

For each person you'll get a different reaction, but for what it's worth, if you're working to serve people in their darkest hours, and for even the slightest chance that the person might be unsettled by your outwards appearance, you should consider and adapt it. Be yourself, but let others be themselves as well. This is my opinion.
 
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Onyrica said:
I don't intend to be mean, but to me it sounds like deep down you have a crisis regarding your 'individuality'. It's like TK said: your appearance is but a reflection of who you are, but it doesn't make or break it if you have to change how you look for a little while. You insist so much on sporting a certain fashion like your life depends on it, that I do wonder if you're trully so confident about yourself as to rely so much on a certain point of your outwards appearance.

Also, you keep searching for answers within the mbti types: "is this type more like this or that type more like that?". In my opinion, the mbti system is something to go by, but not something that 'makes' you; you make it and acknowledge it and not the other way around. However, you seem intent on making it sound like being one type or another would have such a great influence over certain actions, as if it was the type controlling you and not you simply being an individual character.

In all, I do agree that one has to keep their own individuality and persona in a professional setting. Especially in psychotherapy and other psychology fields, because one of the main points about serving people's needs is being 'genuine, natural and yourself'. You can't cause comfort in someone if you're putting on a mask, that much is true.

However, this demonstration of yourself has to come across through your voice, your eyes, your body language... not so much by what you wear or how you comb your hair.

Fair enough, pig tails aren't a big deal. They might provoke a more childish effect, but I don't supose it would cause any distress in the patients. However, if I go into the office and I see that my counsellor has his/her face tattoed, three piercings on each eyebrow, flesh holes on each ear and another one in his lip... well, I'm not saying he can't be the greatest counsellor ever, which he might just be. But the first impression I get is not the one that me -the patient with moral/mental issues, who is probably scared or in conflict or distressed with herself, who took this as a last resource only after much considering- expects to see. It doesn't evoke the sense of familiarity that professionals in this field must have. This type of sittuation can have any effect on the person seeking help: they might withdraw and become unable to totally confide in the counsellor, they might get distracted (as someone mentioned) or they might just get used to it after a while if they can trust the counsellor beyond the appearance.

For each person you'll get a different reaction, but for what it's worth, if you're working to serve people in their darkest hours, and for even the slightest chance that the person might be unsettled by your outwards appearance, you should consider and adapt it. Be yourself, but let others be themselves as well. This is my opinion.
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To be quite honest, I don't know why the mbti is so important to me, and why I am *H bent on figuring out my type. It matters to me... I guess because I want to feel like I know something. I am trying to be "me," aside from the mbti, and I've never felt accepted for me, nor have I ever truly felt a part of something other than ACOA, and thank God I have it and for it... it has been a blessing. I feel understood there and loved and not judged.

Anyway, I just get so upset how people make such quick, artificial judgments about people with out even knowing them... I have been the recipient of many of those judgments, as have many of my friends, and it deeply upsets me. I am just expressing concern... it helps to express.

I am adament about expression and individuality.
 
I'm not judging you. I'm commenting on what I've seen in many of your posts around the forum. I never said anything about your personality, but rather the point that you seem so concerned about in this topic which you opened so we could comment on.

I also commented about the mbti because I notice you keep going back to it, both for yourself and others. I've just seen about 3 posts in which you've 'judged' people about them not being INFJ, but other types, which indicates that you, yourself, are making an evaluation of other people's personality. However, this is not a judgment on you, but on your posts. As I said, I've still not said anything about you as a person, or have I?

I'm also all out for expression and individuality, so that's why I expressed my own opinion. Most of my post was directed to the thoughts I have over the topic you started and how I think individuality comes by other means than just physical appearance. This, I think, is nothing worth getting upset for.

In any case, sorry for any discomfort I might've caused.
 
I think that is up to you, you can see for yourself what will work and what won't. You may try giving therapy to your clients with your pigtails and see what happens, use the power of perception. It looks from previous posts that you have already made up your mind about how you want other people to see you as, that any opinion that we give is going to be disregard it. I hope everything works out for the best though.
 
i love to see people who dress their own way, i tend to go for a mixture of the rock and mod look
1960s_mod_fashion_london_144375.jpg
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im never seen without my blazer

n yeah i love pigtails
 
Onyrica said:
I'm not judging you. I'm commenting on what I've seen in many of your posts around the forum. I never said anything about your personality, but rather the point that you seem so concerned about in this topic which you opened so we could comment on.

I also commented about the mbti because I notice you keep going back to it, both for yourself and others. I've just seen about 3 posts in which you've 'judged' people about them not being INFJ, but other types, which indicates that you, yourself, are making an evaluation of other people's personality. However, this is not a judgment on you, but on your posts. As I said, I've still not said anything about you as a person, or have I?

I'm also all out for expression and individuality, so that's why I expressed my own opinion. Most of my post was directed to the thoughts I have over the topic you started and how I think individuality comes by other means than just physical appearance. This, I think, is nothing worth getting upset for.

In any case, sorry for any discomfort I might've caused.
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I never once thought you were judging me to be honest. I think you're worrying yourself to death ;) Anyway, I wasn't judging members on the forum... I was stating my opinion about certain ones that screamed INFP. Have a good evening.
 
I can't really tell by your opening thread, but if you asking for advice maybe you should listen to the people you don't agree with. You are very idealistic but the real people of the real world are responding to your question on this forum.
The choice, like you said and I fully agree with, is totally your choice and your choice alone but you have to accept the consequences that come with your choices. Sure, you're expressing yourself, but you have to think about what you are expressing to your patients (and future patients who are being represented by this forum). Do you want to come off as and understanding and wise psychotherapist or an energetic and 'young' psychotherapist. Keeping the pigtails definitely gives off the latter.

Yeah it sucks that people judge based on appearance, but if you want to succeed in the world you have to live in the real world (where in this case people ARE going to judge you, even the most understanding of people). Like someone said before, the choice is up to you, but I think you should listen and ponder over what other people are saying on here. Your job future is definitely going to be affected by your actions.
 
Not2be, if this bothers you now it will always bother you. So tailor your life around your individuality as you see fit. But as Minority Funk said, there will be consequences for not toeing-the-line.

I'm in my 40s and my personal style is eccentric to most, but quite frankly I don't care. I own my own business which brings in most of income. My clients hire me as the 'wacky-artiste' to photograph them so they aren't too bothered by my personal style. But my business is seasonal, so the times I do work in ordinary, corporate settings, I make an attempt to curtail my personal style (rather unsuccessfully though) as much as I can. I can do it with the full knowledge I don't have to be there 24/7.

I felt every bit of rage in your initial post. When I was your age I just about had enough of trying to conform to 'professional standards.' I wasn't ever able to do so without feeling as if I'd lost a part of my soul.

Now is the time for you to make the decision. Either tailor your life to suit you or you can continue to let others dictate what your standards should be.
 
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