Should you have to prove your worth the one's you love?

[Gaze]

This is what i've come to realize about this issue. I must understand and accept myself first before i can ask the same of anyone else. I can't impose my thoughts or desires on anyone, meaning that i can't reduce someone's value to how i see them, although i may disagree, and rightfully so if appropriate, with their thoughts or actions. They shouldn't need to prove their value to me nor I them, but from mutual interest, respect, and love for each other, we would probably want to be the best person we can be for each other, as long as we're not sacrificing individual worths in the process.

Growing up, it was expected of us to work hard and prove ourselves to deserve anyone's respect much less attention. And it was never enough. Despite the effort to prove over and over that you were good, etc. there was always something which made you feel as if you're not measuring up. It makes you question whether anything you do will ever be good enough. Because of this, I'm a bit reluctant to support any view which says I must prove my "worth" to anyone. If i care for someone, I will try to be the best person I can be for the relationship, but if i have to distort myself into all sorts of shapes just to make someone happy, it ain't gonna happen. I've sacrificed quite a bit of who i am over the years in an effort to become more acceptable or at least accessible to others, but it suppressed who i was. Now, as time passes, i've let go or at least worked on letting go of these beliefs. There will always be something to work on or improve but this is better coming from within, not from someone telling us what's wrong or needs to change, in most cases at least.

 

[Tulip]

If I have to prove my worth the person is not worthy for my love
- he should prove himself worthy by having the eye to recognize the worth in me.

If I have to change myself the person does not deserve of my love
- he does not truly love me, he just loves the idealized version of me.

:rain:

 

[TinyBubbles]

No. Otherwise it ain't love. But I will say that when you're in love, you automatically do a million things which prove it.

 

[yepunsarang]

No. Otherwise it ain't love. But I will say that when you're in love, you automatically do a million things which prove it.

Well said! I totally agree with this. I believe that real love is one that has the ability to surpass anything and everything. True love means going lengths, miles, lightyears for a person---and you see them for who they are and that is what you absolutely love about them more than anything. It's the love you have for their inner entity, that shines from inside and showers their looks, their attitude, their physicality. It's almost like their inner self is like a giant sun. And it's so big that everything revolves around it. Sure, you're attracted to their looks, you love their sense of humor, etc. But it all leads deeper.

I feel like if you love like this, you can potentially be in love forever. But of course, it takes two to love. Because in the ideal love, you see each other for who you are and LOVE IT, there is no need to prove why you are deserving of it. The person who fell in love with you in the first place, is the one to tell you and reaffirm you why you are so lovely and why it is they love you. A person in love follows voluntarily (and with much gusto) because you are gorgeous.

 

[TomarctusHU]

1) To what extent should you have to prove your worth to the one's you love?
2) Should you have to prove your worth to the one's who love you?
3) What do you owe the person who loves you? What do they have a right to ask or expect of you?
4) Should it ok to change yourself to prove you're deserving of their love or committment?

Hmmm.....
1) Maybe it can't be considered "proving my worth", but I like to be as helpful to the other as much it is only possible. (Except if they are unable to say "Thank you" after it... Or patting my head is nice too. :3 ) Beside of this I don't want to be beside someone, just because I'm useful to them. But I want to be useful, and loved the same time.
2) Nope.
3) Owe? Nothing. She/he can except normal things.
4) Not likely. Minor changes can be acceptable, but that depends on the ground.