[PAX] silence as a way to improve your life...

Morgain

Morgain

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I'm reading the book "into great silence" from Miek Pot and I really liked this part:

It is the silence that brings me back in contact with my deepest self and with that I get back my vitality. The inner space in me, that is my home, there I find I deep feeling of happyness and being alone and being silent (meaning no sound but also stopping the inner conversation) helps me with that.
In the beginning of silence I see it as dry and tough and I still have the tendency to phone or to sit behind the computer endlesly. And I have a compelling need for contact. But the more I ignore my stimuli, the more I feel a deep surrender. A very deep feeling of peace and quietness. And I see that I interact with people in a totaly different way. My expectations are gone. Everything that comes is good, but everything that doesn't come is also good. I also notice that I start talking differently. I started talking in a way that I don't lose myself, this in contrast with the normal chatter. When I chatter I lose myself more and more.
My conclusion after these experiences is that you don't solve lonelyness with gattering people around you but by coming home to yourself. When you are lonely, you are in fact "living in the house of other people". The art is to get home to yourself again. That is a lifelong training but it gets better with practice

I really like this piece because in fact this is something I've started to learn on my own and now this book conferms it. And the way I talk is really a barometer to measure how well my contact is with myself. The less my contact with myself, the more I start to chatter, listen to others opinions, and start adapting other peoples visions and way of acting... and the more unhappy and empty I feel. The past week I have tried to implement some moments of quietness and lonelyness and although I get easely distracted it still is paying off. The more I'm in contact with myself, the more I'm listening to what I want, what I need, what MY point of view is. And the most dazling part of it is that other people like me more when I'm "selfish" and true to myself instead of adapting myself to them...

I just wanted to share this with you ...:m080:

:m190: yes I know ...:meye: :m187: ... you can start ... :m158: ... or ... :m146: now ...

we are desperate in need of more monkeys to represent all my emotions... the ones we have are soooo primative... :m183:
 
I can relate well with this. I believe introverts of all eight types can as well? (Utilizing our extroverting functions for too long increases the sense of disconnect. Not sure if this is merely a hasty generalization, though.)
 
I agree. It can be a bit undoing at first, but silence can be a welcome "coming home". Much can be discovered there, much that has has existed all along but has gone unseen.
 
Futurus said:
I can relate well with this. I believe introverts of all eight types can as well? (Utilizing our extroverting functions for too long increases the sense of disconnect. Not sure if this is merely a hasty generalization, though.)
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I have no idea if it works for everybody. I would say yes. A lot of people are running away from themselves searching fulfilment in external things. But whenever you are fullfilled with an external thing whether it is an object or a friendship or wathever, you are searching again for the next and the next. I think the only fulfilment lies in yourself...


randomsomeone, do you have a lot of experience with being silent?
 
Like I said, you gave me idea. I usually have hard time to be without music, but whene I gave myself patience, being in silence from anything can be relaxing. I'll try that for few weeks.
 
yeah it is refreshing. I never turn on music when I'm alone but I do get distracted by computer, tv or a book. I can't just sit there and doing nothing because then I get fixated on myself, my body and the fact it is not all working as it should be :-). I think I need to get through that to realy find peace.:D
 
I'm so glad you posted this.
 
Very interesting! I guess meditation counts as well? Time alone to meditate or thing is necessary to be centred, and being centred leads to contentment. Life flows much more freely! I think extraverts could benefit from this as well, it's not just an introvert thing.
 
Morgain said:
randomsomeone, do you have a lot of experience with being silent?
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Somewhat....I started down this road 30 years ago when I embraced silence rather than question it. The dynamics are somewhat second nature. I will say the book is aptly named.
 
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Morgain, is this book in any way related to the movie "into great silence"?
 
Siamese cat said:
Morgain, is this book in any way related to the movie "into great silence"?
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the book is called "de grote stilte" and I think translated to English with the titel "into great silence" and it is written by Miek Pot. Is that the one you ment?
 
Morgain said:
the book is called "de grote stilte" and I think translated to English with the titel "into great silence" and it is written by Miek Pot. Is that the one you ment?
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Hmm I know about the movie that's called "into great silence" and it's about monks in some monastery in French Alps, so I wanted to know if that book of yours is maybe a book after which they made that documentary. I'm currently in a process of getting that movie from a friend and didn't watch it, and when I looked for the information about it I couldn't fine if it was made after a book.
 
Morgain said:
They live alone in hermitages and only speak half an hour every week.
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There are lots of variations on this but yes, it is a lifestyle some feel very much drawn to, either for a period of time or for more. I know of one place that spends 1/2 of each day in silence while working.

Things like this (silence) do have implications to the average person out there...in fact, I think time spent in silence is a part of the lifestyle balances we all might do well to consider. What happens in silence varies...one just kinda has to dive in and explore I think.

There are many elements of the monastic life that have a direct relationship to broader principles that really relate to us all, and we can draw on these to our benefit. Poverty, chastity, obedience, silence, work, rest, community, service...all these (seperate and together) contain large-scale realities and without understanding these in the macro, even the monastic practice makes less sense. Understanding them, however, allows these principles to be employed and worked with in many different lifestyles and can be a source of great joy and inner health.

Some of the most balanced, connected, and alive people I have ever met have lived in monastic settings. I think perhaps it is because there life is altered to fit a certain lifestyle and purpose rather than the other way around (as we find in the world, at least the one I live in). We can learn from these places I think in order to reclaim (as much as is appropriate) our own center (spiritual and otherwise).

In my view, most (if not all) monestaries are fairly open to outsiders or people in the community. They "breath" in this sense and are not as closed off as one might imagine. This sharing to and fro is absolutely normal, healthy, and a benefit to the monastic community and those to relate to them as a familial resource. In fact, in many monestaries, offering hospitality is one of their highest callings and they do it very well!

I suspect books like this, and even the film, are part of this sharing. In light of this, one does not necessarily have to visit such places in order to immerse oneself in these thoughts/ideas....they present them to us. Afterall, we are all family, no matter where we live out our life. We can all learn from each other.
 
silence as a way to improve your life

randomsomeone said:
Somewhat....I started down this road 30 years ago when I embraced silence rather than question it. The dynamics are somewhat second nature. I will say the book is aptly named.
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I came to this by a different route, but it has stood me in good stead when practiced, For me it takes great discipline--also good in itself.
 
sounds really good. I love doing this too. only problem with this is that when I'm quiet too long I sart to fall asleep :m100:

how do you get past that?
 
Grey Wolf said:
when I'm quiet too long I sart to fall asleep
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This is a definite reality for most of us who are balancing many facets of our lives. I think the primary recommendation for this is to focus on a word and return to that word as a gentle means of recentering our minds. There are several simple methods out there doing this...all of the ones I have seen are pretty straightforward.

Me? I actually don't spend large swaths of time in formal meditation (although I have had friends who did), but instead make use more of little times during the day. Aside from that I generally enjoy silence while doing simple manual tasks or walking...I can do this for hours. Over time this kind of more active silence can be just as fruitful (I think).

Turning off the ipod and just enjoying the lack of input is a good start. Then learn to center your inner self a bit (it can be hit or miss some days, but that's okay). For me it is almost a type of inner hospitality and welcoming. As was said, it's like going home.
 
I like having music on, but I have to remember to turn it on. It scares people when they stumble upon me sitting in silence. It's like I'm doing something wrong.
 
anica said:
For me it takes great discipline--also good in itself.
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I have friends who apparently are much more disciplined than I...and I admire them for this. In the end though, sometimes I think we each just have to find the gift within us and go in that direction.

I confess, for me this has been a great part of being connected to an "old" religion or spirituality....just the pure scope of experience. The ideal of silence and contemplation has been lived out (very well) in so many settings and times and places that I can draw on that and more freely find modes and modifications that work for me today. Some were more singularly focused, some were not....some were active, some withdrew more. Just the sheer creativity, innovation, and freedom seen in these folks is awesome, while all essentially going in the exact same direction! This is what provides (to me) a grounding, a rootedness, and an authenticity for seeing and understanding my own path today.

One last personal perspective: I find in the silent places that I am most fundamentally changed. One lets go of a lot and one faces up to a lot, but one is given much, much more. I found that silence invited me to let go of my agendas and presuppositions almost completely, only to see things I might never have found and rediscover things as if for the first time. It can be disconcerting and comforting all at once. The only real reason I pursue silence at all is love.
 
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