[INFJ] So... she called to talk after I sent her that message.

To meet or not to meet?

  • Yeah, get it done and over with.

  • Politely decline meeting (Just screw it, tell her kthxbye, and see her in the far frontier )

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Pin said:
Well, speaking as a professional simp, the rational thing to do in this instance is to stop trying to make her like you and chase something better, probably God.
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What if she's a goddess tho

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Pin said:
Some people are incapable of happiness and enjoy seeing people break.
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Very toxic people, yes.

Mostly these people simply aren't worth one's time—not because they're toxic but because they're too self-centered, absorbed in their own issues.
 
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Pin said:
Not romantically, no.

But honestly, who is worth the time? That's what makes it so paradoxical.
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It's probably a bit of a grey area, but I don't think the area of people not worth one's time is so grey.

Basically people who make you feel worse more often than better!
 
Pin said:
That's a way of looking at people that leaves hope. Some people are worth the time.
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Of course. I guess it then depends on what people prioritise in their life, e.g. intellect, empathy, reliability, etc.
 
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Pin said:
Well, speaking as a professional simp, the rational thing to do in this instance is to stop trying to make her like you and chase something better, probably God.

I've been in many situations similar to the one you're in and I learned that you're better off doing things with guaranteed benefits: exercising, studying, working.

I'm not saying you should ignore women you're trying to date but it's really not smart to go out of your way for someone and dance like a monkey. If she's not dancing like a monkey for you, she probably doesn't want your romance.

If you can't maintain a friendship without romantic intent then you've got to move on bro. It's totally fine to flirt with women but you've got to stop if she isn't amused by your efforts, let alone entertaining them.
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I'm pretty much done with the relationship and friendship, its fine that we've talked. But the fact is she chooses to remain "friendly" / "flirty" and still call me nick names we gave each other.
After that conversation and her telling me she wants to meet me to pass me my xmas present, I think im done. I don't really feel motivated to meet, this is the first time im actually giving the proverbial INFJ doorslam.
I just think my walls are back up, and i've just shut out that funny part of me again, the playful and the flirty parts of me have just decided to retreat back into the inner layers. Mr moon man no longer shines his fun beams at her.

I actually find that intriguing, I treasure friendship, but even when remaining friends, she doesn't want to put distance between us. So i have i will have to just be the person to do so.
I've had enough drama in my life time no not want to dance around such things. I'm just tired and i feel closer to being done and moving on and not looking back.
 
Ren said:
It's probably a bit of a grey area, but I don't think the area of people not worth one's time is so grey.

Basically people who make you feel worse more often than better!
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Nah, right now, its a relationship that is draining. I don't feel better being around her.
Its one thing to bear your heart to a person, to be lead on for a while, whether intentionally, or unintentionally, and given the proverbial salt on wound saying "But hey i'm still cool hanging out with you as friends" ... with all the benefits that i bring to the table. Without the commitment of being in a relationship? Nah, i have more self respect and dignity to know that i've done what i could, and its time to just part and start recovering my heart before im ready to date again. So nope. I've pretty much let comms die and i doubt i'll put in energy to respond to any future conversation from here on.

Maybe in a year or so when im done with the grief of the relationship and have enough energy to think about friendship i might, still unlikely.
Long time ago i had someone destroy a very good friendship i had with a girl. And while that took 4 years to heal, we did become friends once again and have a good relationship.
But this? No, im too old for this, i just had enough and have less energy and patience do deal with such individuals, plus work just tires the shit out of me so i don't want to spare any additional energy trying to drain myself further.
 
ordz404 said:
I've had enough drama in my life time no not want to dance around such things. I'm just tired and i feel closer to being done and moving on and not looking back.
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Me too, now you're free for a woman who actually does like you and isn't going to play games with your emotions.
 
:smirk::smirk::smirk::tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy::smirk::smirk::smirk:
Pin said:
Me too, now you're free for a woman who actually does like you and isn't going to play games with your emotions.
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Daustus said:
Put this woman in your rear view mirror. Use firm language and past tense. You've said your part. She needs to seek attention elsewhere rather than steal it from you.
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Aww man, you guys make me feel better already. Well im celebrating the Asian new year and im gonna gang up with other guy bestie to go bake some cookies.

Time to pick up a new hobby, and well how about a moonman that bakes and eat cookies :smirk:. My senior colleague has been bugging about this lass in the office, told me to “say” hi... i’ll say hi with cookies :smirk:

maybe i should even make my own version of fortune cookie and put a message in it... like hey lady, do you believe in destiny? That will surely get her attention and launch herself to the stratosphere or drive her deep into the earth’s crust
 
ordz404 said:
:smirk::smirk::smirk::tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy::smirk::smirk::smirk:



Aww man, you guys make me feel better already. Well im celebrating the Asian new year and im gonna gang up with other guy bestie to go bake some cookies.

Time to pick up a new hobby, and well how about a moonman that bakes and eat cookies :smirk:. My senior colleague has been bugging about this lass in the office, told me to “say” hi... i’ll say hi with cookies :smirk:

maybe i should even make my own version of fortune cookie and put a message in it... like hey lady, do you believe in destiny? That will surely get her attention and launch herself to the stratosphere or drive her deep into the earth’s crust
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I hope you did that with the cookie! Hearing that gives me faith that after difficult unresolved matters life can still deliver sweet moments!
 
I know you asked for infjs and enfp opinions on this and being unsure in this, I’d hate to butt in, but.... to ignore that you would be invested in something and still allow more is beyond me right now. Honestly, I think you made your intention clear by going on dates, and was committed to taking the next step. Maybe I’m wrong for thinking like this, but if you value taking things slow, I guess it may help to let someone else know before hand? Then again, this generation seems to be moving way too quickly as is. Idk. I don’t think that’s something for you to keep trying for, or even be so down about. And maybe this is kind of old news for me to even touch the subject considering I don’t know you, but I think it’s okay to walk away from something in which the other person isn’t fully reciprocating the same feelings towards you. Sounds like she needs to navigate her own feelings at this time. Especially since you’ve been so invested in her life and growth. :/ I’m really sorry you went through that btw. No one is ever really for everyone and I hope you find that person for you.
 
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