The INFJ sex life

I'm asexual. I've never had a sex drive, though I have had sex with a few people just because I wanted to know with certainty that I wasn't missing anything... In my mind, a person can't say they're asexual unless they've had sex. So now that my "scientific method" of experimentation is over, I really have no reason to pursue further dating. Statistically, it's like being a unicorn to be an asexual INFJ, but I thought I'd chime in anyway as the devil's advocate.
 
James said:
but in essence they want companionship, love and affection. But asking for that? Is maybe even scarier than asking for sex.
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True. The thing about asking for it is first becoming aware of it which involves overcoming the fear of being hurt, rejected abandoned. Then, it's a matter of articulating that in a way that invites it rather than pushes it away and that involves practice until you get to the point where you can openly admit that "I neeeed intimate connection, openness, companionship, affection, love. Not only do I need it, but I need to give it." Sex (to me) is an expression of that. It's deeply emotional. Woot! Banging whilst vulnerable!
 
Milktoast Bandit said:
True. The thing about asking for it is first becoming aware of it which involves overcoming the fear of being hurt, rejected abandoned. Then, it's a matter of articulating that in a way that invites it rather than pushes it away and that involves practice until you get to the point where you can openly admit that "I neeeed intimate connection, openness, companionship, affection, love. Not only do I need it, but I need to give it." Sex (to me) is an expression of that. It's deeply emotional. Woot! Banging whilst vulnerable!
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Testify.
 
James said:
I know what you mean @Sandie33 and I agree. Who knows what Christmas and the new year may bring us. I just got some decorations. All I need now is some scented candles, Barry White and a visit from ex...

Omg... Thats a nightmare!
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I'm hoping Christmas brings me a sexy, soulful, loving, compassionate Santa. Wink, wink, wink.

I can't help it, as I've gotten older I just think Santa is G-Q handsome. I know it sounds perverse, and Mrs. Clause is very protective and possessive of the real Santa, so I'm settling for Surrogate Santa.
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Mannnn... I love music so much. And intense love music.. even more.

*Rubs chin*

A new thread, soon shall be born, unto thee
 
Sex before I met my husband was distant, foreign, and exciting. I would often sleep with people when I was in a weird or emotional or angsty state as a teenager, very much in the grip of impulsive Se external satisfaction(or distraction). But the sex was usually pretty damn good. Although it was a different approach because I didn’t care about them at all and purposely chose people that I didn’t enjoy being around or find interesting, which made it like having sex with a stranger every time.

Sex with my husband is a completely different experience. Emotional, spiritual, physical, on another plane. Frankly, I don’t even hold it in the same category. Sex when you’re in love is far different from anything else out there.

During intimacy, I love to give. I love to give him little kisses every where and massage him and use my Ni/Fe/Se to know what he desires and give it to him. I do theorize that sex is very different for all types, since we perceive things differently. But as an INFJ, I can say that is is beautiful and vibrant and passionate, but I am only interested when I’m in the mood.
 
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