The modern dating scene?

petir said:
Single gay male INFJ here. Just moved to a new city over a year ago. Still do not have a friend I can hang out with on a constant basis and am desperately looking for one.

I’ve been hanging out with this fellow gay guy (we met through instagram dm) who has been with his partner for one year.. The first time we met he told me he straight up told me he got a bf and I thought it was weird that we hung out but he said he just moved to the city and looking for friends too so I went with it.

So we started hanging out and everything was great..until last night he started flirting with me. It was just a casual banter thing and I guess he was in the moment but something about it really gets in to me..

Something about messing with someone else’s boyfriend.. I know where my boundaries are and I made sure he knows about it. Makes me depressed thinking about the gay culture.. are we bound to give love more freely than straight couples? Seems like as people are getting more educated on contemporary relationships (open etc) more people are resorting towards that and i see a lot of people on open relationship on the dating apps.

Puts me into a grim mood all day. What are your thoughts on the gay dating scene?
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Op, please excuse me as I am heterosexual, but my thoughts on the gay dating scene are the same as mine as a straight man

In your case, I feel sorry for you, really. You are certainly correct to establish the boundaries you have. I have to say bravo.

Is the idea of open relationships or even downright adultery simply isolated to the gay scene? Absolutely not. Half of all marraiges end in divorce, simply put. Most of the time, the reason IS adultery, or cheating

Actually, every homosexual couple I have met, EVER are more diplomatic and faithful than any classical relationship. So, don't feel depressed on that friend

This is baggage in your life. Keep your relationship platonic, keep the boundaries you set.

I bet you 100% one day you will meet the man of your dreams, and you'll be the right one for him. Love has mysterious ways man

As to open relationships, I'm sorry to say, they're not really for me.

Love is supposed to be a connection between someone close to you. This needless to say involves a relationship.

If I dedicate my time, money, open my house, heart and soul to my partner. A partner who will presumably be with me forever, that love is for her and I to consumate. Not for Billy Joe JimBob down the street who we barely know.

And where is the love in being able to see another person?

Yeah, that's a slippery slope. I'm not saying it's wrong on a moral level. But simply not what I want

At the end of the day, it sounds like you have deep feelings for him, but those feelings never will be quite fulfilled in an open relationship I reckon
 
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Deleted member 16771 said:
No. You don't have to be a Jedi Master to maintain these boundaries. :neutral:

You and that girl kissed (or whatever you did) because you wanted to, that's the whole story. There's no such thing as 'a oopsie!' in this context, and I don't think we should pretend that these mistakes are easy to make, hard to prevent, or forgivable, because they aren't. You aren't fucking five. When it happens, you've made a fully conscious choice to cheat and then sneak around hiding it.

And Jesus Christ, you should be more concerned with your sense of integrity.

I'm not having a go at you specifically, biwaly, but this kind of juvenilising nonsense really makes my eyes roll.
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Jedi Master! :tearsofjoy::smilingimp:
 
Gaze said:
Hate to admit that although I've met people, and fell in love with one or two, I've never truly had a complete dating experience, meaning that whole courting thing such as being taken out to dinner, going to a dance, taken to a game, attended a concert or museum, or taken on a trip. I've been treated to a movie, but that's it. I kinda missed that whole experience of being wined and dined. Never got the whole enchilada. :D
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I miss it too.

*sheds teardrop”
 
Single gay male INFJ here. Just moved to a new city over a year ago. Still do not have a friend I can hang out with on a constant basis and am desperately looking for one.

I’ve been hanging out with this fellow gay guy (we met through instagram dm) who has been with his partner for one year.. The first time we met he told me he straight up told me he got a bf and I thought it was weird that we hung out but he said he just moved to the city and looking for friends too so I went with it.

So we started hanging out and everything was great..until last night he started flirting with me. It was just a casual banter thing and I guess he was in the moment but something about it really gets in to me..

Something about messing with someone else’s boyfriend.. I know where my boundaries are and I made sure he knows about it. Makes me depressed thinking about the gay culture.. are we bound to give love more freely than straight couples? Seems like as people are getting more educated on contemporary relationships (open etc) more people are resorting towards that and i see a lot of people on open relationship on the dating apps.

Puts me into a grim mood all day. What are your thoughts on the gay dating scene?
Click to expand...
lol, I guess that heterosexual and homosexual relationship have no difference, because it's common thing - not to cheat on your partner! Personally, once I was dating a girl with who I met at a dating site, that I found simply comparing bbwcupid cost with other dating sites, and you know, she was perfect, cute, with green eyes and black hair, slim figure, and tender skin. By the way, she was an interesting woman, but at the third date I found out she has a husband... Lol, then I didn't even talked to her, because I hate when people cheat on their spouses and girl/boyfriends... So, then I asked each the girl if he has someone in order to not to repeat such situation
 
SeekerLG said:
lol, I guess that heterosexual and homosexual relationship have no difference, because it's common thing - not to cheat on your partner! Personally, once I was dating a girl with who I met at a dating site, that I found simply comparing bbwcupid cost with other dating sites, and you know, she was perfect, cute, with green eyes and black hair, slim figure, and tender skin. By the way, she was an interesting woman, but at the third date I found out she has a husband... Lol, then I didn't even talked to her, because I hate when people cheat on their spouses and girl/boyfriends... So, then I asked each the girl if he has someone in order to not to repeat such situation
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ad
 
women are a whole thing

too much

thank god for inferior Fe i can go a long time without them

can't imagine someone who constantly needed to fill that void what a waste of life
 
Pin said:
I think abstinence and waiting until marriage is the best policy. It's not easy but it's going to be worth it when you end up with someone you love and don't have emotional baggage from a promiscuous past. The love will be more meaningful because you worked for it and made the necessary sacrifices to achieve it.
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FINALLY SOMEONE who sees it the way I do! You’re so right. I personally don’t care about titles or marriage, but I want to wait until I find the person I ACTUALLY want to be with, the person I want to give my SOUL to. That is the point of intimacy!!! I hate modern dating.
 
HollyBeeTheENFP said:
FINALLY SOMEONE who sees it the way I do! You’re so right. I personally don’t care about titles or marriage, but I want to wait until I find the person I ACTUALLY want to be with, the person I want to give my SOUL to. That is the point of intimacy!!! I hate modern dating.
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I recommend attending church, specifically a Catholic Church. It's a great place to find a husband.

I attend a Catholic Church.
 
never mind
 
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