Once upon a workday dreary, eyesight growing ever bleary,
Over each evaluation of performance for the fall,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping at my cubicle's thin wall.
`'Tis some employee,' I muttered, `my chamber thin wall -
That it is, and that is all.'
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak November,
And each hour brought close the nearing end of Autumn's business cycle.
Eagerly I wished the night in hopes the day would end alright
For I had not yet seen the demon's face- the demon known as Michael
I had not yet heard that demon's voice- the demon known as Michael.
Could't endure 'til day's recycle?
And the sudden silence falling o'er the office kept me stalling,
Hoping beyond hope that my sworn enemy was not without
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I sat repeating
`'Tis some employee entreating entrance, seeking my rapport -
Just some visitor entreating entrance, seeking my rapport; -
This it is, and nothing more,'
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But as I reviewed this pension, your soft knock passed my attention,
And I ask your comprehension of my unresponse before,
For I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I stood upon the floor; -
Carpet there, and nothing more.
Deeply past that carpet peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the carpet gave no token,
Yet through all the words unspoken, still I felt my tension soar
Just the hum of those fluorescents, but I still could could feel it soar,
Adding to the weight I bore.
Back into my office turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping, somewhat louder than before.
`Yes,' said I, `at my partition, surely someone seeks admission;
Let me see then, who thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
If it's he who I abhor.'
Here I stood; my heartbeat spurted. There stood Michael, face inverted.
'Toby!' said he, 'Guess who I am! See this face upon my head?'
'Michael,' said I, 'I am working, and I do not need you lurking
Near my desk, with all the charm of Brutus, or a man that's dead.
This is making it real hard; I'm here when I should be in bed.'
Quoth the Scott, 'That's what she said!'
'That,' said I, 'was quite unneeded. If my warnings go unheeded,
I will be required to send notice to your corporate head.
Michael, I respect you, truly, and I shall obey you duly,
But I can't condone this newly picked-up phrase I do so dread.
Let us stop this filthy talk, and let us just be friends instead.
Quoth the Scott, 'That's what she said!'
`Be that word our sign of parting, Michael Scott!' I cried upstarting -
`Get thee back into thy office- there are papers to be read!
Do not stay here any longer!' shouted I, voice growing stronger.
'Leave me to my paperwork- my patience hangs by but a thread.
Please now, Michael, turn around so I can do my job' I pled.
Quoth the Scott, `That's what she said!'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if Man or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether whether simple chance wrought wrath unsaid,
Watch, as all good feelings wither. Turn they heel and take it thither!
Michael, I command you, slither off! Before my hair I shred!
My mother would be quite ashamed of you!" Then I saw only red, for
Quoth the Scott, `NOT what she said!'
