Tinder Creeps/Normal Guys

SpecialEdition said:
If you're serious about compatibility and finding romance and a serious relationship rather than fucking then sign up for a paid dating site and not a hookup app.
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Finding someone where people gather to share their interests is best. Like church, historic drama theatre, or the Star Trek Convention.
 
atree said:
The other thing to consider is that some guys have cottoned on to the fact that there are women out there who will withhold sex until they get what they want. From the perspective of someone who doesn't see sex as a big deal, maybe they see someone who says they're not into casual sex as a 'red flag' for this kind of a manipulation. You and I might not see it that way, but maybe his experiences have shaped a different picture. Who knows? Everyone's got a context that makes sense to them. I'm just glad you two figured out where you guys stood way beforehand.
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I don't think women are witholding sex in that way at all. When a woman decides to have sex is up to her. If a guy is bothered that he can't have sex unless he gets to know her first and decides to be in a relationship, then he can move along. I have only recently decided that from now on I'd prefer to get to know someone and develop feelings for them before I have sex with them. I'm fed up with meaningless sex, or sex that only means something to me. I suspect that means that I'd have be in a relationship with them. If a guy really liked a girl, he'd respect her needs/wishes and wait. He'd want the relationship too. There shouldn't be any problem with that.

I was just warning this guy that if we met, we wouldn't be having sex, and I was making sure that it was clear that my aim was to be in a long-term relationship. A lot of guys know they don't want one, but you don't find that out until you've been on a few dates and decided you like him! I'm not trying to trap or trick anyone. I'm just being honest from the get-go so I can spend my time wisely.

He still asked me to Whatsapp him! :p
 
Pyrrhula said:
I don't think women are witholding sex in that way at all. When a woman decides to have sex is up to her. If a guy is bothered that he can't have sex unless he gets to know her first and decides to be in a relationship, then he can move along. I have only recently decided that from now on I'd prefer to get to know someone and develop feelings for them before I have sex with them. I'm fed up with meaningless sex, or sex that only means something to me. I suspect that means that I'd have be in a relationship with them. If a guy really liked a girl, he'd respect her needs/wishes and wait. He'd want the relationship too. There shouldn't be any problem with that.

I was just warning this guy that if we met, we wouldn't be having sex, and I was making sure that it was clear that my aim was to be in a long-term relationship. A lot of guys know they don't want one, but you don't find that out until you've been on a few dates and decided you like him! I'm not trying to trap or trick anyone. I'm just being honest from the get-go so I can spend my time wisely.

He still asked me to Whatsapp him! :p
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Woah, woah, wait! Not disagreeing with you in the least!

Read my post again. You'll see that I expressed that I share your perspective on casual sex; I too reserve that level of physical intimacy for when I really know someone. *But* I appreciate the fact that some people look at things from different angles, and have different contexts for why they think what they think. From that perspective, I was merely suggesting that maybe the guy was looking at things *this* way (withholding sex, red flag, etc) not that they *were* this way or that you should have done anything differently. You hold to your truth, girl.
 
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atree said:
you know what that smoking hot red head over there wants? getting painted green and spanked like a naughty avocado.
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Avocados are one of the least sexy foods though.
 
My answer is a mix of what Special Edition and Grayman said:


Paid dating sites are the best bet because only people looking for only serious relationships would consider using money for such a service, anything that's free is going to bring in a.... colorful crowd of people. Match.com is your best bet, or even A-list on OKC, but also consider which sites are used by what age groups.

That said these sites have plenty of cons. Again, Match.com has poor design/user experience and doesn't let you know if users are inactive. Also, algorithmic "compatibility" is misleading because people can lie on their questions, not know themselves well enough to answer truthfully, or may not be compatible in person despite high match %.

The best place to meet a potential partner is through your network or at public events.
 
I came to this thread expecting to see dick pics. Where are they? The mods ruin all of our fun.
 
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the said:
I feel like there is a the thing where women are supposed to be hard to get. I think some of them are very good at this game - so good that they do not communicate what it might take to get them. Then they feel disrespected when the wrong actions are taken.
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This.

I think this is getting more to the root. Communication is everything. Tinder is pretty awful... I've had it for a while and have not had any success in formulating so much as a decent conversation, a prerequisite for me to engage someone further. Therefore I really don't use it, or take it seriously, because it appears that women don't either. 70% or so of matches don't even respond. Not a recommended go-to for trying to find dates...
 
MrWonka said:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...like-in-real-life_us_5731e363e4b096e9f0928b2a

Why is it that so man young men struggle to understand what exactly it is women want and how they want to be talked to?
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Because fathers nowdays are... a bunch of soft, quivering.... ugh.

I'm not going to say it but you get my point.

Could it be they are getting mixed messages?
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Yes.

Could there be a discrepancy between what women say they want, and what men actually see working?
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Yes. People LIE when they don't want to hurt each other's feelings.

I can understand why it sucks to be a woman some times. If you're not naturally attractive it feels like there's very little you can do to improve upon that, but at least women essentially know what they have to do to make themselves attractive to men.
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I have a smart-ass answer but I'm going to bite my tongue on this one. I've offended enough ladies today.

With men it seems like the problem isn't so much with their ability to be attractive it's about having absofuckinglutely no idea what the hell women even want.
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Women want confident, tall, handsome guys, with muscles and money. Women don't tell men this because they don't want to be called shallow but it's true.

Let the games begin!
 
I've had 4 med/long term relationships off of Tinder. (6+ months or longer). I think it's a great place to meet women.

Starting a relationship is hard when you are desperate though. It's also hard if you start off on the defensive. When a women tells me she is looking for a long term relationship and is not going to have sex on the first date I think two things; 1. I haven't even offered that yet so you sound like a creep and 2. you are probably a liar. Get your life right before you start trying to date.
 
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