Trinogomy, can a relationship between 3 people work? Can all 3 love each other?

[latte]

Hitler, really? A bit of a stretch don't you think? So I made one comment about somebody being screwed over and you compare my contribution to 'cultural sex-negativism' to Hitler's contribution to the Holocaust? Obviously having a reasonable discussion on such a matter is difficult for you if you have to stretch that far.

Sometimes one stretches it really really far so people can't help but knowing it's exaggerated on purpose for comedic effect so that it feels less like an attack.

But some people have no humor because they are

.

 

[La Sagna]

Sometimes one stretches it really really far so people can't help but knowing it's exaggerated on purpose for comedic effect so that it feels less like an attack.

But some people have no humor because they are

.

 

[Keirouen]

I saw a news broadcast about a household of people all 'in love' with each other. It was 3 couples, if I'm not mistaken, all living in the same house having the same kinds of relationships with each other. They did exactly what you have stated here, which is switch off sex-capaids between them all and have group discussions about disputes and so on and so forth. There were 3 men and 3 women and because of all them having sex with each other there were multiple kids from various match ups. Now were they happy? Any time you have a group or community where your thoughts and feelings matter you're going to be happy enough. Were they all in love with each other? Depends on your definition of love. With my own personal definition of love... when I first saw the broadcast I did not believe they were in love because of how, more than a few of them, had acted towards various others. They had done the interview with the original couples who came in together and I remember seeing one couple of a man and woman just very cold to each other. From seeing that as well as hearing that they had been having troubles and the woman just goes off with some other woman and the man goes off by himself, I do not believe that is love. To me that was more of 'you're not the only one here and I'm happier for it' which would be the case between any number of people who decide to do this as opposed to just two people working together as a unit. When one gets hurt feelings from another they have the third to run to. When the third gets the same hurt feelings they can pretty well just vote that other out. So is it long lasting? Depends... I believe the broadcast I saw with this particular house of 6 people will last for a very long time, and truly it has already.

That's not quite what I mean. I think I saw some documentary about it too. In this case, this "trinogomous" relationship has to be balanced between all members. The way I see it -none of the 3 were together prior and all 3 came together as a 3 person couple "triple" at roughly the same time. I see it that having a history with a particular person might be damaging to keeping the relationship truly balanced.
6 people like this, especially since they were 3 separate couples at first -it's just not the same thing at all.

 

[54tjsioU]

That's not quite what I mean. I think I saw some documentary about it too. In this case, this "trinogomous" relationship has to be balanced between all members. The way I see it -none of the 3 were together prior and all 3 came together as a 3 person couple "triple" at roughly the same time. I see it that having a history with a particular person might be damaging to keeping the relationship truly balanced.
6 people like this, especially since they were 3 separate couples at first -it's just not the same thing at all.

I'm not sure there would ever be an instance where three people who all just met each other at the same time would jump into bed together. They'd all have to know each other and be friends with each other for, I'd say about a year, and then all decide together that they want to be in a relationship together. If there were three people who did exactly that, I could see it working however it's extremely rare to see a simple two person couple love each other much less 3 strangers turned friends turned lovers making it work. The only way it would work is if all three had the exact same mindset going in and then continuing from then on. And since we haven't learned how to clone ourselves yet I'd say I couldn't see it last for all that long because I've never seen more than one person have their exact own mindset.

 

[Keirouen]

I'm not sure there would ever be an instance where three people who all just met each other at the same time would jump into bed together. They'd all have to know each other and be friends with each other for, I'd say about a year, and then all decide together that they want to be in a relationship together. If there were three people who did exactly that, I could see it working however it's extremely rare to see a simple two person couple love each other much less 3 strangers turned friends turned lovers making it work. The only way it would work is if all three had the exact same mindset going in and then continuing from then on. And since we haven't learned how to clone ourselves yet I'd say I couldn't see it last for all that long because I've never seen more than one person have their exact own mindset.

Know each other and be friends for a year? Haha sounds like it would work

It's a conscientious choice for all 3. Indeed the best way it could work is if they were all friends who trust each other, feel mutual attraction, are single and open minded.

It helps even more if all 3 shared hard times together and overcame difficulties in the past!

 

[muir]

I think people should do whatever they want to do as long as they aren't hurting others

I think people should ignore societal pressures and live in whatever way feels right for them...3 people together, 4 people...whatever works for them

As long as they don't mind the inevitable judgment that will come from some

 

[Faye]

Usually if people are open to that, they're probably open to open relationships as well. I've never met anyone interested in a committed 3-way relationship, but I've met several who were self-declared polyamorous.

If you're going to have more than one, why would you limit yourself to only two? Why not 3, 4, or 6?

 

[Awesome]

Yeah I'd feel like an asshole for wanting to have a poly relationship because I'd only be doing it because the woman I'm with now wouldn't be satisfying me well enough. Which isn't even the case.
I don't like the idea of a poly relationship because I don't like sharing or being shared. It also removes the risk of having a third person introduce completely unnecessary jealousy for the sake of sex, but I suppose it's different for everyone. Personally if a guy told me his girlfriend and he were in an open relationship, I'd wonder if his penis is tiny, if her vagina is too loose, or both.
Emotionally, I do not see how I could put all my love and affection and energy split into more than one person in a relationship. It doesn't seem feasible to me. Of course that changes with children, but that's a different love entirely.

 

[sassafras]

As a general rule, the more unknown variables a relationship depends on, the more the deck is stacked against it. It's not that I don't think poly relationships can't work--there's somebody out there that's having a trifecta of awesome sex right this minute with two (or more) equally loving partners-- it's just that I don't think the odds tend to be in their favor. Heck, it's complicated enough making monogamy work in the long-term. If all the conditions of the relationship were satisfied, as laid out in the OP, it'd totally work. However, relationships are, by nature, dynamic, so while things start off pretty awesome, somewhere along the way, someone changes their mind about what it is they want, something happens that jars their security in themselves or their relationship, and its difficult to resume to the status quo. It doesn't happen to everybody and it doesn't mean your relationship is doomed to fail, but it happens enough to say that you should be 100% sure you know exactly what you're getting into and that you're sure this is what you want. Otherwise, you might end up being the squeaky wheel without even realizing it.