Truly Kind and Gentle People

[Lurk]

Hahaha. I wasn't trying to make any kind of argument. It was just a quickly written thought.

Haha...I saw INTJ and braced myself.

My point is that humans are complex. The post is about Truly Kind and Gentle People. By that I presume they mean a paragon of goodness. A person without a single ill wish against another. Which I don't think would be humanly possible. I believe one would have to compartmentalize any negative thought to become that way. Thoughts of revenge, cruelty or hatred are all natural. To be consumed by them or not experience them at all suggests an unhealthy mental state.

I agree.

I've met some truly lovely, caring people. But the could also be angry and vindictive in spots. In fact I find very empathetic people to be the most cruel when they're angry. Because they have a talent for understanding others, and they know exactly where to hit so it'll hurt the worst.

Sociopathic individuals are often very empathetic as well. How can you work people without understanding them well? I'm unnerved when I hear INTPs proudly claim they possess empathy, but not necessarily sympathy. Well....that's not good. In fact, if that was true, these individuals would be dangerous. I assume they are basically playing "tough" like kids used to play cowboys and indians.

I don't know. I could be wrong. My experience is limited and there may possibly exist a person who is only kind and caring. If there is, great. I'd prefer to live in a world where such people exist. I don't believe they do, but that's only my opinion.[/QUOTE

If one acts with any self-serving motive, then I consider that act a selfish one, regardless of what the act was or who it superficially benefited.

I am worried that this is true as well. Maybe a parent's love for his or her child would come the closest to pure intent.

 

[acd]

Sociopaths may have cognitive empathy or be able to see things from another's perspective. They can read people and determine how they feel, but they don't personally feel the pain of others. It doesn't touch them.

@Lurk maybe the intps have empathy and sympathy mixed up? You can't turn empathy on and off like you can sympathy.

 

[Tin Man]

Haha...I saw INTJ and braced myself.

I agree.

Sociopathic individuals are often very empathetic as well. How can you work people without understanding them well? I'm unnerved when I hear INTPs proudly claim they possess empathy, but not necessarily sympathy. Well....that's not good. In fact, if that was true, these individuals would be dangerous. I assume they are basically playing "tough" like kids used to play cowboys and indians.

If one acts with any self-serving motive, then I consider that act a selfish one, regardless of what the act was or who it superficially benefited.

I am worried that this is true as well. Maybe a parent's love for his or her child would come the closest to pure intent.

I'm more of an INTJ-lite. Full of that same great insight and brilliance, but with only half the arrogance.

Like @acd said about sociopaths. They can read people very well (cognitive empathy) but they can't relate to the emotions of the people they read (affective empathy).

I've never really gotten why people are so ardent on differentiating sympathy and empathy either. I remember a time there was so much drama on this forum over this. With INFPs saying INFJs were good at sympathy but not empathy. And INFJs getting defensive and saying it was the other way round. Such a mighty battle over who had the most feelz.

I don't think there can be an act that doesn't come with some amount of self-interest. Take your example of a parent's love for a child. The choice to bring a life into this world is usually a selfish one to begin with. Most people do it for themselves, not really thinking about how it's the child they create who will suffer the consequences of their act.

There's only one person I know of who was truly selfless. He didn't experience any negative emotions towards people simply because he couldn't. He had such extensive brain damage, that such feelings were inaccessible to him. So maybe that's the answer. Lobotomies for all.