Type April

Ren said:
I was wondering about ESFJ earlier, actually, because I feel like I see Ne in some of April's posts. And it might explain the energy thing too.

Of course there are problems with this typing too, e.g. the fact that I'm inclined to see April as an introvert.
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Ren: ESFJ?
April: GRRR :tearsofjoy:
 
Ren said:
If that's any comfort, I get the occasional 'you're an ISTJ!' in youtube comments to my videos :p
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Phew. Yes it is. Lmao!

My mom is ESFJ and I dont have anything against the type... but its.... not me lol. I dont think anyway... hmm. Lets see... i havent really researched Ne... can someone explain that? Ill research later too anyways but still lol

I just sincerely believe I am not a sensor, lol. I mean my mind is actually a little more open to it now but yeah...
 
April said:
How could anyone label you a sensor lol it's highly obvious you're not lol!
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It used to make me facepalm, but these days I think I almost find it flattering. I'd love the idea of having well-developed S functions, even though it probably isn't the case.

So, April = ESFJ? Anyone? :D
 
Ren said:
It used to make me facepalm, but these days I think I almost find it flattering. I'd love the idea of having well-developed S functions, even though it probably isn't the case.

So, April = ESFJ? Anyone? :D
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Good thing is, we can strengthen any function we like with enough dedication :sunglasses:
Yeah I think Id like to develop my Se... into a healthy function and not something I revert to when super stressed. Which doesn't happen that often anymore for some reason. I think it's cause my life has direction and I'm driving the car instead of letting it coast lol.
 
April be like
giphy.gif
 
Done with English for now... I've checked all that list off and now on the Anatomy to study for the quiz tomorrow on the basic structure of the skull. Do I really need to though? I mean I know this already. :p
Wait...
*freaks out*
What if there are trick questions... :/ AND What if "basic" to my instructor isn't really the actual definition of "basic" that society or even just I agree upon, and he asks to name all the foramen and ridges and all of the individual aspects of the bones and sutures too?
>.>
<.<
O.O
*decides to study lots more*

This is relevant in my typing, as you can see how my brain works here sometimes. :tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy:
 
April said:
Done with English for now... I've checked all that list off and now on the Anatomy to study for the quiz tomorrow on the basic structure of the skull. Do I really need to though? I mean I know this already. :p
Wait...
*freaks out*
What if there are trick questions... :/ AND What if "basic" to my instructor isn't really the actual definition of "basic" that society or even just I agree upon, and he asks to name all the foramen and ridges and all of the individual aspects of the bones and sutures too?
>.>
<.<
O.O
*decides to study lots more*

This is relevant in my typing, as you can see how my brain works here sometimes. :tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy:
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There seems to be a fair bit of Ne in there April :p
 
Ren said:
There seems to be a fair bit of Ne in there April :p
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Hey @Ren :) Since I don't have time to research right now due to ungodly amounts of studying, which is fun though... for the most part :) ... would you (or someone else, I don't mind) explain the differences in Ne and Ni? I keep most everything regearding my intuitions inside... and only share that in very deep conversations with friends OR if someone absolutely needs to hear it. This is because.. well... people just don't understand it. I hate feeling like people think I'm dumb just because they don't understand what's going on inside my head, they just don't get it. I sometimes don't even get it... it's so intangible, the thoughts and "predictions" if you will, that I just cannot explain it in a way that seems logical to most people.

I do however, feel comfortable sharing my inner thoughts here, in a group of (sorta, lol) like-minded people who seem to actually understand and "get it". I am very neurotic, and tend to share some of those neurotic thoughts here, as a form of trying to get some sort of comfort or "help" from the "tribe" to ease my inner conflict about things.

But all this has got me wondering, what if I am really ENFJ or whatever else you guys said, lol, but am protecting myself in a way like a few of you thought... because of circumstances in my life that brought about social anxieties? Now, that does not explain why I was this way even as a child... but... still there is enough evidence and people saying these things to make me wonder.

However, none of you really truly know me, you only know my more "Fe" self, because I feel very comfortable here, and it is the internet, I am hiding behind a screen and have no fear of being judged for my physical self.

That beings me to my physical self, which I truly believe has a huge part to play in my anxieties about people. So many times in my life, I have been judged for my weight and my looks, (I don't know if any of you have read my "life story" in my other blog, I know a few have...) but... I slightly wonder if I am truly an extrovert with extreme social anxiety? How would that explain though, the intense need to get away and recharge most of the time. I isolate a lot, I mean... a lot. People get mad. And that has nought to do with how I think they feel about my looks or my weight, or even me as a person. It has to do with the fact that when alone, I can truly, finally relax. I can be me. Free of worrying about someone else, and how they are feeling, free of being bombarded with empathy about everything they say, free of being bombarded with empathy about everything they don't say, free of being "on" for people, if that makes sense.

I'm sorry this is so long, for those of you who choose to read it. And Hos, sorry for apologizing cause you always tell me to stop that lol.

I do know I am not a sensor. And I do know I am not a thinker. so... xNFx seems to be the only thing I am VERY sure about. I will add that even though I love planning and I love schedules, structure, and order, my life seems to go the opposite, almost like I don't have control over it. That drives me insane. I fantansize about having things in order, and I crave tidiness, and organization. I am too lazy though to implement it when I have so many people in my life who destroy my environment when I organize it... that I just let it go. :(

But I can be very "P" because I am rather impulsive at times. Isn't that a "P" trait? Also being very very indecisive? I agonize over the details when making certain decisions... I go through countless "what ifs" in my head... and this is one reason I like to get everyone's input... to calm that inner conflict where I can hardly ever make a certain decision... always on both sides of the fence because I can see both sides clearly. :/ Some decisions I make with ease, though lol.

EDIT... Let me be clear though, I am very capable of independent thought and I do not just blindly follow other people's suggestions. This is a pet peeve of mine, and bothers me because I am not THAT impressionable deep down. I do not submit very easily at ALL, like my ESFJ mother. She has hardly a thought that came from just her self. It always comes from some religious belief or her husband or... something else. This doesn't mean she isn't a great person, she is just very... controllable and easy as hell to manipulate... whereas I am not. This may seem like Fi... who knows. lol But I do not think for one moment that I am ESFJ.

I am rather calm even though this post may seem high energy... but I do feel rather thoughtful. Pensive. Maybe this is the result of all my studying.

Who knows? :) I'll stop typing now. :) I need some input from you guys... to see what you think!
 
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April said:
I need some input from you guys... to see what you think!
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I think you are a warm and compassionate human being, struggling with the self after years of struggles with many other things. really my love, it doesn't matter what"type" you are. what matters is what you have inside for yourself, and what you can give to others. you struggle with self doubt, again, the tapes of the past rumble though our brains with old messages of who we were, and it's hard to shut them off.
I think we all are combinations of every type there is at various moments in our lives, and for the different situations we find ourselves in. . I mean, I am an extreme introvert, but put me in front of a class and I can command the room all day long. . .
be you, that is the perfect type
 
You're lovely David. <3 This is comforting to hear, however, I still LOVE the MBTI discussion. I can be a bit stubborn... hehe. I do still believe I am INFJ. This is not because I want to be a magical unicorn type, or claim to be "rare"... I mean come on... how rare are INFJs if I know at least three or four of them? (Assuming the testing and typing themselves went right, but I know that two of them seem to be very INFJ lol) But it's because that type "fits" me the absolute most. It feels like "home". Ni and Fe feel like "home"... it just feels like me. It makes so much sense. I just like to include others, and I like to hear input. It's always nice to hear what others have to say, so that I can put it in my "bank" of information and use it. If it's good, I use it for confidence, if it's bad, I use it for improving myself. It's that simple :)

I do believe it was @acd that asked me about some INFP traits. I have not had time to fully think on that, but I can give a few examples :) Most of these are when I put myself or my wishes over the "tribe". But it doesn't happen more than going with the tribe. I can be pretty selfish sometimes... and I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean... just putting myself first. What do I want or need, vs what my friends/family want or needs. This I say is a tendency instead of an actual thing about me because I do usually go with what others want instead of myself. So here are a few examples of some INFP traits that I identify with. (Be aware, some of these probably overlap with being INFJ too, but from what I have read so far, these are things INFPs would do or feel that I relate to.

I sometimes don't like to plan social things because what if something else comes up or if I don't feel like doing this thing we are planning? I get anxiety about said plan or I say "It depends on how I feel". Notice the "I" part, it doesn't matter if they really want me to do it, what matters is if I feel like it or not. However I do plan things, like I have planned to go to my bf's sister's house for the 4th of July, and I can't wait. :) I don't care how I feel, I want to visit them and they've been asking us to come over, so it feels good.(When it comes to anything other than social things, boy do I love planning and researching and all that goodness!)

Sometimes, when I want something, I stop at nothing to get it. Even if everyone is telling me it's not smart, or it's not logical or not the right time or whatever. These rarely can be impulses, (and if they are, they sometimes get returned because I convince myself I don't need them lol) but most of the time, it's thought out and planned. Like for instance my phone has slowly been messing up due to me dropping a plate on it, cracking the screen. It's still usuable, but I've been researching phones, and found the exact same phone I had for under 300 bucks... refurbished. I paid like 700 for the one I have now... so I bought it, even though my bf was saying, wait until your phone is unusable, we need to save money. XD I kept trying to reason with him why I needed to go ahead, and he said said FINE WHATEVER APRIL. And I got my way. LOL. This happens very seldom with big purchases, and only when we actually have the money to spare. We are better off now than we were a bit ago, financially speaking. I would NEVER spend bill money or anything like that on an un-needed purchase. But I can be very hard headed and stubborn when I want something. Like a spoiled child or something. :p I have to work on my discipline! I do not like this about myself. Thank God it doesn't happen often.
Another instance of this is when I wanted a newer car, everyone told me it isn't smart, I could get more use out of the car I had, which I had owned for more than ten years! I got one anyway. It was my money and I worked for it. :) There are a few more situations where I put myself first, what I wanted, and going against others' wishes. I didn't use my head very much, I used my heart and what I wanted. These things don't happen very often though, and usually my wants only go as far as researching and being obsessed, lol. Like for instance I have been obsessed with Siberian huskies for as long as I can remember. Especially miniature huskies! Alaskan Klee Kai, Miniature Siberians, and Pomskies... those types of dogs. They are usually between a thousand to four thousands bucks... and I have dreamed of the day! For years. But because it's a big responsibility, and a big purchase, I have not done it. I rescued a beautiful Siberian who was only 40 lbs from the pound, and my ex ended up with her when we split up because I had no place to put her and she died a few years later because he said someone poisoned her. He was sad, I was sad, and if I ever find out who did it.... :mad: At least she got to come visit me here, but I wasn't allowed to keep her permanently :( It was heartbreaking.

Back to the tendencies... sorry about the rabbit trail...

I do replay memories in my mind, and they do provoke strong emotions sometimes. (Si) BUT... I tend to "dream" up scenarios about the future wayyyy more... like 8 out of 10 times, if that makes any difference. Like, dreaming about graduating and becoming a nurse! Owning a home, having pets, etc. (Se happens when I am stressed, I will overeat, overindulge in things I like, buy things... etc... this is what happens when I am stressed)

I do prefer writing to speaking. I am much more comfortable that way, and can freeze up in social situations, anxiety about awkward silences can make me just blurt out things, and that is even more awkward. I hate my anxiety, lol.

I am beginning to see the importance of self. (With growing confidence) What I feel and what I want and need, are actually important.

I sometimes bounce from idea to idea, but usually, I have a particular idea in the back of my mind, and the bouncing is just ways to implement it, which can vary substantially.

But I found a link... and the more I read it.. the more I am convinced I am not an Fi user... the differences in INFP and INFJ when in writing just.. scream at me, and when I read something my whole body is like, "WOW I do that! Wait, that's an INFJ trait, not INFP" LOL

Jesus, I am longwinded as of late. I will post this link in the next post... this one is long...
 
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