Uhhh

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It Doesn't Matter

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Hello, I am new in here. I'm sorry for creating a new topic without really introducing my self but i'm not very good at it, but I need some help...

Let me tell you my story. I am 16 year old and I have feelings for a girl for the first time in my life. I know this sounds like nothing since most of you are adults but it's quite big for me. There is that girl i kindda liked for 2 years but one day it just struck me that I really have feelings for her. One day I just understood that when she is around i feel very calm and nothing can upset me. She is like a medicine for me. I also felt quite nervous when I was talking to her. I felt like I only wanted her to be happy and that i will do everything for her. She also likes me (no point describing how I know it). But there was one problem. I am a peaceful person, I don't party, smoke,drink and all that. I just hang out with my friends from time to time and she is quite the opposite. Now, I know she is not doing all that because she is an idiot but because she is just trying to fit in. But I liked her SO much that i even decided to somehow ignore this fact, which is against my own principles just so I can date her.

For 2 weeks there was a lot of signs both from me and her that we like eachother. Then after days of preparation i finally decided to ask her out. We were both very nervous. I told her that i don't really mind her doing all that stuff (I hoped she will stop) and then I asked her out. She didn't even answer the question, instead she went about why a relationship would not work out. Basically she thinks that I am a good guy and she does a lot of bad stuff, therefore it would be to painful for me to hold on to her. Then she said I'm very cute and all that... and she pretty much ran away.

As a man i felt really bad. I don't consider my self a "sex predator' or a manly guy but it just sucks when you know you won't even hold her hand. I also felt that it was kind of unfair, because she was the one who first started all this and then she refused.

It's has been few days since then. I lost all hope of dating her, but I still have feelings for her. I have to see her everyday at school. We even talk. But when I talk to her I have to try very hard not to start crying out of sorrow. The fact that she is wasting herself and that i can't even help her hurts me. It hurts me that I will never be with her.

The worst thing is that I just can't forget about her. She is in my head all the time. In class I can't focus because i'm looking at her.


I know this sounds pathetic and childish. But i would be very happy if any one of you would at least say that you understand me. Because I feel very lost.

Thank you for your attention if you made it this far.
 
Well, that is life. It's not often fair and people are confusing with their intentions and yes, disappointment hurts. We have all been there. :hug: But chin up! You'll get over it and eventually find someone new. You need to let this particular girl go, though. It hasn't worked out and from the sound of your post, for very good reasons.

Remember the song:

Some boys take a beautiful girl
And hide her away from the rest of the world
I want to be the one to walk in the sun
Oh girls they want to have fun

It's true, especially for sixteen year-old girls. I'm sure your intentions were good, but disapproval is not the best attitude with which to try and start a new relationship. You're better to find someone who shares similar principles to you.
 
Welcome.
You know, this may sound trite. But sometimes things just aren't meant to be. And that's ok.

Maybe you misread her intentions? She likes you, but not in that way.
She is young too and is also learning her way around forming relationships.

She probably did you a favor by turning you down. I know it hurts, but since it sounds like you run in different circles, (Her into partying, and you not so much) it would have been a constant conflict, even if it went unspoken, resentment would build.
It wouldn't be healthy for you to not to be true to yourself, and go along just to get along.
Or, you start partying just to make her happy and it ends up leading you down the wrong road in life.

I have been in your shoes. I understand the heartache you feel. I misread girls signals a time or two when I was about your age, and I got shot down when I asked them out.
There is something about being cast as the "nice guy" that makes it hurt even more though.
The hurt will pass, you will meet someone else who will also be medicine for you.

Who knows. Down the road she may change her ways and come back around. Older, wiser, and more appreciative of that nice guy. :smile:
 
Heh, thank you guys for support. I'm sure I she liked me in the same way as she did, but maybe she has realized that it will not work out before I did. Thank you again. I think I will stay on this forum for some time :)
 
You definitely aren't alone. And I've been that girl--although I was self-destructing in different less-social ways. So I apologize on her behalf. :o) She really doesn't mean to be hurting you. We've all got our own stuff to deal with. You'll both figure it out eventually. Hopefully no one gets too damaged in the process.
 
Just slap her on the ass and call her sweater meat.
 
Don't worry, it doesn't sound pathetic. :grouphug: Many of us have been there in one way or another. I know how hard it is to go to school and to be daily confronted with the one you can't be with. I don't want it to sound harsh by any means but life isn't always what we want it to be, we all get turned down somewhere be it a love interest, a job, a college, etc. What I think is positive is her honesty about it and being upfront in the very beginning instead of playing games with you. I've seen it too often and I think it hurts more. So nose up! Being together with someone who holds opposite views can be extremely draining and heart breaking.
 
It Doesn't Matter said:
One day I just understood that when she is around i feel very calm and nothing can upset me. She is like a medicine for me. I also felt quite nervous when I was talking to her.
Click to expand...

So which is it?

Just realize that you are going to find other more interesting people later on in life and in the big scheme of your life she isnt a big deal.

Also in the future dont go up to someone and tell her how shitty she is and then ask her to give you a chance for love. I mean seriously what were you thinking?
 
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What is sweater meat? I get that it's a euphemism, but spell it out for me please. Is it in reference to a lady's tits?
 
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You don't sound pathetic. You sound like a normal kid who is just crazy in love.

She is right. It won't work. I know that hurts. But it would hurt MORE if you got involved and then had a messy breakup. She has class that she is letting you down easy.
 
acd said:
What is sweater meat? I get that it's a euphemism, but spell it out for me please. Is it in reference to a lady's tits?
Click to expand...

I was wondering that myself. I think it may have something to do with candied bacon -- someone offered me a bacon cupcake the other day and I could not bring myself to eat it, but that is what I immediately thought of.

And to the OP, honestly, I think the people who are saying it's all right, it would not have worked out anyway are probably right. It does suck, and is totally understandable if you are both hurt and disappointed. ): sorry.
 
haha dont worry man. I've been there too and like they said here a few of us have been there haha. worse part? most of my friends are her friends too. I kept dying till I made the decision to step away from that world and pain completely 1 day. took me what...2 years? yeah I know.. I'm halfway insane myself so dont worry! I know saying dont worry means anything now. just try to distract yourself eh? and dont let it affect your future relationships..like they're doing to me now haha
 
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