Under the radar

[technics]

Have you ever realized that you can "go under the radar" (faking it, wearing a mask, chameleon) of Sensors more easily than among Intuitives?

I have a lot of cliques and so naturally, I emphasize a different aspect of my personality depending on the clique I'm currently moving in. The funny thing is that Sensors don't seem to be able to see me as someone totally different. They seem to be forming a picture of me over time. And when I break the consistency of that picture they become totally confused and suspicious about me.

Whereas among my Intuitive friends they don't really care or see whether that picture is consistent or not. Either they know me from the very first moment and so there are no surprises. Or they just take the inconsistency for granted and take me as I am.

 

[aeon]

I used to consider if that was true. I don

 

[Sriracha]

A sensor sees what lies on the surface. As long as everything appears to be in working order, there is no problem.

Here is a prime example and I'll be very forthright with something very personal.

There is a void my ISTJ husband cannot fill and will never be able to fill. So in order to lessen that void I feel from him, I fill it with other positive things ... such as my children, my volunteer work, lunch with best friends, etc ... things where I derive the pleasure of feeling. Because I choose to do this, what lies on the surface of myself appears to be in fine working order and so he continues day to day thinking everything is just ducky. It is only if I choose to live a miserable existence would he understand the depth of my issue.

I have had many conversations with him about this, so please don't think it is not something I have tried to tackle. He just happens to be wired entirely different, and does not understand ... nor has the capability of understanding what my issue is. So I just accept it as ... it is what it is and make the situation for me as positive as I can.

 

[JGirl]

A sensor sees what lies on the surface. As long as everything appears to be in working order, there is no problem.

Here is a prime example and I'll be very forthright with something very personal.

There is a void my ISTJ husband cannot fill and will never be able to fill. So in order to lessen that void I feel from him, I fill it with other positive things ... such as my children, my volunteer work, lunch with best friends, etc ... things where I derive the pleasure of feeling. Because I choose to do this, what lies on the surface of myself appears to be in fine working order and so he continues day to day thinking everything is just ducky. It is only if I choose to live a miserable existence would he understand the depth of my issue.

I have had many conversations with him about this, so please don't think it is not something I have tried to tackle. He just happens to be wired entirely different, and does not understand ... nor has the capability of understanding what my issue is. So I just accept it as ... it is what it is and make the situation for me as positive as I can.

i understand this completely

 

[Gaze]

A sensor sees what lies on the surface. As long as everything appears to be in working order, there is no problem.

have to agree. I know a sensor very well and as long as you're smiling and laughing or showing her you're happy or feel good, she seems to believe it. It doesn't seem to matter what's happening underneath as long as everything seems great on the surface.

 

[Sriracha]

have to agree. I know a sensor very well and as long as you're smiling and laughing or showing her you're happy or feel good, she seems to believe it. It doesn't seem to matter what's happening underneath as long as everything seems great on the surface.

It cracks me up b/c if a sensor is having a bad day EVERYONE IS GONNA HAVE A BAD DAY TOO! LOL It's not a bad thing that they are always true to themselves and everyone around them on the surface, but I do find it annoying that if they are having a problem with something they will obsess about it until it is fixed.

If a sensor fell into a deep depression ... they would not be able to function at all .... unlike the INFJ who can do what they need to do to get through the day (the mask to which the OP refers.)

 

[Gaze]

It cracks me up b/c if a sensor is having a bad day EVERYONE IS GONNA HAVE A BAD DAY TOO! LOL It's not a bad thing that they are always true to themselves and everyone around them on the surface, but I do find it annoying that if they are having a problem with something they will obsess about it until it is fixed.

If a sensor fell into a deep depression ... they would not be able to function at all .... unlike the INFJ who can do what they need to do to get through the day (the mask to which the OP refers.)

I know she is aware of what's going on but it's a bit tiring sometimes. When she is in a good mood, she overwhelms everyone with it. She can't understand why everyone doesn't feel the way she does.

 

[JGirl]

[MENTION=4423]Sriracha[/MENTION]
my partner is an ESFJ
because he feels such a strong responsibility to make everything right for me (and he cannot) it's just easier on my nerves if i put on a happy face all the time.
it's more stress for me to feel his stress than deal with the stress of him not being able to fill that void.
i understand that it's up to me to fill voids i find in my life. he cannot be everything, and to be honest i would rather he is not my everything. if he were, and he were to be gone from my life i would be in big trouble!!

 

[Sriracha]

[MENTION=4423]Sriracha[/MENTION]
my partner is an ESFJ
because he feels such a strong responsibility to make everything right for me (and he cannot) it's just easier on my nerves if i put on a happy face all the time.
it's more stress for me to feel his stress than deal with the stress of him not being able to fill that void.
i understand that it's up to me to fill voids i find in my life. he cannot be everything, and to be honest i would rather he is not my everything. if he were, and he were to be gone from my life i would be in big trouble!!

Very good point!

 

[Norton]

I am always "under the radar" because I am a mystery to everyone except the few with whom I am close. I prefer it that way, and so would most other people, although they don't know it. I've sought anonymity and wealth, in that order.

 

[Soulful]

have to agree. I know a sensor very well and as long as you're smiling and laughing or showing her you're happy or feel good, she seems to believe it. It doesn't seem to matter what's happening underneath as long as everything seems great on the surface.

How might an intuitive respond differently?

It cracks me up b/c if a sensor is having a bad day EVERYONE IS GONNA HAVE A BAD DAY TOO! LOL It's not a bad thing that they are always true to themselves and everyone around them on the surface, but I do find it annoying that if they are having a problem with something they will obsess about it until it is fixed.

If a sensor fell into a deep depression ... they would not be able to function at all .... unlike the INFJ who can do what they need to do to get through the day (the mask to which the OP refers.)

I know she is aware of what's going on but it's a bit tiring sometimes. When she is in a good mood, she overwhelms everyone with it. She can't understand why everyone doesn't feel the way she does.

Would you guys say this is true for all sensors, or a matter of maturity?

 

[Gaze]

How might an intuitive respond differently?

Intuitives have a much harder time accepting what's on the surface especially if they see or are more aware of what's going on underneath. We know Ss and Ns process information differently or else personality theory would not exist. And it really isn't good to stereotype any type of course, but there are differences between the types. And those differences are not necessarily bad. They are just unique.

 

[Gaze]

Would you guys say this is true for all sensors, or a matter of maturity?

First off, mature intuitives would recognise that other types may not see or notice things they do and probably shouldn't expect others to know what they're thinking and read their minds.

While a more mature S would probably be more appreciate or understand that other types are not going to process things immediately in the moment as they do or enjoy or experience the world through sensory information as quickly or strongly as they do. They will not dismiss or disregard something as dumb or stupid because they don't notice or pick up on it themselves, something I notice Ss will often do without intending to.

 

[Soulful]

Intuitives have a much harder time accepting what's on the surface especially if they see or are more aware of what's going on underneath. We know Ss and Ns process information differently or else personality theory would not exist. And it really isn't good to stereotype any type of course, but there are differences between the types. And those differences are not necessarily bad. They are just unique.

I'm not sure I understand..
I understand that sensors might be more inclined to believe what's presented without probing beyond the surface. But surely Ns do this to an extent, too, especially if the masks others wear are worn well? Or do you mean a situation in which someone is sending off signals intuitives (including non-empathic/ not-emotion-oriented NTs) would pick up on that sensors don't, giving us the impression of the sensor as a sort of oblivious character? I hope that makes sense!

First off, mature intuitives would recognise that other types may not see or notice things they do and probably shouldn't expect others to know what they're thinking and read their minds.

While a more mature S would probably be more appreciate or understand that other types are not going to process things immediately in the moment as they do or enjoy or experience the world through sensory information as quickly or strongly as they do. They will not dismiss or disregard something as dumb or stupid because they don't notice or pick up on it themselves, something I notice Ss will often do without intending to.

Okay. I wonder if I have an unfair expectation here in assuming that being aware of the fact that each person occupies a different world and does not think or feel things in the way we do, thus does not respond in the way we do, is a sign of maturity/emotional intelligence rather than personality. I think I need to get out into the world more and start paying greater attention to these kinds of interactions.

Thanks.

 

[Gaze]

I'm not sure I understand..
I understand that sensors might be more inclined to believe what's presented without probing beyond the surface. But surely Ns do this to an extent, too, especially if the masks others wear are worn well? Or do you mean a situation in which someone is sending off signals intuitives (including non-empathic/ not-emotion-oriented NTs) would pick up on that sensors don't, giving us the impression of the sensor as a sort of oblivious character? I hope that makes sense!

My point was not that Sensors can't intuit or Intuitives can't sense. I think it goes beyond masks. This is more foundational - how they process information. Well, both intuitives and sensors notice different things. Intuitives and sensores are more likely to notice particular types of information or details based on how they take in information. From what I understand, this is how personality theory works. What information we pick up and how we pick up is not the same across types it seems.

I don't think we are or can be alway aware of everything of course. I think every type has the ability to point something out that the other types haven't noticed. So, in some way, we are all oblivious to a degree. I am always questioning whether I'm intuitive. I honestly don't know if I am. But I just go along with the N type since that's what was presented.

But I really couldn't explain to anyone why I'm intuitive which would not be based in some way on stereotypes of NFs or Ns. But this doesn't mean those differences are any less real.

 

[Sriracha]

Would you guys say this is true for all sensors, or a matter of maturity?

One can never say it is true for all. I'm sure there are many sensors out there who have developed some intuitive trait or try different approaches to conflict. For all the sensors I know very well, yes it is true for them. I see it more as a personality trait.

Maturity lends the ability to learn new coping methods by experience. My oldest son (9) is also a sensor and is truly a more "pure immature form" where he has not learned coping methods during a conflict. When he is faced with any sort of conflict his frustration and anger appear very exaggerated. He worries until it is resolved. Normally I'm able to talk him through what ever it is to calm him down. When my husband is faced with conflict he will think about it and think about it (and talk about it like a broken record) until he can get some kind of resolve. Time has lent him the ability to rationalize actions, but still it is something in which he will lose sleep until there is some sort of resolve (or outlet.) Trust me, when the wheels are turning in his head at 100 mph ... I can pick up on this energy and feel the same agitation. That energy is VERY overwhelming.

I can say this though: My husband does look to me for my advice and insight into conflicts often. The different perspective helps him to resolve a situation quicker. (Which is what I need as well in order to feel there is harmony in the house.)

 

[Soulful]

My point was not that Sensors can't intuit or Intuitives can't sense. I think it goes beyond masks. This is more foundational - how they process information. Well, both intuitives and sensors notice different things. Intuitives and sensores are more likely to notice particular types of information or details based on how they take in information. From what I understand, this is how personality theory works. What information we pick up and how we pick up is not the same across types it seems.

I don't think we are or can be alway aware of everything of course. I think every type has the ability to point something out that the other types haven't noticed. So, in some way, we are all oblivious to a degree I am always questioning whether I'm intuitive. I honestly don't know if I am. But I just go along with the N type since that's what was presented.

But I really couldn't anyone or explain to anyone why I'm intuitive which would not be based in some way on stereotypes of NFs or Ns. But this doesn't mean those differences are any less real.

Of course. I think you're spot on in your understanding of the theory.
It's ok.

And, if it helps, you've never really come off as a sensor. You seem pretty intuitive.

 

[namiasdf]

I get this a lot too.
I do a lot of accommodating for my various cliques, and it can become stressful.
How extreme are these changes though?
I know I have a base personality, that I keep consistent, then there are small things I do to ensure I maintain a level of happiness where my empathy isn't invoked lol.