Unhealthy INFJ

[barbad0s]

yeah niffer i think those qualities are a problem and have to be integrated properly but basically they are part of being who i am in my healthy state for me. (i know that probably sounds terrible. but for example batshit goes with creativity and anal goes with getting things done.)

lol yeah, there are good and bad sides to those

i think unhealthy infj is kind of worse actually. for me closer to what GracieRuth mentioned. extraverting too much. delighting in sensory information to the exclusion of any other thing. becoming selfishly careless about he feelings of others. not taking care of property or self. attacking the self, doing self-destructive things.

and then getting further into extremes of unhealth there is the infj dark side. passionate fury and rage, tendency to become possessed with hatred. destructively pulling apart the personalities of others. feeling a certainty in own rightness and unable to compromise or perceive other perspectives. yummy things like that.

ic

 

[invisible]

ic

orly

 

[barbad0s]

up

 

[christmas]

Generally the worst INFJ traits one could have are:

- Judgemental of everyone
- Hypocritical -- has a stated value system upon which he may judge others, but does not follow it.
- Manipulative of others (everything has an alterior motive)
- Plays the victim role a lot
- Way way way touchy, ready to go on the offensive at any time
- Muted. Nothering comes out.
- Overly subjective. Makes predictions about people, but a lot of them are polluted by the INFJ's emotional state.
- Too people pleasing. This extends beyond the INFJs wish for the greater good (health and happiness for all) and is simply done because the INFJ doesnt want to anger anyone -- therefore he will become locked into pleasing the wrong people. This contributes to the INFJs negative state.
- Fearful. Is ineffective because he cannot take action out of fear of rocking the boat. May also incite anxiety in others due to his own anxious state.
- Egotistical. Takes offense at anything which may threaten said INFJ's ego (such accepting another persons help because it will make the INFJ feel inferior)

oooo. i totally did this at the post office last week. -18593057 cool points from my total

 

[knight in battle]

Psychologists seem to hold opinions about what is healthy and what is unhealthy. Luckily a number of them tend not to be rigid in those definitions of healthy vs unhealthy, but most seem to agree on the general traits that characterize the standards of "mental health".

As mentioned, some traits are considered highly unacceptable by society, and others are simply looked down upon (such as introversion). In spite of all this, I do believe there is an objective standard of mental health.

Ironically I feel that my self-acceptance of my particular level of introversion is precisely what allows me to function "healthily" (i.e., in a peaceful, low-anxiety state). I believe an INFJ needs to be very careful about other people's valuations - even to dismiss those valuations and distance themselves from people have a sadistic tendency to give them negative stimuli or over-criticism - given the INFJ's absorption of other people's emotions.

I have always found helpful, after intuitively gauging the evaluation or feelings of someone else, to ask myself, "I can kinda understand what this person feels about me or wants me to do. Now what do I want to do? How do I feel about myself? (And subsequently...) Let me go to activities and people that allow me to feel grounded in myself again." And being interactive/analytical on a forum such as this one is one of those activities.

 

[Agnostic Monk]

The worst thing for me is if I don't feel completely comfortable with a person or situation, I often don't express myself accurately, especially when talking about myself. In fact, when I feel threatened, I have this uncontrollable urge to rebel and "go the other way" with people, to shock their worldview and prove some complex philosophical point. I usually end up saying something bad about myself that isn't true, which is something that's hard to take back, because the vast majority of people cannot comprehend why anyone would ever say something bad about themselves that is in fact not true.

 

[knight in battle]

when I feel threatened, I have this uncontrollable urge to rebel and "go the other way" with people, to shock their worldview and prove some complex philosophical point. I usually end up saying something bad about myself that isn't true, which is something that's hard to take back, because the vast majority of people cannot comprehend why anyone would ever say something bad about themselves that is in fact not true.

I think when you say something bad about yourself that isn't true, you are subconsciously projecting what other people think about you. Perhaps you are seeking to expose their attitudes and challenge those attitudes. People may not "get it" right away, but it's not unreasonable to suppose that someone (an Ne or Fe?) is processing what your true meaning was.

Saying untrue bad things about yourself may be a form of polarizing the (supposed) opinions of others, so that they are forced to see their opinions in a magnified form. Thus, they feel the effect of their views in greater magnitude and must either justify (inwardly or outwardly) or rethink their views.

 

[Agnostic Monk]

Great insights. Thanks.

I think there's another element at play for me in these situations, and that's the tendency to actually act like the person I think the other person thinks I am. I've been able to mostly get rid of this habit over the last several years, as I've become more mature and in control, but it still rears its head sometimes.

 

[knight in battle]

I think there's another element at play for me in these situations, and that's the tendency to actually act like the person I think the other person thinks I am.

Thanks for mentioning this. Same here.
One alternative is to withhold greater than usual emotional display until the right moment it feels right to be friendlier or more playful. Ironically, this is based on Fe, again basing our actions and comfort level on the perceived comfort level of the other (i.e., When X sees me as 70% friendly/safe, I'll feel free to be 70% friendly. Also, when X is 40% playful around me, then I'll feel free to be 40% playful around them.)