First off, you don't want a relationship with someone who is attracted specifically to bottling-it-up syndrome (trust me ,_,). Secondly and related to the first part, that's a sure way to limit the potential of any relationship and/or ruin it entirely. Bottling up also causes you to be a bitter and stressful person.
What is weakness is being ashamed about your emotions and trying to ignore them rather than working with them and/or changing them.
Contrary to popular belief in some circles, plenty of women like emotionally expressive men (read expressive, not emotionally unreasonable ). The smarter and more "mature" the woman, the more likely they are to appreciate this kind of honesty and openness.
In this case, the problem of eventually becoming extremely frustrated, being stressed and feeling unable to let go of this could have been avoided by talking with her about how you felt much sooner, and that you didn't quite understand her behavior and wanted her to explain it. You would have gained understanding from that, and she would have gained understanding about you too. While it wouldn't necessarily have lead to a romantic relationship taking root, it would have made getting over her not wanting one easier. It is difficult to process events one does not understand.
If anything, your inner predicaments came from being too afraid of properly expressing yourself emotionally, not the other way around.
If you really need to find out how someone else feels, you can always cut the bullshit ways societies has deemed normative for gradually reaching closeness, and have an honest chat to understand the behavior of the other person that perplexes you.
If you like someone a lot and they don't feel the same way, it's not the end of the world if people find out. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
