To answer the original questions,
1. How do you love? = By being creative and taking a stake in the positive outcome of another!
I actually used to study mortuary science, and I have a thing I do where I write a poem to honor every person who dies. It sounds dumb, but it comforts people. I also wrote a class song once where every classmate was mentioned on a different line of the song (whatever special thing they were known for), which helped to create team spirit. After that, the class began talking more and got more inspired. I think "random intangible gifts/talents that you share" could be a means of accomplishing love. Then again, even holding the door for someone could be love too, if the alternative is that somebody gets hit with it. Love likely varies in intensity, depending upon what the circumstance calls for. It may be an issue where two spouses look at the same circumstance (like this thing with the dog) and have a different level of "arousal" about how much action to take, or perhaps different levels of love toward the dog. Not all people view animals as equal to humans, but (again, having studied the dead), I believe that whatever gives us spirit also gives the animals spirit. So whatever happens to us is what happens to them in the end. They also say you can judge a society by how they treat their animals. I digress...
2. Love= Doesn't tangibly exist in my opinion, or at least that's what they taught me in AP bio years ago, haha! It starts out hormonally when we're born... A mother's oxytocin is to bond you to her. Later, your own oxytocin is to bond you to the spouse you've chosen, and finally to the next generation. There are other hormones involved, like dopamine, but I'm trying to bring this baby in for a landing. Cavewomen were single-mothers typically by the time the kids were about age 4, since the cavemen would wander off to start the next family. Hormones back in those days only lasted up to 4 years (they did not live very long lifespans)... Today, we have the "7 year itch" because we live longer, and we have things like female birth control that alter one's natural chemicals. I think of everything related to love in terms of biology... evolution had to keep us going somehow, so this "marriage" thing seemed to work for a temporary period of time. I don't think biology intended for all humans to be monogamous and committed beyond 7 years though. Some lucky people are wired to do so (and that's super, because we need good parents out there!), but I think with the divorce rate at 50%, it's fair to say that perhaps half of people have the "cavepeople preference" or whatever. Then the kids of divorced people may grow up jaded, and have a different understanding of love (perhaps a more materialistic view) compared to their classmates who came from 2-parent households, and it becomes a vicious cycle of divorce.
3. Loyalty= Doing what you say you're going to do... this is a lot of the duty/commitment type of stuff. You can be a "loyal" employee, for example, if you have good attendance and promote the mission of the agency. The same thing is true for friends and family, only the mission of a family or a friendship is different.
4. Friendship= giving and receiving honest feedback; feeling like you're with people who represent what you believe in. I think the Ancient Greeks had this down pat.
“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.” -- Seneca
, particularly when they are focused on a specific project - causing them to lose track of priorities and what is important etc. Anyway the faults and quirks you describe is normal and all part of being in a relationship so hoping for a quick resolution for you both and the dog. 