What does a Deep Connection mean to an INFJ?

^^^ thanks for sharing the video, it was interesting but Mr. Sagan and I have completely different world views so it didn't really click with me, sorry...

on 'getting the connection', I talked to my wife about it and what I have learned so far and she was very excited about it and what I shared with her, and after that wehad the best 3 hour conversation together that we have had in many years... just enjoying each other and talking about random topics that are meaningful to us (in depth of course, and at a relaxed pace, not in any hurry to reach a conclusion or goal more focused on the many different possibilities, and the whys of those possibilities, basking in the gray areas :) ) ...
 
Caneman said:
when you have a gift like that you just believe everyone thinks that way too... until you realize this isn't true at all and most people are going to be several steps behind you in their thinking...

most people who have gifts dont think they are any big deal because it comes so naturally and effortless to them...
Click to expand...

-_- I cannot express to you how much that realization sucks.
 
To some level, it means that you've seen her heart, and she have seen yours, and they both apparently click to some level.<

/romantic
 
it sounds like you are doing a great job. its awesome that you are engaging with and appreciating your wife in a way that you try to see things from her perspective rather than yours. it means that you care about how she thinks and feels. sounds obvious but i know from my own experience of relationships that because intimate relationships are so emotionally intense at times, its easy to just get caught up in own feelings and stop thinking about how the other person sees things.

this may not be very helpful. i think "love" is important. but i think even more important is being able to respect each other. you have your own unique qualities and abilities, "type" or otherwise, that you can offer to a relationship. as i get older myself i am not sure whether i want a "deep connection" as much as i want "mutual respect". appreciating each others differences is what makes us work to get along together. so take time to appreciate your self as well and the things that you have to offer to your wife. ISTJ types can be very good at caring for others and sheltering them while letting them be themselves and experience things their way too. my 2c
 
^^^ thank you, hits home with me... my wife is not quite there yet but i have faith in the goodness that is in her that she will be there too
 
INFJ
Ni
Fe
Ti
Se

ISTJ
Si
Te
Fi
Ne

I'm amazed that an ISTJ like yourself is searching for the deeper meaning when normally it would not interest you whatsoever. It shows the devotion and love you have for your wife as well as your level of personal development.

To be frank its quite extra ordinary for an INFJ and ISTJ marry as you don't share any cognitive functions. Friendships usually build around sharing functions, but patience has to be exercised with someone who has no functions in common.

So its quite draining for you as an ISTJ and for her as an INFJ spending time together and on top of that both of your dominant functions are each others devil functions. So you will never ever truly understand each other because the way you are and view the world your wife has no ability whatsoever to do. It's not even possible to develop it with time, the only choice you have is to accept it and learn to live with it or move on.
 
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