What IS an INFJ?

[VH]

Some people arrive at these places beat-down and world-weary. These people do need to feel special in some way.

The best part about finding out that I was an INFJ was the fact that I wasn't unique and there actually were other people in the world like me. There wasn't anything wrong with me, and there were others who understood where I was coming from. After a lifetime of feeling like an outsider in my own life, family, and relationships, I finally felt like I belonged.

 

[subwayrider]

The best part about finding out that I was an INFJ was the fact that I wasn't unique and there actually were other people in the world like me. There wasn't anything wrong with me, and there were others who understood where I was coming from. After a lifetime of feeling like an outsider in my own life, family, and relationships, I finally felt like I belonged.

Gold.

I felt the exact same way -- except that I thought I was INTJ at first. A common mistake.

"Unique" has a certain connotation, though, that renders me inclined to see it as the wrong word -- my inconsequential afterthought.

I also want to say that, having found one's tribe, it becomes much easier to sink into the herd mentality. This is whence the superiority complex springs, and admittedly, it can become a real problem. Thus, as important as it is to find one's tribe and to feel accepted, it's important to stay connected to, and nonjudgmental of, the same world that cast you into exile. If followed through, it's a very spiritual process.

 

[muir]

The best part about finding out that I was an INFJ was the fact that I wasn't unique and there actually were other people in the world like me. There wasn't anything wrong with me, and there were others who understood where I was coming from. After a lifetime of feeling like an outsider in my own life, family, and relationships, I finally felt like I belonged.

Yes

I think there is this missunderstanding by some cynical non INFJ's that when an INFJ read's something like 'INFJ's are the rarest type' that their head swells up and they think 'yay i'm special' when in reality what they feel when they find out about personality types and what their type is, is relief

 

[muir]

Gold.

I felt the exact same way -- except that I thought I was INTJ at first. A common mistake.

"Unique" has a certain connotation, though, that renders me inclined to see it as the wrong word -- my inconsequential afterthought.

I also want to say that, having found one's tribe, it becomes much easier to sink into the herd mentality. This is whence the superiority complex springs, and admittedly, it can become a real problem. Thus, as important as it is to find one's tribe and to feel accepted, it's important to stay connected to, and nonjudgmental of, the same world that cast you into exile. If followed through, it's a very spiritual process.

I think that self acceptance is an important part of living a stable life and i think learning about personality types helps in that process but also helps in accepting others as well

 

[apemon]

what they feel when they find out about personality types and what their type is, is relief

THIS

 

[VH]

what they feel when they find out about personality types and what their type is, is relief




THIS

Perzactly.

I think people who want to be "unique" aren't, and people who are "unique" don't want to be.

Then again, maybe it's just the Fe wanting to belong, combined with the Ni and Ti that shows us just how much we don't. I mean, even INFJs try to remove the title from each other... which is part of why I wrote this article, so we'd have a better understanding of what actually makes an INFJ, and the scope of differences that exist within this model.

 

[subwayrider]

I mean, even INFJs try to remove the title from each other... which is part of why I wrote this article, so we'd have a better understanding of what actually makes an INFJ, and the scope of differences that exist within this model.

Word. I've been thinking of starting a thread called "INFJ Witch Trials" where we would freely accuse self-proclaimed INFJs of not actually being INFJs -- with no evidence whatsoever needed. We would tie the accused to a rock, throw them in the river and...

if they float, they're INFJ. If they sink, then they're not INFJ.​

 

[TheDoctor]

I was relived that I wasn't the only person who thinks like I do. 28 years of thinking my brain processed information completely different from EVERYONE else and I finally found out that I wasn't the only one.

I think part of the problem is that people will try to tell me (and I'm sure other INFJs) that I think like them, when I know I think completely different.

I do not want to be unique, I just want to be different.

 

[subwayrider]

I think part of the problem is that people will try to tell me (and I'm sure other INFJs) that I think like them, when I know I think completely different.

I do not want to be unique, I just want to be different.

You know, it's cool and all for us to "find ourselves" and finally belong, but the few MB literatures I've read, and especially the internet sources, do a job of putting INFJs on a pedestal and thus elevating egos to unhealthy levels. It reminds me of the clichéd tales of the powerless coming into power, becoming seduced by that power, and consequently being unwilling, then, to let it go. Yeah, it's helped my confidence, I guess, but one day I'll have to completely abandon looking at the world through this lens that has become a crutch.

It's seemingly even worse the effect on a lot of INTJs, but that's a horse of a different color.

It's the familiar process of letting go of something you started to believe you couldn't live without -- like when I quit smoking weed every day. It's scary to part from the comfortable and known, but it opens up vast new possibilities. There can be healthy self-esteem without constant awareness of INFJ...

am I losing myself to this monster?​

 

[barbad0s]

There can be healthy self-esteem without constant awareness of INFJ...

am I losing myself to this monster?​

I'm willing to bet that, even further than that, there *can't* be healthy anything *with* constant awareness of a personality description that you associate yourself with.

People want to know where they stand in the world, and can feel a greater sense of the void without the use of some "crutch" like that for their ego. MB is teh drugz. But while you can explore yourself and grow within the limitations of that ego that's been handed to you, it eventually becomes a form of losing or blocking understanding of who you are beyond that or in contrary to that.

 

[VH]

I'm willing to bet that, even further than that, there *can't* be healthy anything *with* constant awareness of a personality description that you associate yourself with.

People want to know where they stand in the world, and can feel a greater sense of the void without the use of some "crutch" like that for their ego. MB is teh drugz. But while you can explore yourself and grow within the limitations of that ego that's been handed to you, it eventually becomes a form of losing or blocking understanding of who you are beyond that or in contrary to that.

... and eventually self limiting.

 

[the]

I was relived that I wasn't the only person who thinks like I do. 28 years of thinking my brain processed information completely different from EVERYONE else and I finally found out that I wasn't the only one.

I think part of the problem is that people will try to tell me (and I'm sure other INFJs) that I think like them, when I know I think completely different.

I do not want to be unique, I just want to be different.

How do you think differently than everyone else? Specific examples please.

 

[SealHammer]

Word. I've been thinking of starting a thread called "INFJ Witch Trials" where we would freely accuse self-proclaimed INFJs of not actually being INFJs -- with no evidence whatsoever needed. We would tie the accused to a rock, throw them in the river and...

if they float, they're INFJ. If they sink, then they're not INFJ.​

A thread entirely for containing the copious "no true INFJ"isms? I'm totally down for that. In fact, can I steal that idea and implement it myself?

 

[TheDoctor]

How do you think differently than everyone else? Specific examples please.

Generally I connect relationships of objects faster than other people. When I was younger (early and mid teens) I would laugh at something I thought of, based on odd connections, and try to explain it to others. I would just get odd looks from people my age.

I would understand things most people wouldn't when I was 8. My mom and I talked when I was on leave about me when I was younger. She told me how I would frustrate her and my dad. I would understand something and they wouldn't so they would ask how to do it. I would give directions and start at step (a) and move to step (h). I didn't realize there were steps I skipped because I thought it was stuff everyone knew, and that they would connect it too.

I know I am different, I just want to be accepted. I am tired of not being "manly enough". I am tired of stereo types that I don't fit into, that other people want me to be defined by.

 

[TheDoctor]

You know, it's cool and all for us to "find ourselves" and finally belong, but the few MB literatures I've read, and especially the internet sources, do a job of putting INFJs on a pedestal and thus elevating egos to unhealthy levels. It reminds me of the clichéd tales of the powerless coming into power, becoming seduced by that power, and consequently being unwilling, then, to let it go. Yeah, it's helped my confidence, I guess, but one day I'll have to completely abandon looking at the world through this lens that has become a crutch.

It's seemingly even worse the effect on a lot of INTJs, but that's a horse of a different color.

It's the familiar process of letting go of something you started to believe you couldn't live without -- like when I quit smoking weed every day. It's scary to part from the comfortable and known, but it opens up vast new possibilities. There can be healthy self-esteem without constant awareness of INFJ...

am I losing myself to this monster?​

I agree. I find that a lot of the people who talk themselves up have validation issues and are projecting them on others. Also, limiting your self to a set system of beliefs (MBTI) is dangerous. I try to keep my paradigm open as best possible.

 

[INFJok]

I agree. I find that a lot of the people who talk themselves up have validation issues and are projecting them on others. Also, limiting your self to a set system of beliefs (MBTI) is dangerous. I try to keep my paradigm open as best possible.

I have experienced that after I found out that I was an INFJ, that I gravitated to this image because it peeked my curiosity because it was dead on (personality wise). Before this I was into astrology, then i questioned how all these people born in a certain time of
month had the same personality. I was just trying to get validation from somewhere that there were people like me somewhere because I was always different or the odd-one-out! But I do see myself obsessing over the MBTI INFJ stuff.

 

[subwayrider]

A thread entirely for containing the copious "no true INFJ"isms? I'm totally down for that. In fact, can I steal that idea and implement it myself?

Yeah dawg

 

[apemon]

I try to keep my paradigm open as best possible.

I gotta go with this big time. I think different experiences give us unique opportunities for learning if we can break thru some of our self-imposed limits, whatever they are. openness is a big key to this.