What to you indicates maturity in a person?

[bijo]

and what would you consider immature?

your opinions please

 

[arbygil]

I think it can depend on your age, and your interests.

Me, I think you can be mature or immature at any age, but I usually judge immaturity by someone's attitude rather than by what they own/collect/read/etc.

 

[bijo]

^tell me more, what particularities of attitude are you referring to?

 

[Sloe Djinn]

Huh. You got me thinking. I thought it would be fairly simple to answer at first, but it's proven to be deceivingly difficult for me to come up with something to say...

I want to say something along the lines of minimization of one's needs, which kind of ties into a Buddhist perspective. It seems like this would develop a strong character with a benevolent nature and less tendency to aspire to goals that could harm others.

But that doesn't hit the nail on the head as far as what I'd like to say!

Good question!!!

 

[enfp can be shy]

The broken childish curiosity that lives in each of us. Enforced, dumbed down, afraid, peer-pressured, abused by their own children, people who either turn to becoming cruel, powerful and insensitive; or become weak and opinionless workers, sacrificing themselves for their families.

I see maturity as an act of unnatural violence.

Normally it shouldn't exist. Scientists, great thinkers, and artists/writers, are often rather immature, by all standards. So maybe being mature isn't such a useful thing, and kinda serves like slaverish cult, which is being reinforced between generations.

I still tend to use the word, mainly indicating that one may grow and learn some things that doesn't know now, or learn skills. However the word itself is meaningless, and since I don't like loose inhumane definitions, it usually makes me uneasy to use it for anything.

 

[dneecey]

Hmm.. I think we have a thread about this somewhere. It was created by NAI... *goes traipsing about looking for said thread*

 

[Sloe Djinn]

However the word itself is meaningless, and since I don't like loose inhumane definitions, it usually makes me uneasy to use it for anything.

Interesting point!!! Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time trying to come up with a definition.

 

[dneecey]

http://forum.infjs.com/showthread.php?t=7494

Here we go darling.


And this is what I wrote in that particular thread..

I think people have reached a point of maturity when they know who they are, have a particular set of values/ideals, and are still able to look at other peoples sides of the coin, regardless if they agree or not. Also, they know how, and when to share their own points of view in a way that may rise debate, but isn't meant as an attack. Also you have a realistic sense of responsibility for your actions and words. You see things not only in a selfish manner, but are able to stand outside of the box for a bit and look at the whole picture that you just happen to be a part of..

People who are this way, or are working to be this way, are more mature in my opinion.. They've grown up past the baby phase of give me, give me, give me.. and are seeing the bigger picture.

 

[Sloe Djinn]

Now that I think about it, perhaps the difficulty lies in the fact that the word itself is so broad. The concept of maturity can be applied to a number of different aspects. Physical, mental, emotional, social and so on and so forth.

 

[Barnabas]

Maturity is like porn, you know it when you see it.

 

[NeverAmI]

I often hear people talk of maturity in everyday life that seem to contradict themselves.

For example: Sometimes I will be childlike, not in a temper tantrum sort of way, but rather in a playful humorous sort of way. Someone gets emotionally upset and tells me to "grow up." I ask what the problem is and they state that I am being "immature."

This confuses me! What part of me seems to be immature? What is immaturity? Most of the people felt good, I was not being offensive, I was not criticizing anyone, I was simply being playful and making others laugh.

To me, laughter is something inextricably tied into maturity. Laughter, assuming it is not at the cost of anyone else, seems to bring hope, spirit, and liveliness to those who embrace it. How is such an action then, immature? If we are better able to live our lives by being happy, by laughing and loving, then where does the problem of maturity lie?

Could it be that the person who emotionally overreacts to seemingly little to no threat, and in turn causes the rest of the group to fall into negativity could be exhibiting signs of immaturity?

That isn't to say that their overreaction is never elicited. Sometimes we are simply unaware of how our actions can affect others.

Perhaps the truly mature person is aware of both sides of the situation? The person that seeks full understanding?

There is a certain level of responsibility in life to ensure you can survive, perhaps to find the most efficient means, and even assisting others who depend on you equates to maturity?

Of course, there are many needs in life, our intellect seems able to expand so far beyond the mere necessities that the complexity can be staggering in the least.

 

[BlinkandThink]

Whenever I spot a quality I don't want to have, it has a very high probability of being "mature."

 

[NeverAmI]

Whenever I spot a quality I don't want to have, it has a very high probability of being "mature."

Do you think that person which uses the label with a negative connotation truly understands the meaning of the word or do they embrace fallacy in order to elicit an emotional response?

Perhaps my question is too specific in terms of your response.

 

[Sloe Djinn]

Do you think that person which uses the label with a negative connotation truly understands the meaning of the word or do they embrace fallacy in order to elicit an emotional response?

Perhaps my question is too specific in terms of your response.

That statement with that avatar. Something about it just cracks me up! XD

 

[NeverAmI]

That statement with that avatar. Something about it just cracks me up! XD

I tend to be a walking contradiction.

 

[j e s s i e]

Maturity is a vague concept that is interpreted in a bunch of different ways. I'm not sure about it, myself, but it's true that you'll know it when you see it. If I had to give one quality of a mature person, it would be the ability to always see both sides of a coin, and to be able to make decisions based on their understanding of each.

One of my pet peeves is when you're called "immature" for getting emotional over something, when emotion is an unavoidable, natural part of life. Even the most mature people have things that break them down, so it ticks me off when I get that comment.

 

[BlinkandThink]

Do you think that person which uses the label with a negative connotation truly understands the meaning of the word or do they embrace fallacy in order to elicit an emotional response?

Perhaps my question is too specific in terms of your response.

I think the word's meaning is about how it's used ... so there's no wrong way as long as it's communicating. Any word can become pejorative, depending on who's flinging it.

If we're using personal definitions, my "mature" means not worrying about what doesn't matter. By that definition, I'm probably around an age 45 level maturity.

But the more popular usage seems to be about casting down wisdom from a mountaintop, and getting to a state where they think they're correct enough to do that. Moving in that direction looks like the opposite of maturity according to my definition, because the knowledge that anyone will ever have about anything amounts to fuckall.


But if what matters to them is enjoying their limited time ... and exploring the questions of existence fulfills that goal ... then they are mature mature mature.

 

[NeverAmI]

I think the word's meaning is about how it's used ... so there's no wrong way as long as it's communicating. Any word can become pejorative, depending on who's flinging it.

If we're using personal definitions, my "mature" means not worrying about what doesn't matter. By that definition, I'm probably around an age 45 level maturity.

But the more popular usage seems to be about casting down wisdom from a mountaintop, and getting to a state where they think they're correct enough to do that. Moving in that direction looks like the opposite of maturity according to my definition, because the knowledge that anyone will ever have about anything amounts to fuckall.


But if what matters to them is enjoying their limited time ... and exploring the questions of existence fulfills that goal ... then they are mature mature mature.

From an epistemological perspective, do you think maturity is simply a nominal conception applied to some collection of virtues we observe?

There are a lot of virtues out there, perhaps that is one thing that may make maturity so fluid or so hard to put into words?

Edit: Oh, and you taught me a new word: pejorative.

 

[bijo]

The broken childish curiosity that lives in each of us. Enforced, dumbed down, afraid, peer-pressured, abused by their own children, people who either turn to becoming cruel, powerful and insensitive; or become weak and opinionless workers, sacrificing themselves for their families.

I see maturity as an act of unnatural violence.

Normally it shouldn't exist. Scientists, great thinkers, and artists/writers, are often rather immature, by all standards. So maybe being mature isn't such a useful thing, and kinda serves like slaverish cult, which is being reinforced between generations.

I still tend to use the word, mainly indicating that one may grow and learn some things that doesn't know now, or learn skills. However the word itself is meaningless, and since I don't like loose inhumane definitions, it usually makes me uneasy to use it for anything.

you are referring to the public commonly accepted conception of maturity, I'm asking about your own personal criteria

http://forum.infjs.com/showthread.php?t=7494

Here we go darling.


And this is what I wrote in that particular thread..

thanks dneecey, I should have searched first before posting. My view of maturity is similar to yours.

I see a mature person as someone who thinks for themselves. They are not insecure, they have nothing to prove, comfortable with themselves and they are accepting of others.

 

[youhemmein]

an understanding of the difference between "Need" and "want" and the ability to keep things in proper perspective. so, uhh...balance. yup.