What to you indicates maturity in a person?

bijo said:
^tell me more, what particularities of attitude are you referring to?
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Well, to me, maturity indicates a measure of patience, humility, and wisdom, and it can take time to develop those things. We live in a society where everything is instant, and the most important person is Self. It's easy to cut someone off on the highway but it's harder to let someone pass you. It's easy to think of yourself first and others second.

In words, I guess maturity to me is being able to truly treat others how you'd like to be treated, without expecting anything from them in return.
 
I dont look for maturity really. Well I like it if they have a decent income and potty trained. That is about it.
 
Maturity means,

Ability to take responsibility whatever they do,
Listening
Understanding
Patience at critical time
Smile. :)
 
bijo said:
you are referring to the public commonly accepted conception of maturity, I'm asking about your own personal criteria :)
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If you ask me, this is just a word, which people use, like love. It's too vague. It has some meaning, but it's so vague, that it can't be put in a word. I'm fundamentally not sure if people really grow. Sure, people learn things, all the time, maybe this is what should be called the process of maturity. However, I'm not sure to what extent this learning is real, and do we really grow. If it was up to me, I wouldn't divide people into mature and immature, because strictly, there's no way to make such separation.

About the common notion, just realized one more thing. It seems maturity is related with the desire/ability to: control, influence, own, dominate, direct, be "independent" (which I think is physically impossible, and is thus a verbal fraud), even manipulate... okay, I'll stop here. Such qualities I find as unnecessary, and interfering with the learning openness in oneself and towards others, so such notions of maturity can be also seen as immature.

Besides, I actually find impossible for anyone, including myself, to give definition outside of some culture. If people in my country are very mature on average, this changes my perspective to what is what; similarly, in the opposite case. Everybody who writes on maturity is biased by that. Eg: I probably wasn't going to be so tolerant of immaturity if I was surrounded by crowds of very immature and aggressive people. Which is the case - when I was a kid! I've been one of the most mature kids, just to contrast what has been around me. Now I think I'm approaching the other direction. (:

P.S. The language even tricks us, me and you, when you ask me about my "own personal criteria", because maybe such thing doesn't exist. I wouldn't have imagined the notion of maturity on my own, and the same applies to everybody else.
 
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The greatest factor in maturity I feel is being responsible for one's own actions, which implies being aware of and prepared for the consequences of our choices.

We can each personalise that to some extent through our type: For example, an SJ-type may focus on whether a person respects customs that they generally consider beneficial to one's long term prosperity. Such as buying a house vs renting, having a steady income, and not buying a flash car they can barely afford, etc. The SJ-type may look at these things when judging the person's maturity, feeling more anxious about a person's future from what they perceive as an irresponsible attitude.

An NF-type may instead focus on a person's emotional intelligence, considering things like being able to keep the peace, and making room for other people's beliefs and needs. The NF-type may be more aware of problems that can arise for a person who lacks emotional intelligence, and therefore use this to judge their maturity.
 
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Experience and the good judgement derived therefrom. This is a large part of maturity.

On the other hand, there is the recently understood technical consideration that the human brain is not completely developed and mature (i.e., completely formed, and integrated anatomically and physiologically) until approximately the age of 25, for most people.

We know that the brain physically changes in response to a person's experience. For example, functional MRI has shown that certain parts of the brain related to musicianship increase in size with rigorous musical training. Other investigations have yielded similar results. So, to generalize, experience does change the brain. Analogously, the psychiatric "talking cure" probably does the same kind of thing, causing anatomic/physiologic changes in the brain. These findings can be cause for optimism, both scientifically and for the suffering individual.
 
I am unable to judge people as mature or immature.

The word never comes up in my descriptions of people.
 
Personal and psychological awareness and knowing one's boundaries, limits.

Ability to learn from their mistakes and having the courage to spread the wisdom.
 
arbygil said:
Well, to me, maturity indicates a measure of patience, humility, and wisdom, and it can take time to develop those things. We live in a society where everything is instant, and the most important person is Self. It's easy to cut someone off on the highway but it's harder to let someone pass you. It's easy to think of yourself first and others second.

In words, I guess maturity to me is being able to truly treat others how you'd like to be treated, without expecting anything from them in return.
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SECONDED!
 
To me, one of the signs of maturity is the ability to balance the needs of others with the needs of self. That's such a fine line, and I think it's something we constantly negotiate.
 
My typical present instinct about maturity is a sage-like ability to see, interact with, and act on many differing perspectives--similar to what dneecey wrote. It is a cognitive/relational sense of maturity.

Yet as I consider a bit further, I realize I am coming to a new level of understanding regarding maturity. It still encompasses the above, but it has a little less cognitive based engagement. It seems to be a sense of oneness with the observer part of our psyche. It is being able to experience openly, without any need to protect ego or sense of self. One is ultimately secure in a sense of both being present in the moment as an individual and being something eternally beyond this experience.

This sense of maturity moves past the wisdom of sage and circles back into the seemingly incongruous fool--a place at the same time childlike and divinely wise.
 
Barnabas said:
Maturity is like porn, you know it when you see it.
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haha, i agree with this. also, though, i think maturity is very much culture-dependent. in some cultures, having a job indicates maturity. in others, it's raising a family. still others perceive pursuing intellectual hobbies as a sign of progressing beyond base concerns and entering into maturity. my person opinion is that maturity is when you no longer make excuses for the way your life has turned out, when you accept - but not beyond reason - responsibility for your part in the game of life. of course we can't control everything, and it's absurd to even try, but those things we HAVE control over and have an obligation to pay attention to, we should, and i think when we can do it, it shows we're maturing. but i also believe there's a very large portion of life that is not dependent on what we think and feel, you can call it luck, fate, whatever, but it is not in our hands. we don't start off from a neutral plane. and attempting to manipulate ALL the independent variables that impact your life, now and into the future, is naive, even disrespectful i would say. disrespectful in the sense that you're not appreciating the complexity of the natural world, of history, and of the circumstances that have brought you into being. in some ways, i think maturity goes against the concept of humility. but maybe in others, it accords with it.
sorry for the rambling post~!
 
I agree with the above posts to a certain extent.

But I would argue that for any of the above versions of maturity to be even possible - it would require someone who is honest with themselves. A mature person understands what their flaws are, and can candidly discuss them in a conversation. Self-introspection, self-examination, and a willingness to discuss/reveal what they truly feel and think.

In short, being humble and being candid/truthful, to me, are signs of maturity.
 
Roger said:
Maturity means,
Ability to take responsibility whatever they do,
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Jasmine85 said:
The greatest factor in maturity I feel is being responsible for one's own actions, which implies being aware of and prepared for the consequences of our choices....
An NF-type may instead focus on a person's emotional intelligence, considering things like being able to keep the peace, and making room for other people's beliefs and needs.
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BlitheBriley said:
To me, one of the signs of maturity is the ability to balance the needs of others with the needs of self. That's such a fine line, and I think it's something we constantly negotiate.
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When speaking of both plants and animals, maturity usually refers to reproduction. A distinction is made between when an animal becomes fertile and when it is mature.

Maturity in animals seems to refer to the state of development at which it is capable of bearing and raising young successfully.

In humans then, maturity could be very loosely defined as that state of development at which a person is capable of bearing and raising children successfully. Since human development is not just physical, but also intellectual and emotional - and greatly benefits from family stability, a mature person is one who can provide a stable/reliable physical, emotional and intellectual environment for their own children.

Extrapolating from this, one could say that mature people are those who can work, think, and regulate their emotions in a consistent, balanced and unselfish way.


edit: since stable families are the basic core in which children are raised, I'll add "the ability to form a stable monogamous relationship" to my list of markers for maturity.
 
bullinthesky said:
I agree with the above posts to a certain extent.

But I would argue that for any of the above versions of maturity to be even possible - it would require someone who is honest with themselves. A mature person understands what their flaws are, and can candidly discuss them in a conversation. Self-introspection, self-examination, and a willingness to discuss/reveal what they truly feel and think.

In short, being humble and being candid/truthful, to me, are signs of maturity.
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Yes. While some are lucky enough to have a constitutional maturity that manifests something like the definition FA just gave, for those less lucky, brutal self honesty is an essential prerequisite; real growth can't occur without it (to state the obvious). And it can require courage too.

I think maturity - though paradoxically tangible yet nebulous - is fundamentally a constitutional blessing; those without it are at a disadvantage in the lottery of life. I think it is a great divider in the quality of different individual's experience and cuts across material circumstances in a subtle way. And the world of the mature and the immature are too different universes without a window between them.

(Edit: and empathy is a prerequisite; the true acknowledgement of the validity of another's experience and existence. I always had a problem with that.)
 
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bullinthesky said:
I agree with the above posts to a certain extent.

But I would argue that for any of the above versions of maturity to be even possible - it would require someone who is honest with themselves. A mature person understands what their flaws are, and can candidly discuss them in a conversation. Self-introspection, self-examination, and a willingness to discuss/reveal what they truly feel and think.

In short, being humble and being candid/truthful, to me, are signs of maturity.
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Agree. Someone who communicates wisdom and understanding of differing views, without presenting themselves as more mature, better, or "over it" than anyone else is mature.

I have an immature mindset, and I recognize it. And as much as I wish it wasn't there, I've learned quite a bit from it. So, instead of being in a rush to become mature, I'll let my immaturity stick around a little longer, and learn something from it. :m052:
 
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I think I've thought for a long time without realizing it that "maturity" is a sort of way of overcoming instincts that have more control over you as a child. There is putting the needs of others above your own while learning to take care of yourself and taking responsibility for yourself and being practical and patient and other things. It's not, in my mind, any single thing.

I agree with enfp can be shy in that it's just a word. A very vague word.
 
The ability to listen, to be able to take on a variety of perspectives. To remain objective where possible. I'm not sure. People just always tell me I'm wise beyond my years, and I think it's related to these qualities.
 
maturity is when you don't let the bullheaded immature ones get to you. they usually get the hint, and mature up themselves. its too bad more people arent mature. i sure aint.
 
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