What were you like as a child/adolescent?
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arbygil
Passing through
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 9w1
It's hard to say. I was much like Indigo Sensor in some ways, in that I never met an adult stranger. I would always say "hello" and if they didn't say hello back, I kept on saying hello until they said hello to me (Mom's story).
I had a vivid imagination and I had a heart for justice at a young age (if anyone tried hurting my friends I'd stick up for them). My Barbie dolls and stuffed animals were my friends and I created involved and intricate backstories for them and their worlds. I began drawing/writing comics at around age 6, and I became more introverted after that time too. A lot of time spent in my room writing, drawing, watching TV, and creating songs on my recorder.
After age 5 I remember feeling very awkward around others, and in my neighborhood (but maybe that was because I was the only child of color in my neighborhood, and this was often pointed out to me in not-so-pleasant ways).
thataway
Newbie
- MBTI
- INFJ
In elementary school I was shy. I had a few friends, or I played by myself. I spent a lot of time in the yard or out in the woods leading my siblings on expeditions. We built forts and hideouts and climbed trees, and I collected insects and frogs and looked for snakes.
I could make up my own adventures and play by myself for hours. I couldn't understand why things like obscenities upset people so much, since they were only words, and I couldn't understand why a utopian system and the abolition of money would never work (money was just paper right?). I loved to read, and read prolifically through middle and high school.
In high school my social group was larger but close friends were still limited. I got by without attracting too much attention, either negative or positive. I took a lot of art, and daydreamed so much that I later found out all my teachers thought I was constantly high. I got good grades, and thought the transition to college would be seamless and enjoyable.
And while college was not at all easy and quite often miserable, it did force me to finally stop letting other people take care of the hard stuff for me. In that way I think it was the best thing that could have happened; I'm far more independent than I might otherwise have been.
I could make up my own adventures and play by myself for hours. I couldn't understand why things like obscenities upset people so much, since they were only words, and I couldn't understand why a utopian system and the abolition of money would never work (money was just paper right?). I loved to read, and read prolifically through middle and high school.
In high school my social group was larger but close friends were still limited. I got by without attracting too much attention, either negative or positive. I took a lot of art, and daydreamed so much that I later found out all my teachers thought I was constantly high. I got good grades, and thought the transition to college would be seamless and enjoyable.
And while college was not at all easy and quite often miserable, it did force me to finally stop letting other people take care of the hard stuff for me. In that way I think it was the best thing that could have happened; I'm far more independent than I might otherwise have been.
Julia
Community Member
- MBTI
- infj
I was quiet, withdrawn and somewhat serious, but with a silly streak. I *really* wanted to be an astronaut and Sally Ride was my hero. At 13 I spent almost all my time thinking about whether or not there was a God, and trying to sort out the Creation vs. Evolution debate with the information I had been provided with. I also had posters showing the structure of the universe and was amazed by its fractal nature. I would learn everything I could about Mars and the planets. My brother was always especially smart in math and science and would talk a bit about hypercubes and the fourth dimension which fascinated me, so I would obsess about comparing the 2nd to the 3rd dimension and then try to extrapolate what the relationship between the 3rd and 4th dimensions would be. I didn't have the math background to do this in an informed way, so it was a cartoon version of it, but what was always consistent was my attempt to think and understand the biggest thoughts available to me.
This also made me incredibly lonely, and I constantly searched for a kindred spirit, but I was just on a different wavelength. I didn't want friends enough to change myself, but was basically lonely throughout most of my childhood and teens. It was better when I was around my brother and sister, but when I left home as a teenager for boarding school, it really felt isolating. In some ways I have wondered if I am an INTJ, but socially most everyone rejects the idea because I have a kind of emotional sensitivity and awareness in dealing with people. I probably am INFJ, but I am I pretty analytical and detached, and have a natural agnosticism that doesn't appear to have its roots in my environmental influences as a child.
This also made me incredibly lonely, and I constantly searched for a kindred spirit, but I was just on a different wavelength. I didn't want friends enough to change myself, but was basically lonely throughout most of my childhood and teens. It was better when I was around my brother and sister, but when I left home as a teenager for boarding school, it really felt isolating. In some ways I have wondered if I am an INTJ, but socially most everyone rejects the idea because I have a kind of emotional sensitivity and awareness in dealing with people. I probably am INFJ, but I am I pretty analytical and detached, and have a natural agnosticism that doesn't appear to have its roots in my environmental influences as a child.
Zero Angel
Permanent Fixture
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- Possibly 4w5
I had a lot of different sides as a child. I recall when I was about 8-10 being really loud, thrill seeking, and clumsy and I introverted once in awhile by playing RPGs like Legend of Zelda, FFI, and Dragon Warrior.
From 11-12, my friends and I would often play make believe games like being ninjas and having mock swordfights, and mapping out territories or devising with various 'inventions'. I also liked to draw various heroes of stories and write about them, and draw vehicles and other things and give them life through imagination. I formed a club composed of about 8 different boys, and we would form different types of games and ceremonies and do club stuff. I was pretty bossy, but really good at thinking of ideas for stuff the club could do, and would order my underlings to carry out my plans. The jocks liked to try and foil our plans once in awhile but we had fun. I had an uncle who tried to get me into sports, but I was AWFUL at them because I had trouble regulating my attention (I would sometimes drift off into my inner world at a critical moment, or just not care enough about the game to try really hard), hockey and baseball werent my friends, though I was good at short distance sprinting, high jump, and long jump.
When I was 13 I had the most terrible year of my life, I was sent to live with my grandmother and enrolled in a white christian school (keep in mind I was an athiest), I listed my faith as protestent thinking protestant meant someone who protests the church. Needless to say I was never popular, and I had a few strange experiences with girls and no friends (at one time I was hickeyed up by a girl in a most aggressive manner, and in addition there was this other crazy girl who would chase me around the schoolyard even though I didnt like girls at the time). The only things I could do was sit in my room and watch cartoons, or play videogames or draw. It was a life of total isolation.
From 14-15, I became more melancholic and having moved yet again I made a couple of friends but was generally still an outcast. I still liked to draw and play videogames, and got along great with other NFs, in addition to an INTJ who I was friends with. Though I liked to play a little bit, I mostly would draw in my art book, making things like mazes and anime drawings. I had the most fun with one of my friend's younger brothers and did some shoplifting, took up smoking and just in general became somewhat rebellious and disillusioned with authority (which I saw as oppressive). I wasnt popular and was called 'gay' and weird by the jocks, who were quite mean to me -- I hated junior HS terribly and since I took their criticisms personally this made me even more introverted and generally unhappy.
From 16-18, I moved back to my home area and went to this other school. I wasnt hated or mocked in a derisive fashion, any mocking was all in good fun and not mean spirited and I generally thrived during these years. I was still somewhat introverted and some people accused me of being snobby. I enjoyed learning a little bit more in this environment and it helped that I had an *NTP teacher who encouraged it and who I became pals with. In this environment I occassionally cracked off a bit of wit and became friendly with nearly all of the students (it was a very small school), including an ENFP girl who I enjoyed flirting with. I held parties at my house, and while occasionally kept to myself, still interacted with people.
Also, I am native american (mostly), and noticed that people at white schools were always much more vicious in their mockery. I did not enjoy any of my years going to white schools. I was always a little bit weird and abstracted, living primarily in my inner realm even whilst doing things in the outer one. It was just so fun for me, while the outer world seemed dull and boring by comparison.
From 11-12, my friends and I would often play make believe games like being ninjas and having mock swordfights, and mapping out territories or devising with various 'inventions'. I also liked to draw various heroes of stories and write about them, and draw vehicles and other things and give them life through imagination. I formed a club composed of about 8 different boys, and we would form different types of games and ceremonies and do club stuff. I was pretty bossy, but really good at thinking of ideas for stuff the club could do, and would order my underlings to carry out my plans. The jocks liked to try and foil our plans once in awhile but we had fun. I had an uncle who tried to get me into sports, but I was AWFUL at them because I had trouble regulating my attention (I would sometimes drift off into my inner world at a critical moment, or just not care enough about the game to try really hard), hockey and baseball werent my friends, though I was good at short distance sprinting, high jump, and long jump.
When I was 13 I had the most terrible year of my life, I was sent to live with my grandmother and enrolled in a white christian school (keep in mind I was an athiest), I listed my faith as protestent thinking protestant meant someone who protests the church. Needless to say I was never popular, and I had a few strange experiences with girls and no friends (at one time I was hickeyed up by a girl in a most aggressive manner, and in addition there was this other crazy girl who would chase me around the schoolyard even though I didnt like girls at the time). The only things I could do was sit in my room and watch cartoons, or play videogames or draw. It was a life of total isolation.
From 14-15, I became more melancholic and having moved yet again I made a couple of friends but was generally still an outcast. I still liked to draw and play videogames, and got along great with other NFs, in addition to an INTJ who I was friends with. Though I liked to play a little bit, I mostly would draw in my art book, making things like mazes and anime drawings. I had the most fun with one of my friend's younger brothers and did some shoplifting, took up smoking and just in general became somewhat rebellious and disillusioned with authority (which I saw as oppressive). I wasnt popular and was called 'gay' and weird by the jocks, who were quite mean to me -- I hated junior HS terribly and since I took their criticisms personally this made me even more introverted and generally unhappy.
From 16-18, I moved back to my home area and went to this other school. I wasnt hated or mocked in a derisive fashion, any mocking was all in good fun and not mean spirited and I generally thrived during these years. I was still somewhat introverted and some people accused me of being snobby. I enjoyed learning a little bit more in this environment and it helped that I had an *NTP teacher who encouraged it and who I became pals with. In this environment I occassionally cracked off a bit of wit and became friendly with nearly all of the students (it was a very small school), including an ENFP girl who I enjoyed flirting with. I held parties at my house, and while occasionally kept to myself, still interacted with people.
Also, I am native american (mostly), and noticed that people at white schools were always much more vicious in their mockery. I did not enjoy any of my years going to white schools. I was always a little bit weird and abstracted, living primarily in my inner realm even whilst doing things in the outer one. It was just so fun for me, while the outer world seemed dull and boring by comparison.
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gloomy-optimist
Used to live here
- MBTI
- INxJ
- Enneagram
- 4w3
INFJ as children
I was very imaginative, very curious; I loved to explore, to climb, to see, to do. I played well with others -- but I've always been with my twin sister.
Basically, I was pretty bossy, but not in a mean way -- I just wanted to do and see, and I didn't like the slower kids getting in my way from doing that. I did include people, though, but I don't think my Fe REALLY kicked in until 5th grade.
I don't remember a lot of physical stuff. I remember a lot of thought, feeling, mental and physical sensation, but I usually have to concentrate some to get an idea of my actual surroundings as a child
I was very imaginative, very curious; I loved to explore, to climb, to see, to do. I played well with others -- but I've always been with my twin sister.
Basically, I was pretty bossy, but not in a mean way -- I just wanted to do and see, and I didn't like the slower kids getting in my way from doing that. I did include people, though, but I don't think my Fe REALLY kicked in until 5th grade.
I don't remember a lot of physical stuff. I remember a lot of thought, feeling, mental and physical sensation, but I usually have to concentrate some to get an idea of my actual surroundings as a child
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sassafras
...
- MBTI
- .
As a kid, I was very egocentric and outgoing. The annoying kid that would point out the uncomfortable obvious. I would boss the other kids around and if I didn't get my way, I used emotional blackmail, or was sure to crack jokes at their expense. I wasn't interested in terrorizing anyone; I just genuinely believed that my ideas were better.
Mind you, I always stood up for myself and for other people. The psychological warfare middle school girls would wage against one another or utilize on the more socially awkward never sat well with me, and I didn't have the patience for those tricksy nuances; I was blunt and I called people out on their passive aggressive bullshit (even though I sometimes employed those tactics myself...) As a result, middle school was pretty dramatic time for me; my constant public clashes with certain groups of girls were never tame. I preferred the company of boys who never did any of the underhanded, girls-room gossip. Unfortunately, as we began to approach puberty, my association with boys earned me a rather unfortunate reputation from my contemptuous feminine adversaries. It was constant war and name-calling until we all went to different High Schools in the area.
Outside of school, I was very creative and active. I played outside with the neighborhood kids a lot, but when I was alone, I was always storytelling or drawing something. I had a very active, visual imagination.
I also devoured books by the hundreds.
Mind you, I always stood up for myself and for other people. The psychological warfare middle school girls would wage against one another or utilize on the more socially awkward never sat well with me, and I didn't have the patience for those tricksy nuances; I was blunt and I called people out on their passive aggressive bullshit (even though I sometimes employed those tactics myself...) As a result, middle school was pretty dramatic time for me; my constant public clashes with certain groups of girls were never tame. I preferred the company of boys who never did any of the underhanded, girls-room gossip. Unfortunately, as we began to approach puberty, my association with boys earned me a rather unfortunate reputation from my contemptuous feminine adversaries. It was constant war and name-calling until we all went to different High Schools in the area.
Outside of school, I was very creative and active. I played outside with the neighborhood kids a lot, but when I was alone, I was always storytelling or drawing something. I had a very active, visual imagination.
I also devoured books by the hundreds.
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Slyphee
Newbie
- MBTI
- INFJ
When I was younger I was alot more social than I am now, I'd play with the kids next door or when i was by myself I'd entertain myself with TV, books, games... Until I had an arguement with an older brother of one of my friends, from that point I went out less and less (Along with my mother restricting how much I could go out). To me it seemed like the more I grew, less places were available for me to go.
Primary school I was that average kid where attention was only brought to me because of my popular brother. I liked it that way, people were nice but I pretty much kept to myself going wild every now and then. Oh yeah I mainly hung around the girls back then, they always seemed more interesting to be with although I still hung with the boys around 40% of the time too. All in all though I was closest with my best friend in primary school (lost contact), he was like me, weird in a sort of way but thats the type of person I love to be around.
Secondary school was when the introversion truly came about, I spent alot of time in the library during lunch or with a select group of friends in an enclosed area of the school. Video games, over-protective parenting, the internet and books lead to me staying inside alot, and to me, was alot more interesting than going out and robbing people, dating girls or any of the other stuff my friends were doing.
Social scenes changed within secondary school as I became a drifter and went between whichever group I felt to be a part of at the time. More and more I reverted inwards to my personal thoughts, daydreaming and starting to care less. Towards the end my social life was pretty non-existant and I was happy that way, having lots of people to talk to but having me for me. Reading and playing games was all I wanted at that time... I really need to learn to write more engaging stories, hmph.
Primary school I was that average kid where attention was only brought to me because of my popular brother. I liked it that way, people were nice but I pretty much kept to myself going wild every now and then. Oh yeah I mainly hung around the girls back then, they always seemed more interesting to be with although I still hung with the boys around 40% of the time too. All in all though I was closest with my best friend in primary school (lost contact), he was like me, weird in a sort of way but thats the type of person I love to be around.
Secondary school was when the introversion truly came about, I spent alot of time in the library during lunch or with a select group of friends in an enclosed area of the school. Video games, over-protective parenting, the internet and books lead to me staying inside alot, and to me, was alot more interesting than going out and robbing people, dating girls or any of the other stuff my friends were doing.
Social scenes changed within secondary school as I became a drifter and went between whichever group I felt to be a part of at the time. More and more I reverted inwards to my personal thoughts, daydreaming and starting to care less. Towards the end my social life was pretty non-existant and I was happy that way, having lots of people to talk to but having me for me. Reading and playing games was all I wanted at that time... I really need to learn to write more engaging stories, hmph.
ec3khrl
Community Member
- MBTI
- ENTP
When I was 3,4 years old I had like hundreds of toy cars with me, and I can recognize the brand of every single car on the street. Maniac if you ask me now.
I feel nothing about cars now, and don't know anything about them anymore.
My parents showed me photos reading newspapers and magazines when I was 3, I don't think I could possibly understand it at all, but photos don't lie. I don't know what I was doing or why.
I liked to ask a lot of annoying questions about anything to the point I was brushed aside, completely ignored.
The extroverted tendency kept on during my life in secondary schools, constant underachiever. Just did it well enough to get by no problem.
However, during my undergraduate study I became quiet in those years, I guess I wasn't interested in people in general back then.
I feel nothing about cars now, and don't know anything about them anymore.
My parents showed me photos reading newspapers and magazines when I was 3, I don't think I could possibly understand it at all, but photos don't lie. I don't know what I was doing or why.
I liked to ask a lot of annoying questions about anything to the point I was brushed aside, completely ignored.
The extroverted tendency kept on during my life in secondary schools, constant underachiever. Just did it well enough to get by no problem.
However, during my undergraduate study I became quiet in those years, I guess I wasn't interested in people in general back then.
- MBTI
- infj
- Enneagram
- ....
I had kind of a messed up life as a kid which seriously drove me inward. Dad wasn't around until I was almost a teen and mom had drug issues, she used to send me to a neighbors to pick up "money he owed her" I remember opening it one time and it was white powder... Stuff like that made me kind of isolated. Then my brothers were born and my life became about taking care of them.
Personality wise, the words that would most aptly describe me and were most used to describe me by others like my teachers were "Quiet" "Shy" "Loner" "Good boy" "Well behaved" "Artistic" "Sweet" "Dangerous" I loved to draw and paint as early as kindergarten, I didnt have too many friends and I was usually out hiking in the woods behind the Housing Projects we lived in with my BB Gun that looked like an M-16. I had maybe 1 or 2 friends who were just kids that followed me around on my silly little adventures. I had a lot of hidden anger issues too, one time my friend Jason was coming to visit me I must have been in 2nd or 3rd grade and some local bully who lived near me had started picking on him, I saw it through the window so I went out, grabbed him by the hair and started ramming his face into the side of the brick unit I lived in. I broke 2 of his teeth and his nose. I had to go live with my aunt for a while after that which broke my heart because I was so far away from my mother and my brothers. When I came back I learned how to "control" those impulses... luckily my father had finnally become a man not too long after that and came back and got us out of that horrible horrible situation ad moved us to the suburbs and got my mother some help. We were a family from there forward.
As a teenager I was mostly quiet, in fact I think by the time I was 11 and started puberty I went an entire year without saying anything to anyone. I mostly hung out at the public library studying serial killers and criminology, At the time I really wanted to hunt serial killers when I became an adult. I watched the movie copy cat a few times too many.
I did everything in life late, 1st girlfriend when I was 18, virginity when I was 19, 1st serious girlfriend when I was 21. I didnt emerge from my shell in any real fashion until college, and even then I spent all my time alone writing in my notebooks and drawing with charcoal.
I know it seems like I am painting a fairly dismal picture on this, but you have to understand all that crazy BS aside I wasnt really unhappy, I was just sort of aloner who kept himself to himself. I still am for the most part I need lots of ME time away from my friends and brothers and family which they have never been able to understand.
Personality wise, the words that would most aptly describe me and were most used to describe me by others like my teachers were "Quiet" "Shy" "Loner" "Good boy" "Well behaved" "Artistic" "Sweet" "Dangerous" I loved to draw and paint as early as kindergarten, I didnt have too many friends and I was usually out hiking in the woods behind the Housing Projects we lived in with my BB Gun that looked like an M-16. I had maybe 1 or 2 friends who were just kids that followed me around on my silly little adventures. I had a lot of hidden anger issues too, one time my friend Jason was coming to visit me I must have been in 2nd or 3rd grade and some local bully who lived near me had started picking on him, I saw it through the window so I went out, grabbed him by the hair and started ramming his face into the side of the brick unit I lived in. I broke 2 of his teeth and his nose. I had to go live with my aunt for a while after that which broke my heart because I was so far away from my mother and my brothers. When I came back I learned how to "control" those impulses... luckily my father had finnally become a man not too long after that and came back and got us out of that horrible horrible situation ad moved us to the suburbs and got my mother some help. We were a family from there forward.
As a teenager I was mostly quiet, in fact I think by the time I was 11 and started puberty I went an entire year without saying anything to anyone. I mostly hung out at the public library studying serial killers and criminology, At the time I really wanted to hunt serial killers when I became an adult. I watched the movie copy cat a few times too many.
I did everything in life late, 1st girlfriend when I was 18, virginity when I was 19, 1st serious girlfriend when I was 21. I didnt emerge from my shell in any real fashion until college, and even then I spent all my time alone writing in my notebooks and drawing with charcoal.
I know it seems like I am painting a fairly dismal picture on this, but you have to understand all that crazy BS aside I wasnt really unhappy, I was just sort of aloner who kept himself to himself. I still am for the most part I need lots of ME time away from my friends and brothers and family which they have never been able to understand.
Minerva
Community Member
- MBTI
- INFJ
I always loved to read and learn new words. I still do. 
As a child, I was very lonely. At first, I was hyper, loud, and tried to make friends, but no one seemed to like me. They called me "weird" and made fun of me. Even the nice kids that I could tell WANTED to befriend me wouldn't do so because they were afraid of getting picked on for associating with me.
As a result, I became withdrawn for several years. I wondered if there was something wrong with me since NO ONE liked me. Well, the teachers loved me because I was an excellent student, but the kids never did. I tried to ignore my lowering self-esteem by reading even more than I had previously and by observing others. I was very niave and wound up learning much by eavesdropping on my peers. I wanted friends so badly that it shocked me when I heard people insulting their supposed "friends" behind their backs. It taught me at an early age that most people can't be trusted.
By the time I was 13, I decided that I was sick of being miserable. Every time someone insulted me, I internally praised myself to counteract their words. When I was 15, I had finally become a confident person that loved/respected myself due to my constent self-compliments and the fact that I'd come to terms with my sexual orientation.
Most of my classmates still disliked me, but it didn't BOTHER me anymore. In fact, I barely noticed. I made close friends that year that I still have today.
As a child, I was very lonely. At first, I was hyper, loud, and tried to make friends, but no one seemed to like me. They called me "weird" and made fun of me. Even the nice kids that I could tell WANTED to befriend me wouldn't do so because they were afraid of getting picked on for associating with me.
As a result, I became withdrawn for several years. I wondered if there was something wrong with me since NO ONE liked me. Well, the teachers loved me because I was an excellent student, but the kids never did. I tried to ignore my lowering self-esteem by reading even more than I had previously and by observing others. I was very niave and wound up learning much by eavesdropping on my peers. I wanted friends so badly that it shocked me when I heard people insulting their supposed "friends" behind their backs. It taught me at an early age that most people can't be trusted.
By the time I was 13, I decided that I was sick of being miserable. Every time someone insulted me, I internally praised myself to counteract their words. When I was 15, I had finally become a confident person that loved/respected myself due to my constent self-compliments and the fact that I'd come to terms with my sexual orientation.
Most of my classmates still disliked me, but it didn't BOTHER me anymore. In fact, I barely noticed. I made close friends that year that I still have today.